I have had the privilege of working with many people in Alcoholics Anonymous. I have worked with all walks of life: male and female, rich and poor, young and old, believers and non believers, Christians, Jews and Muslims. I do the same thing with everyone - I always have the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous between them and me. I simply open the book and we begin reading at the preface. As we read the book we discuss the material. I don't change anything for anyone. The solution, a vital spiritual experience, is the solution regardless of what their problem may be in addition to their addiction. Obviously, if a person has mental problems then additional help is necessary for them. I never tell anyone what they must do - I just follow the material and incorporate the Twelve Steps as we move through it all: A practice that can be replicated by anyone.
I know that my behavior is being observed. Not just whether I can "talk the talk" but more importantly can I "walk the walk". Am I practicing the principles of AA? In the forward of The Twelve And Twelve it says, "The twelve steps are a group of principles, spiritual in nature, which if practiced as a way of life can expel the obsession to drink and enable the sufferer to become happily and usefully whole."
The following is what my sponsees see in me: I am responsible. When asked to take someone through the book of Alcoholics Anonymous, I say yes. I never consider whether I have enough time... I simply just make it work. There isn't a greater exercise one can participate in than to help another recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. Nothing. We meet once a week for an hour and I only cancel if I have an urgent family matter or if I am doing step work with another. My emotional state rarely, if ever, changes one week to the next as I am serene and at peace. I never prepare for a meeting as I am dependent upon and trusting in God. Again, I never tell another what they must do as it is their recovery. It is their relationship with God. I am the example, not the taskmaster.
When we live this life in AA we become happily and usefully whole. Let us share in this legacy.
Written by Armand
Enabling a sufferer to become happily and usefully whole is made possible only by a sponsorship life of adherence to something greater than one's own humanity. As I know it, the blueprint iterated in your writing is exact, consistent, non-judgmental and kind. It is a great model for others to follow. One observation, however: the ultimate beneficiary of the dynamic you delineate is the sponsor him/herself. The relationship between sponsor and sufferer is a classic "win-win" arrangement if and only if the work of incorporating The Steps into one's life is the result. That has been my experience with my sponsor. As I follow the path you've lit, I live in the glow you describe. In order to be kept, it must be continually given away. Sponsorship, as you've clearly outlined it, is both a gift and an honor of recovery.
ReplyDeleteMichael one cannot give away that which they don't have. The sponsor in that relationship is driven by the recognition of their very own words to live the life they are sharing...Thank you...Armand
DeleteThere is a responsibility vested in us as sponsors to help show others precisely how they can recover through the Big Book. It never ceases to amaze me when we see how it works in others. Sponsorship is a commitment, different than being a friend. When I say yes, certain responsibilities go with it. It certainly helps my recovery as I can only pass this on if my own house is in order. Like everything else in AA sponsorship is a gift that is freely given.
ReplyDeleteAnne yes Sponsorship is a commitment, a necessary one, as a n alcoholic can't possibly live in the will of God without helping others...Thank you...Armand
Deletethis Comment Is From A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic
ReplyDeleteArmand,
As I've written before, one of the greatest blessings received and fondest memories recalled is to have been present when you first came to believe that God Himself is the ultimate author of the 12 steps of AA and then bear witness as you received Him and the Gift to confidently confirm to others that the yearnings of every heart consumed by desperation, fear and trepidation can only be satisfied by a true spiritual conversion. The gift you received to fully apprehend God's revelation, that He personally and continuously reaches out to each and every one of His errant children with fiery passion and boundless love, no matter how far we have strayed from His Light, opened the door to the ultimate and ongoing gift and revelation that He desires that all be joint "sponsor's" of that plan.
I often pass by the small stone chapel where your miracle and ministry began and fondly recall that day we furtively entered. I knew the doors are rarely if ever open and its seldom if ever used, but that one day it was unlocked, warm and full of life. There truly are no coincidences in life. We were there by Divine appointment. Over time I watched as you took up His call with complete abandon. He has used your unique personality, talents, culture and experiances as an inspiration to a great many others desperately seeking the only true release from the seemingly inescapable internal prison of self.
My witness to that event and the continuing miraculous reality of its effects are as clear today as it was many years ago. The world is a far better place because you said yes to His invitation and have been faithful and true to His call. That call which we call Sponsorship in AA can be found in 1 Peter 3:15 "But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect". May He continue to richly bless His children through the ministry He has provided them through you and may you continue to recall and share His glorious intervention until you finally meet Him, face to face.,,
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic
DeleteAs always just wonderful and Thank you...Armand