When I first walked through the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous I had no idea what to expect. Though quickly I was able to see what worked in others - a belief in and dependence upon God. As Bill once said "Would I have it? Of course I would."The Sixth Step of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous is "We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character." We learn through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous that alcohol is but a symptom of our true malady, our true malady is in fact self-centered fear. We are afraid we are not going to get what we want, afraid that we are going to lose what we have. Once our fears are triggered we reach for our character defects in an attempt to satiate our human instincts. The dictionary defines defect as, "the lack of something necessary for completion or perfection."
We learn in the Fourth Step of the program that it is necessary to find out what it is about us that keeps the Grace of God from our lives. It is in doing this that we discover the exact nature of our wrongs, as we make the list of our defects. In the Fifth Step of the program we confess our character defects. Then, in the Sixth Step, we are entirely ready and willing to have these defects removed.
It is our character defects that keep us from the perfection of God - from becoming the human being God created each of us to be and not the self-centered people who care only for their human desires and what they think they need in life. A person who is willing to use almost any means necessary to fulfill their desires is sick.
With all of our human flaws we can become the being God created us to be when we turn from our human nature and surrender to His will.
Written by Armand
From where did these character defects emanate? What was/is the source of such blockage. Yes, I learned in AA that fear was the basic problem. Fear yielded pride as a defense, and so I became stuck as a human being. Fear is what I told myself about me, and pride is what I told you about me. Alcohol elixed these twin killers into what became my defective character, and, therefore, my defective life. The final drink sent me to my knees in prayer. AA was the answer and a real life was the promise. Simple but not easy! I had to incorporate The Twelve Steps into my life in a way that they became my life. Through The Power Within me, I have been able to learn that fear and pride are bogeyman and not the man I was born to be and to love. The manner in which I live my life today must render my life worthy enough to be given away. And then I must do exactly that.
ReplyDeleteI see myself as the person before I drank then when I drank and after stopping drinking through AA. I can never go back to the person that I was before I drank. I have to keep moving forward on the journey of sobriety and working the steps and asking God for help when those defects creep back in. Please God go before me or put the words in my mouth or show me what I need to do, what's your will for me are questions that are always with me. Then I can become the person that He would have me be.
ReplyDeleteWell said Armand!
ReplyDeleteThis Comment Is From A Gratefully recovering Alcoholic
ReplyDeleteArmand, thanks again for sharing.
Once this portion of the process is apprehended, I soon discover that I no longer fear the loss of the life once lived for it has been cast, like so much refuse, into the garbage pail of sinful actions forgiven and forgotten by the Creator of all. An inexplicable shift in paradigm has occurred, the animal appetite needs no longer be sated, my fleshly desires have lost their allure, the obsession has been removed. In its place grows a consuming desire to drink at the Masters well as I pray:
Gracious God, knowledge of You is my purpose and passion. It is my greatest need and most urgent desire. I really want to know You... not just as Creator and Sustainer of the universe but as my Father and Friend. I confess that often my lack of knowledge of You is the direct cause of my insecurity, inconsistency and insufficiency and vacillation in my prayers.
Lord, I commit this day to seeking to know You better, To open my true self to You; I desire to be real, honest and vulnerable with You; I invite You to invade every aspect of my life. Show me Your will and give me the strength and courage to follow Your guidance. Help me to dedicate myself to making the knowledge of You my first priority. Reveal Your grace and goodness, Your righteousness and power as life on life's terms becomes a joy filled adventure engaged in frequent visits to the mercy seat of the One who refines me in the fire of Your love. It is a miracle, as a new and unspeakably holy freedom is experienced and explored, the old life has passed away, a new life begun.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic