In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous it
says, "When we
encountered A.A., the fallacy of our defiance was revealed. At no time
had we asked what God's will was for us; instead we had been telling
Him what it ought to be. No man, we saw, could believe in God and defy
Him, too. Belief meant RELIANCE, NOT DEFIANCE. In A.A. we saw the fruits
of this belief: men and women spared from alcohol's final catastrophe.
We saw them meet and
transcend their other pains and trials. We saw them calmly accept
impossible situations, seeking neither to run nor to recriminate. This
was not only
faith; it was faith that worked under all conditions. We soon concluded
that whatever price in humility we must pay, we would pay."Written by Armand
Edited by Caitlin Alexandra
I didn't think of it as defiance. It was just my kind of a business arrangement with God: "if You do this for me, I'll do this for me." Self-centered and arrogant and destined to keep me in everlasting pain. But, as you point out, something happened on the way to a life whose final achievement would have been ruin. The Twelve Steps intervened and led me the place where I never expected but ultimately found The Power. Within me! . That Awareness of The Source of Power meant a change from defiance to reliance. For me, that change was simple but not easy. Based onTwelve Step-inspired Trust, my mind was relieved of its constant burden, my decisions were reduced to one. I now need only to pray for The Power to carry out my life as it was originally intended. From confusion to profusion. From defiance to Reliance.
ReplyDeleteMichael A beautiful life can be realized when we move from a life arrogance and self centeredness to a life of humility, peace and joy...Thanks so much...Armand
ReplyDeleteHumility results in peace of mind. Peace of mind is found in Gods will. It's not a struggle to push for results. It's doing my best, belief in Grace and turning the outcome over to God. Easier said than done. Fear is underneath my defiance usually or hurt
ReplyDeleteSteps help me live in reliance on God, rather than in hurt and fear.
ReplyDeleteSpiritual Being Without The Twelve Steps of AA our lives would be full of resentment, anger, fear but with a reliance on God a loving peaceful life, regardless of what is happening in our lives, is given to us...Thank you...Armand
DeleteI am defiant by nature. All that my defiance has ever done for me is exhaust and push and pull me in every wrong direction. My defiance is an attempt to disregard anything but my own thinking as ideal. My defiance is the wall that serves to bounce off it anything which tries to come close. I put to the test all that is thrown at me - wisdom, knowledge, inspiration even - before it can pass through the impenetrable barrier of which I own and I alone fortify. Through the periods of using and drinking and also the drier periods when I wasn't practicing the true program, I prayed to God asking for help in keeping the walls of my surreally formed wall strong. Little did I know that He was the one trying to get through all that time.
ReplyDeleteAll that time… I spent it all setting up what I thought was my stronghold of the most awesome of traits and optimally placed defenses. All that time He was there, waiting for me to come out from behind my thwarted wall and embrace Him. Through the twelve steps of the program the embrace did transpired. Truly. It didn't happen my way, it happened His. It happened when I began to pray for His will to be done. Ever so deliberately His will came to being in my life as He helped me in striking down my barrier. The structure cracked and it split and it eventually shattered, all my wreckage lying there to sweep into His hands -- and we stepped over into the light, which I had stubbornly blocked out, together. Now it is in being respectful, unpresuming, modest (and in not being intransigent to the point I am hurting myself and those I love) that I fill the void of my lost and lonely self with humility and grace and, some day, maybe even wisdom.
Caitlin just love when you wrote "that I fill the void of my lost and lonely self with humility and grace and, some day, maybe even wisdom." Know that one can't be in the will of God without humility and once in the will of God one has received from God all the wisdom needed. Thank you so much for sharing your experience...Armand
ReplyDeleteThis Is From A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic
ReplyDeleteWrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy and but not least, gluttony. Each represents the essence of unrestrained human nature. All find their foundation in self worship, none can be abandoned by anything short of a miracle. This is the "fruit basket" I carried through the doors of AA and were it not for the crippling effects of overwhelming desperation I would never have crouched to enter through that low and narrow gate.
Truly, God Himself had been walking beside me all along, even during the most depraved events of my prodigal journey. Loving and reaching out past my every act of unwavering defiance. His only one desire for me? That I surrender to His unspeakable love, accept the price he paid for me and invite Him to dwell within my heart. The 12 Steps and fellowship of AA brought into crystal clarity the faith hope and charity that is the Eternal Author's gift freely offered to all who would receive it.
And having received Him I become a partaker of all as His Presence provides; true love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Yes, just for today, I pray that I will more clearly see His Presence in this world, in circumstances, in people, in the new person He is creating in me and celebrate the new life He is creating in others! Lord, I want to start this day with a pure heart so that I will experience more of the wonder of Your grace and goodness.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic..
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic The solution to our alcoholic problem is a vital spiritual experience, in that we must give life to our relationship with God. That is accomplished by the surrender of our human nature to the will of God. In the will of God we are trusting and relying on God to meet our needs as He would have us. Loved when you said, in reference to our character defects, "none can be abandoned anything short of a miracle." We are not miracles but that which has occurred for us is...Thank you...Armand
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DeleteSpiritual Being, welcome. It's really good to have you here. Grateful for your presence.
ReplyDeleteSpiritual Being Thank you for your comment...Armand
ReplyDeleteOriginally written by Spiritual Being:
ReplyDelete..."freeing us to be open to the world and sensitive to the needs of others." What an excellent summation of the expansiveness in God"s will.
The hard shell alcoholism created around me was closing into a tiny prison. There was little openness to much. A singleness of focus on maintaining supply of booze was about extent of my faculties use, with moments to review my grudges, self pity, and growing despair. in contrast in the openness to life I feel on any given day is a fair measure of my spiritual condition. The level of sensitivity, empathy and compassion expressed might be good indications of my spiritual fitness. Only through reliance on God can this fitness and my sobriety be maintained.
ReplyDeleteSpiritual Being obviously when we are focused on self and caught in our problems,
ReplyDeleteWe are incapable of being present to the world around us. By placing our complete trust in God and living in God's will, free of self we able to be present...Thank You... Armand