The chapter on the fourth step in Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions describes our dysfunctional relations well: "But it is from our twisted relations with family, friends, and society at large that many of us have suffered the most. We have been especially stupid and stubborn about them. The primary fact that we failed to recognize is our total inability to form a true partnership with another human being."
I went through my entire life unable to interact with others on an intimate level. I was incapable of allowing others to experience me as I truly was and I was unwilling to allow others to share with me their own true self. I would present to the world what I thought the world needed to see about me so I could feel good and safe about myself. In the past, the relationships I did have were of the type which, when I was done taking that which I wanted from them and them from me, the relationship was over. I was incapable of FORMING AND SUSTAINING RELATIONSHIPS in an honest and caring way with other human beings.
The greatest gift I have received from developing a personal relationship with God is the ability to interact with other human beings at an honest and true level - therefore forming and sustaining relationships that are caring and loving, loyal and trust-giving. My landing on such soil from which these relations sprout was done simply, but not easily, by going through the twelve steps of the program of AA. This can occur for any who return to the being God created and meant for them to be. When this does occur, human potential is maximized and becoming a recovered, unbroken being is completely possible.
Edited by Caitlin Alexandra
After many years in AA, I've learned something with full impact. That is that I'm incapable of sublime relationships (what I want) if a pre-existing sublime relationship with The Power Within me has not become vital and viable. In other words, each and every relationship depends on the one-and-only relationship which empowers me in a way that is both human and way-beyond human. It is just as you said: I had to go through all Twelve Steps in order to find me through The Power Within me whereby all things are made not only possible but immediately available. Thus, I am now capable of forming and sustaining relationships as opposed to deforming and losing them. Alcohol led me to AA. AA led me to The Twelve Steps as delivered through The Big Book. Incorporating The Steps into my life until they became my life led me to The Source of my life and the ultimate Source of my relationships - here and now. Long ago I was told that my relationships would become a labaratory for my sobriety. Far more importantly, they have become a measure of my awakened spirit and the love within my spirit. Within me for the explicit purpose of being given away.
ReplyDeleteMichael can't give away that which you don't have. The love that is infused in us through a personal relationship with God is the same love that is given to others in each and every interaction. Incorporating the Twelve Steps into our lives brings us into relationship with the Lord. There we are safe and protected regardless of what is going on around us. That security relaxes us and brings us to a sense of peace. In that state it is easy to love others even though they may be flawed...Thank you...Armand
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