In Chapter 2 of Alcoholics Anonymous titled "There Is A Solution" it is stated, "These observations would be academic and pointless if our friend never took the first drink, thereby setting the terrible cycle in motion. Therefore, the main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind, rather than in his body." So, although it is true that an alcoholic has a physical allergy it is the mental obsession which is of the utmost importance - a mental obsession that does not limit itself to alcohol.
Alcoholism is a unique disease in that it is two-fold (as are most addictions in their nature). We have a physical allergy which ensures us that each and every time we put alcohol or substances of any addictive nature into our system we get sick and we get drunk or we have the rush we chase after until we get into all kinds of trouble. But of even more importance is that we have this mental obsession, which ensures that even though we don't want to drink and/or use, sooner or later our minds will tell us it's okay to do so. We will put the alcohol or the substance into our system thereby triggering the physical allergy and we will get loaded once again.
Dr. Silkworth, the medical benefactor of Alcoholics Anonymous, in the letter he supplied to AA suggests that the thought processes of the alcoholic mind had to be transformed. His letter goes on to state that this transformation of thought must occur and is essential if an alcoholic is to recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. In Bill's story he says, "Simple, but not easy, a price had to be paid. It meant destruction of self centeredness. I must turn in all things to the Father of Light who presides over us all" - a clear description of the transformation which must occur.
This transformation of thought was difficult for me, even though I understood that it must occur. The difficulty was that I had no understanding of the power and pervasiveness of my human nature and how all-encompassing it is. I felt a lot of fear in attempting to let go of my mind which was propelled by my human instinct as it was all that I had ever known. But it is here, in this time and at this moment, when I want to let go and know I need to let go. It is here in this moment now that I must trust in God so that through His grace the transformation of thought may happen.
Written by Armand
I believe this to be an almost literal process that, for me, was only possible by integrating The Twelve Steps into my life. In doing that, I came to know The Power Within me, and through That Power, my will which is my thinking, and my life which is my behavior, began to take on a new and different form. It's as if the very structure of my life has been deconstructed and then reconstructed by the process of Recovery precisely explained in The Big Book. Since words are inadequate to further amplify this change, I can only offer that it is how I feel, the way I feel, the things I feel that reveal the depth of this change of form, or transformation. And it is not my power that powered the transformer. It is The Power Within me that has enabled the transformation - the perfect word to define how I feel. The miracle is that, for the first time, I feel myself. Not like myself but myself-in-a-different form. A new me, one that has been transformed into an image and likeness of perfection.
ReplyDeleteMichael holiday weekend after a long busy week...Thank you...Armand
ReplyDeleteArmand,
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for touching on a state of being which is so often misunderstood, then tragically twisted into a reformulated metaphorical pilgrimage that will never bring us into the "promised land of sobriety." If I might, I would share the following regarding "the benign little Dr. who loved drunks," Dr. William Duncan Silkworth and whom he believed the "Father of Light" and the "Devine Physician" to be as related and published by Dick B. many years ago.
"Shortly before his death, the author spent an hour with Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, friend of A.A., the Rev. Sam Shoemaker, and Bill Wilson. Dr. Peale told me of the conversations he had with Bill Wilson about Bill's conversion. However, until 1997, I had never heard the following account by Peale about Dr. William Duncan Silkworth. It can be found in Norman Vincent Peale, The Positive Power of Jesus Christ (New York: Foundation for Christian Living, 1980), pp. 60-61. It appears under the title "The Wonderful Story of Charles K.":
Charles, a businessman in Virginia, had become a full-fledged alcoholic; so much so that he had to have help, and fast, for his life was cracking up. He made an appointment with the late Dr. William Duncan Silkworth, one of the nation's greatest experts on alcoholism, who worked in a New York City hospital [the Charles Towns Hospital]. Receiving Charles into his clinic as a patient, the doctor gave him treatment for some days, then called him into his office. "Charles," he said, "I have done everything I can for you. At this moment you are free of your trouble. But there is an area in your brain where you may hold a reservation and that could, in all likelihood, cause you to return to your drinking. I wish that I might reach this place in your consciousness, but alas, I do not have the skill."
"But, doctor," exclaimed Charles, "you are the most skilled physician in this field. When I came to you it was to the greatest. If you cannot heal me, then who can possibly do so?" The doctor hesitated, then said thoughtfully, "There is another Doctor who can complete this healing, but He is very expensive."
"That's all right," cried Charles, "I can get the money. I can pay his fees. I cannot go home until I am healed. Who is this doctor and where is he?"
"Oh, but this Physician is not at all moderate as to expense," persisted Dr. Silkworth. "He wants everything you've got. He wants you, all of you. Then He gives the healing. His price is your entire self." Then he added slowly and impressively, "His name is Jesus Christ and He keeps office in the New Testament and is available whenever you need Him."
Dr. Peale then describes the healing of Charles through the power of Jesus Christ." It was through the 12 Steps of AA, the testimony of the founders and the undeniable power of Jesus Christ that this gratefully recovering alcoholic has found all of the above so written to be absolutely true.
God Bless,
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic As I said to Michael "a holiday weekend after a long and busy week."...Thank you...Armand
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