Thereafter having admitted that I was alcoholic I soon found out that alcohol in and of itself was not my problem, but was the manifestation of my problem. The true problem was self-centered fear - afraid that I was not going to get what I want and afraid that I was going to lose what I had.In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous it says, "When dealing with the fear problem, or any other problem, perhaps there is a better way as we are now on a different basis, the basis of trusting and relying upon God. We trust infinite God rather than finite self. We are in the world to play the role God assigns. Just to the extent we do as we think God would have us do and humbly rely on God, does God enable us to match calamity with serenity. We never apologize to anyone for depending on our creator. We can laugh at those who think spirituality is the way of weakness. The verdict of the ages is that faith means courage. All possessors of faith have courage. They trust their God. We let God demonstrate through us what God can do. We ask God to remove our fear and direct our attention to what we should be doing. At once, we commence to outgrow fear."
The integration of the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous into our lives leads to a personal relationship with God. Prior to that occurring, fear haunted all of our being, was in all of our moments, driving all of our decisions in an attempt to satiate our instincts. We were afraid that we were not going to get what we wanted and afraid that we were going to lose what we had. Today, in this moment, that can change. That will change for all of us if we are in alignment with God's will for us. We will then know a peace we have never before experienced.
Written by Armand
Edited by Caitlin Alexandra
My biggest fear came from thinking that I was somehow godless. That there was nowhere to feel safe, that I was defective at the deepest level, that where God and Heaven existed was a place I'd never know. I was an outcast in a God world of God people. What happened to me - that was my eternal question. In the absence of an answer, I drank for oblivion, missing it only by nanoseconds. "Why not try your own conception of God" gave me my first-ever breath of spiritual air I'd ever experienced. I wanted more, and I got it. The fear began to subside, simply because the notion of relating to my own conception of a Higher Power meant new hope, new possibility, and through The Twelve Steps, a new and profound energy. One at a time, I began to incorporate each Step into my daily living. As a direct result, the biggest relationship I've ever known began to develop. That unsuspected inner resource has now become the strongest part of me. This Resource is, in fact, The Power Within me in whose love and partnership I trust. That trust is far stronger than fear, and presents limitless options unlike the life of bondage I was living. My will - fear. His will - freedom. That's just the way it is.
ReplyDeleteMichael thank you so much for sharing your experience wioth the concept of "your own conception of God." Powerful...Thanks...Armand
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