I found that in compiling my Fourth
Step resentment
list, the best way to cope with resentments were to first pray for and forgive
those on my list. In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous in the
chapter "How It Works" it states, "...we realize that the people who had
wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick. Though we did not like their
symptoms and the way they disturbed us they, like ourselves, were sick
too. We ask God to help us grant them the same tolerance, pity and
patience we would grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said
to ourselves, 'Perhaps this is a sick person, how can I be helpful to
them? God save me from being angry, Thy will be done.' God will show us
how to take a kind and tolerant view of each and everyone." As we draw
closer to God this begins to happen naturally.
As an alcoholic we find that resentment is the number one offender to a serene and peaceful life. If
we are to have a clear state of consciousness that is free of
conflict; if we are to lead an alcohol-free life, a life where
resentment is not causing conflict in our mind and therefore not
manifested in our behavior, then we must let go of our human resentments. There is often no way possible to do this without the help of God.
Letting go of resentments and not creating new ones is a matter determined by choosing to live a higher version of me. For me, that was made possible only by becoming aware of the great love of The Power Within me for me, and my desire to live in that love. It doesn't matter whether the person, place or thing causing the resentment is real or not, justified of not, sick or not. I simply don't want to live my life carrying the burden of bad feeling. To me, that is ultimate ignorance, as to do so is to ignore the Spirit Within me. In order to recover from the bondage of self, I have to offer myself, all of me, to The Greater Power Within me and live by the principles clearly outlined in The Twelve Steps. Anything else is an exercise in wiggle room which, for me, is the hiding place for a resentment waiting to happen. And of the fear, disturbance and sorrow which will surely follow.
ReplyDeleteMichael In the Twelve And Twelve it says and this is paraphrased, if we can receive a perfect release from our obsession to drink why not apply the same solution to every other problem in our life. You so clearly stated the solution when you wrote "In order to recover from the bondage of self, I have to offer myself, all of me, to the Greater Power within me and to live by the principles clearly outlined in the Twelve Steps."...Thank you...Armand
ReplyDeleteI had a guard up against the world and against all of its inhabitants and plights. This guard was strong and kept me safe in my own, self-created and blunderous world in which I was unhappy, alone, lonely and terrified - but somehow strangely comfortable with the insanity. Having even a simple conversation was impossible without being defensive, even if silently so. Sustaining, let alone creating, relationships was a task unperformable within my emotionally triggered, self-made safe-prison. My life was a heart-wrenching one to observe and to be a part of - I heaved all my bitterness and irritation, my envy and my dissatisfaction around like a whip on myself and those who came close. How grateful I am now for where I am - far, far away from where I was.
ReplyDeleteI came to where I am now (plotting along my map as a continuously moving pin) because I let go. I let go of the monster I THOUGHT I had become, of what disappointments I THOUGHT should consume my mind and my time, of those that had harmed me who I THOUGHT had ruined me for good. I wouldn’t be HERE in the NOW if I hadn’t relinquished control over me and over EVERY SINGLE THING. I gave it all to God. I gave everything to Him so I could be here - with you and with my family, with Him and with the ever-growing and filling Spiritual connectivity to what is Highest and what is Love.
Caitlin loved when you wrote "I gave everything to Him so I could be here - with you and with my family, with him and with the ever-growing and filling spiritual connectivity to what is highest and what is love." In the rooms of AA one often hears 'let go and let God." The "let go' is surrendering our human nature and the "let God' is placing our desires under the will of God. live there and an alcoholic will not drink nor manifest their character defects in their behavior...Thank you...Armand
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