In Chapter 4 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous it says, "...we had to fearlessly face the proposition that God
is everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or He isn't. What was our
choice to be?" When I came to the very point in my recovery where I had no
desire to turn back to my old life but I was fearful of letting go
of my nature (and living in the will of God), the above statement had to be answered. I may have answered in
the affirmative earlier in my recovery but it wasn't until that precise moment that I fully
understood what was being asked of me - or rather, required of me.
If we are to recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind
and body; if we are to be free of manifesting our human defects in our
behavior; if we are to
live a life where we are tolerant and loving of all but never accepting
of
evil, if we are to live a life free from fear, anxiety and anger, if we
are to be respected
and loved and posses the spirit of charity forgiveness and joy - not
because everything in life is as our human nature thinks it ought to
be but because God is with us. Joy is not the absence of sorrow but the
presence of God.
For the first time in my life I had
become fully alive as the Spirit was fully awakened within me. I became
and am the human being that God created me to be, maximizing my
human potential, free of conflict, and at peace.
I am aware of what is required of me, and I have answered "Yes, God is everything." What will your answer be?
It is so difficult for my human mind to know that its highest state of being is peace. My mind has forever been serviced by my will which in an alcoholic will ultimately "run riot," causing all forms of acrimony and self-loathing. My untreated, unrecovered mind and will have the power to destroy me through daily unhappiness and prolonged internal conflict - even if I "look good" and accomplish certain material achievements. In the final analysis, the question is not what do I think, it's how do I feel. In the Big Book, we learn of the need for a psychic change, for a vital spiritual experience. For me, this was possible only through incorporating The Twelve Steps into my life which, in turn, led me to The Power Within me. The choice wasn't initially as easy as yes or no. I simply didn't know The Power or where it existed. Today I feel The Power Within me. The question no longer exists.
ReplyDeleteMichael to become the human being that God created us to be is the purpose of the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. Integrating such into our life in such a way that it becomes our life can only bring us to a state of peace regardless of what is going on about us...Thank you...Armand
ReplyDeleteThis comment is from A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic
ReplyDeleteFounding member Roland Hazard, having been told there is no earthly treatment that will effect a cure to his alcoholism desperately asks his treating physician "Is there no exception? Yes, replied the doctor, there is. Exceptions to cases such as yours have been occurring since early times. Here and there, once in a while alcoholics have had what are called vital spiritual experiences".
The Steps have revealed that this ancient "vital spiritual experience" begins with the final realization that the call
by God to turn away from my present condition and turn to Him began at the very moment of conception, and from that time on has never ceased. It was I that decided to cast His loving whisper into the "white noise" of a misspent life. It was I that now must accept His whisper as the clarion call of life.
It was of little matter at that time whether I seemed to posses all the worlds riches or was utterly dispossessed. Once this portion of His process and person was experienced, I discover that I no longer fear the loss of the life once lived or desperate dread of the future for it has been cast, like so much refuse, into the garbage pail of sinful actions and perverse dreams, forgiven and forgotten by the Creator of all.
An inexplicable shift in paradigm has occurred, the animal appetites need no longer be sated, my fleshly desires have lost their allure, the obsession has been removed. In its place grows an all consuming desire to drink at the Masters well. Life on life's terms becomes a joy filled adventure as I engage in frequent visits at the mercy seat of the One who refines me in the fire of His love. It is a miracle, as a new and unspeakably holy freedom is experienced and explored, the old life has passed away, a new life begun.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic You articulated so well in your personal experience with your human nature and with your spiritual nature a paradigm had occurred - in that your behavior no longer manifested your character defects as the obsession had been lifted. You wrote"The old life passed away, a new life begun."...Thank you...Armand
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