Monday, October 26, 2015

Motivation To Complete Step Nine

    The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous says, "We have a list of all persons we have harmed and to whom we are willing to make amends.  Now we go out to our fellows and repair the damage done in our past.  We attempt to sweep away the debris that has accumulated out of our effort to live on self will and run the show ourselves.  If we haven't the will to do so , we ask until it comes (a ninth step prayer).   Remember, it was agreed upon at the beginning that we would go to any lengths for victory over alcohol."   It was difficult for me to find the person to share my Fourth Step with and to share the exact nature of my wrongs with God.  However, I did, and in doing so I found a sense of relief through the power of  forgiveness.  Now, here I am at Step Nine of the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and it is somewhat daunting, yet easier, as I now have the experience of God on my side.   The Fifth Step brought a sense of relief - the beginning of a serene life. For the first time since I was a small boy I felt the presence of God in my life.  I knew then that sobriety by itself was not enough, that I desired to be recovered. I knew that the solution was and is a vital spiritual experience and having a relationship with God in whom I trust. I therefore had plenty of motivation and desire to adopt the humility necessary to make amends to the people I had harmed - Step Nine.
          I learned through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous not to consider any harm that had been done to me. Besides, it was much easier to do so at that point as I was praying for and forgiving those on my list.  In the Big Book it states, "Under no condition do we criticize such a person or argue.  Simply we tell them that we will never get over our drinking until we do our utmost to straighten out the past.  We are there to sweep off our side of the street realizing that nothing worthwhile can be accomplished until we do so, never trying to tell them what they must do."
          This is how I approached the Ninth Step.  I began with my immediate family. Life is funny. Things don't always occur in what is perceived and assumed as the proper sequence.  My father had passed before I had any consciousness that I owed him an amends.  I went to his grave and grieved over his death and our life together.   My mother was having serious cognitive problems and, although I was able to make a verbal amends to her, the amends came as she was sinking deeper into her illness and when I was actually able to care for her.  My sister, who was shocked in my attempt to make amends to her, could only say, "Really? Really?!"  And on it went.  To those I could not see and to those that did not want to see me I sent a sincere and complete letter and prayed for the best for them.  It did become easier as I moved through the list.
          In the Fifth Step I began to feel serenity and now with the tasks of the Ninth Step complete, I had extricated myself, through the grace of God, from the past - I was free, maybe for the first time in my entire life

4 comments:

  1. Alcohol abuse and addiction were the results of a severely fractured relationship with myself and no relationship with A Power Greater than myself. Thus, all of my actions and the consequences of those actions, including my relationships, were damaged. In short, I lived a damaged, damning life for which alcohol was an immediate rescuer but an eventual destroyer. I depended on alcohol in order to function in the flawed way I called living. Through the Twelve Steps done in order, and through the guidance of a sponsor who understood the necessity of sequential action as the modality for Recovery, I was able to identify, confront and clean up the inner debris of my fear-based, trustless life. From that point forward, I was properly positioned to make meaningful amends due to the efficacy of the prior eight Steps. In that guided process, my motivation was transformed from self-seeking to self-searching, from selfish to honestly-directed, from meaningless to meaningful. The Gifts of AA, I have found, are the offspring of assiduous effort and honest desire to live as the person I was born to be. As a free man walking through life unalone.

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  2. Michael The good Lord says "don't even bother to come see me until you have reconciled with those around you." It is precisely why Step Nine comes before Step Eleven. The Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous is about sobriety and relationships as pou can't really have one without the other...Thank you...Armand

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  3. This Is From A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic

    Armand,


    To finally begin to fully experience the pain of past betrayals as felt in the hearts of those whom I had victimized is the touchstone to this Divinely inspired Step and the key to the incredible gift of reconciliation, that is, the privilege of being a partaker in the ministry of healing that God desires to provide others as He seeks to heal the last scars that I, in every malignant past encounter, had carved into the fragile spirits of untold lives.

    Those who were near, gradually experienced refreshment after a sincere confession and a newly consistent display of love, value and respect for their unique personhood. Others, He placed on my heart in prayerful preparation as He miraculously set the stage that brought us together. This is truly a journey that need not take a lifetime to complete but nevertheless need never be rushed for, If done in the wrong spirit, I have discovered it can become the greatest single impediment to the freedom and healing power contained in Step 10...

    A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic

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    1. A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic Praying for and forgiving those in our Fourth Step list that became part of our Ninth Step amends prepares us to bring the Spirit with us. An amends made with forgiveness and love is complete on our part whether accepted or not. We have done our part..Thank you...Armand

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