Today I was reminded of the work of Dr. Tiebout, a pioneering figure
in the treatment of alcoholism. He ran a rehab named Blythwood. He
knew "that the characteristics of the so called typical alcoholic are a
narcissistic, egocentric core dominated by feelings of omnipotence,
intent in maintaining at all costs its inner integrity." In a careful
study of a series of cases regarding the alcoholic by Sillman, Dr.
Tiebout reported that Sillman felt he could discern the outlines of a
common character structure among problem drinkers and that the best term
he could find for the group of qualities was "defiant individuality and
grandiosity." Tiebout concurs with Sillman and states "inwardly the
alcoholic brooks no control from God or man. The alcoholic is and must
be the master of their destiny." Tiebout continues "granted that more
or less constant presence of these character traits, it is easy to see
how the person possessing them has difficulty in accepting spirituality
and God. Spirituality by its demand that the individual acknowledge the
presence of God changes the very nature of the alcoholic. So, if the
alcoholic can use the spiritual tools of recovery and accept the concept
of the presence of a power greater than themselves, then he or she by
that very step modifies presently and possibly permanently his or her
deepest inner structure and when done so without resentment or struggle
then they are no longer typically alcoholic."
In
my own experience with the disease of alcoholism believe in God in and
of itself is not enough, as I always believed in God. That believe must
also carry with it the component of trusting in God to the point of
making a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God. I
would also like to add, today is all I have contingent upon my
relationship with God in this day and in this moment.
Having grown up in a family where religion was of high importance, I never felt what I thought I was supposed to feel. My self-will was my core functionary as I was all I had. I, thus, became a living embodiment of ego and fear. Long before the first gin and tonic, my life was punctuated by defiance and grandiosity as I insisted that you accept me though I was unacceptable to myself. The only relationship I had was with myself and I knew there was something deeply wrong inside me. Alcohol entered this grim picture and ultimately drove me to my knees where I found AA. For the first time, I asked for help and began to trust that there was something that could be added to my life but only by giving up drinking as the first step in completely letting go of me. Through The Twelve Steps, I gradually began to believe in and trust a Power Within me that became the Source of recovery from my hopeless state of mind and body. I believe that the primary characteristics of a recovered alcoholic are trust and love - a far cry from defiance and grandiosity. As I understand it, this is what is meant by the word transformation.
ReplyDeleteMichael Great line "the primary characteristics of a RECOVERED alcoholic are trust and love - a far cry from defiance and grandiosity," For me developing a personal relationship with God has stripped me of my fear in all areas of my life and completely relaxed me . No longer a need to be on red alert trying not to lose what I have or worried about not getting what I would like. Just a great life...Thank you...Armand
ReplyDeleteArmand you are a beacon to those of us your light reaches. Thank you for your always-honest sentiments and educational essays.
ReplyDeleteComment on today's blog: I see these characteristics in my "prior" self when I look back upon my life. I was my own biggest deceiver. My life was lived thinking I had the control and navigational competence of every part of the course, and even everyone it encompassed. Of course, that is the epitome of self reliance - where only fear of losing everything I thought I controlled so righteously did nothing but breathe fire into my empty soul. Depending on no one and nothing, except my loveless and and unwilling defiance to look outside myself to find myself, had me at the helm of my own lonely and ever-doomed ship. By praying each day a vow to Him to trust and believe that He has me in his care and can and always will carry me under His wing, I am not reaching in for answers but opening the depths of WITHIN to receive His. Guidance and love come as easily as the wind when serenity and peace are of your mind. Take care of your life simply by handing it over. Love to all, Caitlin.
Caitlin By incorporating the program of Alcoholics Anonymous into are life in such a way that it becomes our life we are led from the demands of self centeredness to a life of love and giving. So much enjoyed you writing "Giudance and love come easily as the wind when serenity and peace are of your mind." A direct result of a personal relationship with God in this time and in this moment...Thank you for your comment in the beginning of your remarks...Armand
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