I learned in Alcoholics Anonymous that I have three basic
instincts, a social, sexual and security instinct. These instincts are
God given and necessary for life but in me I can never get enough of
what it is I think I need. The great psychiatrist Sigmund Freud defines
an instinct as a bodily need manifested in our thought process. So
what occurs for us as alcoholics is our instincts manifest themselves
in our thought process and triggers our self centered fear. I learned
in Alcoholics Anonymous that alcohol is but a symptom of our true
malady. Our true malady is self centered fear, afraid that we are not
going to get what we want, afraid that we are going to lose what we
have. Once our fear is triggered we reach for our character defects in
an attempt to satiate our instincts. But in us we can never get enough
of what it is we think we need. Then we run around chasing our tail
creating havoc in our lives but more importantly havoc in the lives of
everyone around us. This is THE FUNCTIONING PIECE OF ALCOHOLISM.
The solution to the problem of alcoholism is a vital
spiritual experience, as we must give life to our relationship with
God. How? By letting go of our human nature so that our thought process
is no longer propelled by our instincts but rather by the will of God
through inspiration,
I love AA, have attended over 10,000 meetings and continue to go due to AA's essential environment of love. But I need The Big Book and The Program of Recovery as reflected and condensed in The Ladder. Here's why: regardless of how often I read The Big Book, it addresses my growing spirit in a new and different way each and every time. The Big Book inspires me far more than the greatest speaker because it was written for me by The Power Within me. It has no effect on my mind, thus enabling me to live a functioning life of peace as opposed to the torturous life I led which demanded booze to tolerate it. My belief is that living and growing in understanding and effectiveness, aligned with The Steps-in-
ReplyDeleteorder is the way of life for me. I am grateful for today's post to remind me of that and to touch me in such a deep manner.
Michael In Alcoholics Anonymous there is a fellowship which serves the purpose of providing support which can be of value to the newcomer, unfortunately the fellowship is not the solution for our alcoholism. One may not drink but without incorporating the program of Alcoholics Anonymous into their life in such a way that it becomes their life - one cannot recover from the root cause of their alcoholism which is self centered fear. The program teaches us that alcohol is but a symptom of our true malady, our true malady is self centered fear, afraid we are not going to get what we want, afraid that we will lose what we have. As you say so well "thus enabling us to live a functioning life of peace as opposed to the tortuous life we led which demanded booze to tolerate it."...Thank you...Armand
ReplyDeleteIt's like going in circles - your mind convinced that therein only exists your own thoughts conceived only by you. Whilst living in and never beyond my human nature I was a monster. Every problem, every argument, every predicament both catastrophic and trivial were all produced by my monstrous attitude of "I am the reason so I am the answer". My barely existent self-esteem still somehow fueled the thought that I could keep on living propelling my will like it was actually in working condition. But I was so broken, so ugly inside and I KNEW it. I denied that I needed help. I denied that change was even possible because that would mean having faith. My behavior was run on fumes from a rioting ego. It wasn't until I became CONVINCED that The Solution could restore me to my "real" self under His care - a self I surely thought was lost in the abyss of unworthy things never allowed to be unearthed. This Solution is an experience I have been blessed to receive throughout and over a course of time, predetermined by Him, and in which I trust is what will keep me afloat. I don't want to feel like I'm drowning anymore. I don't want the hole I'm filling to drain - so I pray I continue to be inspired and I pray even harder I can inspire someone still lost in the shadowy quake. Love to all, Caitlin
ReplyDeleteCaitlin thank you so much for sharing your personal experience with the problem and the solution. Our thought process can no longer be propelled by our human instinct but rather by the will of God received through inspiration... Armand
ReplyDeleteThis comment is from a Grateful Recovering Alcoholic
ReplyDeleteYes, I lived out that hyper exaggerated delusional belief in my own importance. I justified every unrestrained journey into my God given appetites with unholy zeal. I deliberately left God out of the equation. I was a bottomless layer of gilt and shame terrified by the ever-present fear of having my true self discovered and inner "daemons" exposed. There was... no good in me to be found. To be honest, there was no me at all. Just a self created caricature, a mere bundle of personas alternately exercised to gain acceptance and ultimate possession of the person, place or thing I craved.
Yet, the effects of God's presence were everywhere and all about me. In overheard conversations, the random kindness of a stranger, witnessed displays of true love and affection, a baby's furtive glance. That was the life I craved in fleeting moments of sanity.
It was the impossible desire of becoming a part of that world that finally drove me to my knees and the Ultimate Author of that vision. I finally began to apprehend the radical change encountered in "How it Works." I asked for His protection and care with complete abandon and as I laid that wretched life before Him all the accumulated gilt and shame of 37 years fled into infinity... And miraculously, in its place, now resides the very Holy Spirit of God. The memory of that first encounter is as fresh in my mind as it was some 28 years ago. Today, I'm strangely thankful I discovered alcohol and the inevitable misery it brings. Without it, I would never have walked through the doors and into the fellowship of AA. I would have never encountered the Steps that lead to the "Peace of God that surpasses all understanding." (Philippians 4:7) I would never have come to know my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. And my beloved brother, neither would you.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic
A Grateful Recovering Alcoholic In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous it says "we were beaten into a state of reasonableness." Yes, to seek a power greater than ourselves in order to flee a life which caused so much pain to ourselves and to everyone around us. Through His grace delivered to us through the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous we can live a life of usefulness and peace and be a Blessing to those about us...Thank you for sharing your experience which has been a Blessing to me...Armand
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