In the chapter "There Is A Solution" in the Big Book of Alcoholics
Anonymous it states "observations would be academic and pointless if our
friend never took the first drink thereby setting the terrible cycle in
motion. Therefore the main problem with the alcoholic centers in the
mind rather than in the body. So although it is true that an alcoholic
has a physical allergy, of more importance is the mental obsession."
Alcoholism is a unique disease in that it is two fold. I
have a physical allergy which ensures that each and every time I put
alcohol into my system, I'll get sick, I'll get drunk, I'll get into all
kinds of trouble. But of even more importance I have a mental
obsession which ensures that even though I don't want to drink, sooner
or later my mind will tell me it's ok, I'll put the alcohol into my
system I'll trigger the physical allergy and I'll get drunk again.
Dr. Silkworth, the medical benefactor of Alcoholics Anonymous in the
letter he supplied to AA suggests that the thought processes of the
alcoholic mind have to be TRANSFORMED. The letter goes on to state that
this TRANSFORMATION of thought must occur and is essential if an
alcoholic is to recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and
body. In Bill's story he says "simple but not easy, a price had to
be paid. It meant destruction of self centeredness as we must turn to
the Father of Light who presides over us all." A clear description of
the TRANSFORMATION of thought that must occur.
This TRANSFORMATION of thought was difficult for me even though I
understood that it must occur. The difficulty was that initially I had
no understanding of the power and pervasiveness of my human nature and
how all encompassing it is. I felt a lot of fear in attempting to let
go of my mind which was propelled by my human instinct as it was all that I had
ever known. But it is here, in this time and at this moment, when I want
to let go and know I need to let go that I must trust in God so that
through the grace of Him the TRANSFORMATION of thought may occur.
Nothing was more powerful than the first drink. It immediately activated an "off" switch in my mind and body. I was off to the races, off the clock, off my rocker. And my body craved the next drink and the next and the next to oblivion. Nothing good ever happened until I drained the last glass and surrendered. In AA and through incorporating The Twelve Steps into my life, slowly the switch inside me was activated to "on." I began to sense the presence of something within me more powerful than the compulsion to drink. That change was something I didn't understand at first, I just knew it was the right way - that my life could, in actuality, could go from "off" to "on." That, for me, is transformation on its most basic level. I had to abandon my mind and turn to The Light. The Great Reality is that The Light had always been deep down inside me. It took ultimate pain to lead me to a place of ultimate peace - if I am living The Light.
ReplyDeleteMichael the transformation of thought was simply written by you"from off to on." As Bill says "simple but not easy we had to turn to the light in all things." The transformation of thought is the difference between an alcoholic in recovery and a recovered alcoholic. Both may not drink but the recovered alcoholic who is experiencing the transformation of thought in their present consciousness cannot possibly manifest their human character defects in their behavior...Thank you...Armand
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