Alcoholics Anonymous, what a ride! Early on I heard, "I wouldn't trade my worst day in AA for my best day when I was out there." I was skeptical of these proclamations, but the sincerity of those members' claims could not be questioned, as those people were just like me in that they suffered from an illness (yet they no longer had the struggle). More importantly they seemed to be living enjoyable and fulfilling lives. I discovered the similar characteristics of openness and a willingness to give among many of them as they seemed to have found a purpose beyond themselves in Alcoholics Anonymous and needed to disclose the full truth of themselves in order to grow in their purpose. Now please understand, all of the above was difficult for me to accept because I came from an environment and a lifestyle where cynicism and skepticism were king and queen. The only purpose I had in life was to satiate my instincts and my own selfish desires.I learned in Alcoholics Anonymous that alcohol is only a symptom of my true malady - self centered fear: afraid that I am not going to get what I want, afraid that I am going to lose what I have. This fear propels us in our efforts to satiate our instincts and to provide for and meet the demands of our own selfish desires. Integrating the program of Alcoholics Anonymous into our lives in such a way that it becomes our life takes us out of ourselves thence we are given the power to help others. That we become capable of putting others' needs before our own is a direct result of the healing that occurs for us - this is a miracle. We know when we have extracted a purpose (helping others who are just like us to recover from their alcoholism) from our problem we are indeed fulfilling A PURPOSE BEYOND OURSELVES.
Written by Armand
Without question, I know today that my purpose must go far beyond myself if I am to continue to know and taste the fruits of the spirit. This "lack of anchorage to any permanent values, this blindness to the true purpose of our lives" produced only more self-centeredness and, therefore, more fear in my life, even in my early sobriety. Over time, by integrating all Twelve Steps into my life, my thinking became less thinking and my feeling became more feeling. The more I gave of whatever I was learning, the more enriched my life seemed to grow. The program of recovery has provided me with the limitless opportunity to touch the gold within myself, and to extract it through The Power Within me. From there, I know that my purpose must then be to give the entire lode away. A purpose deep within myself and far beyond myself.
ReplyDeleteMichael helping others in any area of our life is a key to recovery...Thank you...Armand
Delete"With God all thI'llngs are possible." - Matthew 19:26
ReplyDeleteWithout God as the center of my life, I lived in a "zero sum world". If I was to win, some else had to lose. If I was going to lose, than it meant someone else was winning at my expense. What a terrible place that is! Who to trust? Who is for me, and who is against me? It was an either-or world.
With God as the center of my life, I live in an "either-and" world. People and relationships are the focus. I see the things I have in common before I notice the things that are different. I can accept differences in solutions that are more give and take. These are only possible when I live in the will of God. My human nature that promotes fear is overwhelmed by my spiritual nature that promotes trust because of my relationship with God. Whatever the outcome, knowing I have the Creator in my corner allows me to know I will be OK.
Jim a life in the willof God cannot exist without helping others...Thank you...Armand
Delete11. "Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out." Every step is in the order it is for a reason and Step 11 is no exception. All are written in the past perfect tense in the form of a testimony and as such forms a collective a deposition and map of a journey on the road less traveled with a simple clarity seldom encountered in secular writings.
ReplyDeleteFor in AA we do not "work" Step 11 as though it were a point on the great "check list to recovery" as some may suppose or propose. The journey itself is the destination inspired and ultimately, through Gods grace, fervently desired. It is; in its entirety, God's gift to everyone who is willing to embrace the immutable truth of His Word and undeniable Presence of His Person the moment "We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him."
This "Fruit of the Spirit" is a never ending story and manifestation of the divinely desired relationship, once locked in eternity and now inspired into our consciousness moment by moment, day by day as we pass through this life called space and time. And although it was always a part of His great plan I know now that my personal epiphany began the instant I "Admitted I was an alcoholic and that my life had become unmanageable" and that, as the poet has written, "has made all the difference", for I am convinced that the Creator of All continues to lovingly conform every aspect of life into His personal prayer and vision.
12. "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs". As the old desires are being systematically swept away, I'm compelled to inwardly nurture and surrender to this ongoing and ever broadening relationship with the Creator, Maintainer and Lover of my soul. I have, become a new creation.
Just as the 11th step bears witness to my understanding that it is God Alone who is the instigation and inspiration for my desire to commune with and please Him in all that He has called me to accomplish, any personal confusion over the principal priority for my life dissolves as His ultimate plan and purpose is made immediately clear in the very core of my being. Having once and forever been saved we're now, in Step 12, called to be an "evangelist", that is, a witness to the Source of Eternal Truth who has finally and effectively, set us free...
And so, as this once desperately lived life begins to bear the unmistakable witness of Gods presence in the purpose for which I have eternally been created. The Holy Spirit who now resides within me is the magnet of promise that draws those still trapped inside the insatiable, desperate loneliness of a life without hope, to the Source of eternal serenity, peace and rest. "That one is God, may you find him now".
A Grateful Recovering Alcoholic