In the Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous in the chapter "How It Works" it states, "The first requirement (in taking the Third Step) is that we be convinced that any life run on self will can hardly be a success. Remember that we deal with alcohol - cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power - that One is God. May you find Him now!" It also says "Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles... So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making...and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness... And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid."
We have learned through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous that we have three basic instincts. These instincts are God given and necessary for life, but in me I can never get enough of what it is I think I need. The great psychiatrist Sigmund Freud defines an instinct as "a bodily need manifested in our thought process." What occurs for us as an alcoholic is our instincts manifest themselves in our thought process and trigger our self-centered fear. We learned through the program that alcohol is but a symptom of OUR TRUE MALADY. Any addiction is such. OUR TRUE MALADY is self-centered fear: afraid that we are not going to get what we want, afraid that we will lose what we have. Once our fear is triggered we reach for our character defects in an attempt to satiate our instincts. The only problem is that in us we can never get enough of what it is that we think we need, then we run around chasing our tails creating havoc in our lives - but more importantly, havoc in the lives of everyone around us. This is the functioning piece of alcoholism.
As an alcoholic we have a compulsive need to defend our basic human instincts, often to an extreme. This manifestation of our character defects is a result of our self-centered fear that permeates our lives. Alcohol is but a symptom of OUR TRUE MALADY. OUR TRUE MALADY is SELF-CENTERED FEAR.
This is a vital acknowledgement for any alcoholic to accept and understand. Everything in my life was "too" much. Too much alcohol, too many lies, too many excuses, too many broken promises, too much of you, too little of me, far too much fear. Alcohol made me fearless which is why it felt so good. It worked on the most sensitive part of me - my fear - and gave me both relief from fear and more of it concurrently. I desperately needed more of what was killing me. All of this occurred within my human nature, and was directed by my mind. Through The Big Book program of recovery, I found The Twelve Steps that lead me to The Fearless Power Within me who awakened me to my deeper nature where fear is replaced by trust, and where my energy is directed to others and away from me. In the final analysis, my true malady was me - too much me. The Power Within is never too much, never too little. Living in His Will is living without fear, living, instead, in trust.
ReplyDeleteMichael If an alcoholic is to recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body than that alcoholic must trust in God...Thanks so much...Armand
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