I have learned through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous that I have three basic instincts: a social, a sexual and a security instinct. These instincts are God given and necessary for life, but in me I can never get enough of what it is I think I need. The great psychiatrist Sigmund Freud defines an instinct as, "a bodily need manifested in our thought process.".
Through the twelve steps I have learned that alcohol is but a symptom of our true malady - our true malady being self-centered fear. We are afraid that we are not going to get what we want and that we are going to lose what we have. Once our fear is triggered we reach for our character defects in an attempt to satiate our instincts, but we can never get enough of what it is we think we need. We are then left running around, chasing our tails, creating havoc in our lives but, more importantly, havoc in the lives of everyone around us. This malady of self-centered fear is the functioning piece of alcoholism and any other ism.
The solution to the disease of addiction is a vital spiritual experience. We must give life to our relationship with God. How? By letting go of our human nature so our thought process is no longer propelled by our instincts, but rather by the will of God through inspiration,
Written by Armand
Edited by Caitlin Alexandra
I've learned in AA that I've suffered from a spiritual problem which only a spiritual solution can remedy. That, for me, did not mean that I was a non-believer. It meant that I was a non-feeler. I could not feel my spirit and, as a result, I was unable to feel the security my instincts should have provided. That hole in my soul led to the over-reliance on my mind as a seeker of peace and satisfaction. Instead, my mind overmanufactuted fear. I was left with self-centered fear - a mental problem, and an unawakened, under-functioning soul - a spiritual problem. So, my spirit sought solace in spirits. That is the blueprint for the way I functioned - drunk. AA, through incorporating The Twelve Steps into my daily living, treated the symptom but it also placed me face-to-face with the disease - me. To get beyond the human limitations of me, my spirit had to be vitally awakened to the limitless and infinite life I was born to live. The ever-functioning awakening of my soul to the true purpose of my life.
ReplyDeleteMichael alcohol is but a symptom. the true malady is self centered fear. The solution for that is a vital spiritual experience delivered by integrating the Twelve Steps of AA into our life in such a way that it has become our life. AA says 'if you can find another solution that is fine but this is what has worked for us."...Thank you...Armand
ReplyDeleteThis Is From A Grateful Recovering Alcoholic
ReplyDeleteYes, I lived out that hyper exaggerated delusional belief in my own importance. I justified every unrestrained journey into my God given appetites with unholy zeal and deliberately left God out of the equation. I became a bottomless layer of gilt and shame terrified by the ever-present fear of having my true self discovered and inner "daemons" exposed. There was... no good in me to be found. To be honest, there was no me at all. Just a self created caricature, a mere bundle of personas alternately exercised to gain acceptance and ultimate possession of the person, place or thing I craved.
Yet, the effects of God's presence were everywhere and all about me. In overheard conversations, the random kindness of a stranger, witnessed displays of true love and affection, a baby's furtive glance. That was the life I craved in fleeting moments of sanity.
It was the impossible desire of becoming a part of that world that finally drove me to my knees and the Ultimate Author of that vision. I finally began to apprehend the radical change encountered in "How it Works." I asked for His protection and care with complete abandon and as I laid that wretched life before Him all the accumulated gilt and shame of 37 years fled into infinity... And miraculously, in its place, now resides the very Holy Spirit of God. The memory of that first encounter is as fresh in my mind as it was some 29 years ago. Today, I'm strangely thankful I discovered alcohol and the inevitable misery it brings. Without it, I would never have walked through the doors and into the fellowship of AA. I would have never encountered the Steps that lead to the "Peace of God that surpasses all understanding." (Philippians 4:7) I would never have come to know my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. And my beloved brother, neither would you.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic
A Grateful Recovering Alcoholic As a child I had a personal relationship with God fostered by the Blessed nuns of The Immaculate Heart and by my membership in the choir of St. Monica's in South Philadelphia. The Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous gave rebirth to that personal relationship.
ReplyDeleteAll my life I suffered from self centered fear and for that fear not to be manifested in my behavior as a defect, a complete and absolute trust in God is necessary. This is a gift and can only occur through the grace of God...Thank you...Armand