Conscious Contact

         For me, the CONSCIOUS CONTACT is a personal relationship with God in this moment and at this time.  I do not look back in regret and I don't look forward in fear, as through the grace of God in this moment I have relinquished my human nature. My human instincts are no longer propelling my thought process but rather my thought process is propelled by the will of God through inspiration.
               The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous says "we may face indecision, we might not be able to determine which course to take.  Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or decision.  We are often surprised how the right answers will come after we have tried this for awhile.  What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind.  We find our thinking will be as time passes more and more on the plane of inspiration.  We come to rely upon it."  The dictionary defines inspiration as "the thoughts of God implanted upon the mind and soul of man."  I don't need to run the thoughts of God through my intellect as I instantaneously perceive them as truth.  The question becomes, will I be obedient.  Is my behavior going to be propelled by the will of God or is my behavior going to be propelled by my human instincts.  The back half of the Eleventh Step says "praying only for the knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out" as my human nature will never do the will of God.
                It is here that a recovered alcoholic lives, in the will of God through a CONSCIOUS CONTACT.

The Real Problem

What a beautiful program Alcoholics Anonymous is. Not only does it relieve our uncontrollable use of alcohol but is applicable to each and every problem in our lives.
           
We come to A A because we desire to stop drinking alcohol and are unable to do so on our own.  Alcohol severely impacts our lives, our minds, and our bodies.  We discover through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous that alcohol, of itself, is not and was not the problem - it is but a symptom of the problem.  The real problem with us as alcoholics (and addicts of any and all types) is self-centered fear. We are afraid we will not get what we want... and afraid to lose what we have.
           
When any of our human instincts are threatened we overreact until we make the decision in the Third Step of the program to turn our thoughts and our actions over to the care of God. Once we do this we are on our way to a serene and peaceful life.  The integration of the remaining steps into our lives leads us to a life in which we are praying and meditating on a daily basis.  When praying we ask only for the knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out. Remaining in that present state of mind, in the will of God, we do not drink. In God's hands all of our problems are solved.

God is the solution to the real problem. Once we are in His will we do not overreact when we think that our human instincts are threatened as we are trusting in His safety and serenity. May you find Him and his comfort now.

Skywalker: "You don't believe in the force, do you?"

Skywalker: You don't believe in the force, do you?         

Han Solo:  Kid, I've flown from one side of this galaxy to the other. I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but I've never seen anything to make me believe there's one all-powerful Force controlling everything. 

To believe, we have to trust.  Trust is the key component of belief - for Han and for all of us. When I was a teenager I broke my relationship with God. It was a relationship that had developed through the early religious training I received in Catholic grade school.  The fact that I broke my relationship with God did not change that I had always believed in God.  I believed in God even while I was living the life of an addict -- in utter pandemonium. My behaviors had nothing to do with my belief in Him.  It was my lack of trust in Him which led me astray from a relationship with Him for so long. Trust, according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, is "assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something". 

To have such certainty for the Supreme Power requires humility, exactly that which the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous gives us.  The incorporation of the steps of such a program into our lives begins the break down of our egos, so that humility (and all the many benefits from it) can seep into our lives. After some time we actually develop a hunger for it.  I have learned in my experience with the program of Alcoholics Anonymous that humility is the key which unlocks the door to the grace of God.  It is only through this grace that we remain sober and recovered from our addictions and the manifestation of our character defects.  Our egos must be deflated and our human desires subrogated to the will of God.  Belief is necessary but trust is essential.  

TRUST IS THE KEY COMPONENT OF BELIEF.     

Serenity

     Serenity is the absence of conflict in our thoughts.  We who have committed ourselves to the program (the Twelve Steps) of Alcoholics Anonymous have deemed that it is the program itself which must come first in our lives. Alongside such a commitment comes a personal relationship with a supreme power, such as God. Living by these honorable ideals ushers the blessings of serenity into the stream of our lives - no matter what transpires. 

              

              In the Alcoholics Anonymous literature, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, such a paragon way of living is elucidated:  "We are no longer frightened and purposeless.  The moment we catch even a glimpse of God's will, the moment we begin to see truth, justice and love as the real and eternal things in life, we are no longer deeply disturbed by all the seeming evidence to the contrary that surrounds us in purely human affairs.  We know that God lovingly watches over us."

             

             By integrating the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous into our lives in such a way that they become our lives, and by manifesting the principles of those steps in our behavior, we have the opportunity to have serene and invulnerable lives. Remembering that joy is not the absence of sorrow, but the presence of God … experience serenity we will.

Moral Psychology

          Featured in "The Doctors Opinion" of the "Big Book" of Alcoholics Anonymous is a letter from Dr. William D. Silkworth. Dr. Silkworth was the Medical Director of Townes Hospital in New York City, a renowned hospital in the field of alcoholism.  One of the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous and the primary author of the "Big Book", Bill W., was under Dr. Silkworth's care on three separate occasions there.  Within Dr. Silkworth's letter he stated, "We doctors have realized for a long time that some form of  MORAL PSYCHOLOGY was of urgent importance to alcoholics... unless [the alcoholic] can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope for his recovery."
          Dr. Silkworth and his colleagues believed that not only did the thought processes of the mind need to be transformed but the source of what powered those thought processes had to change.  The American Heritage Dictionary defines psychology as "the science that deals with mental processes and behavior."  Furthermore, it deems moral synonymous with virtuous. Therefore the thought processes of the mind had to become virtuous.  In order for this to occur, the mind of the alcoholic could no longer be propelled by the human's nature or instincts, but rather by the will of God through inspiration. As the back half of the Eleventh Step bids, "praying only for the knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out."
           The psychic change is the heart of the solution to our alcoholism. Through the grace of God (the source that powers the thought processes), a transformed and virtuous thought process is possible and real.   

Forming And Sustaining Relationships

                
         The chapter on Step Four in "Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions" describes our dysfunctional relations well, "But it is from our twisted relations with family, friends, and society at large that many of us have suffered the most.  We have been especially stupid and stubborn about them.  The primary fact that we failed to recognize is our total inability to form a true partnership with another human being."
          I went through my entire life unable to interact with others on an intimate level. I was incapable of allowing others to experience me as I truly was and I was unwilling to allow others to share with me their true self.  I would present to the world what I thought the world needed to see about me so I could feel good about myself.  In the past, the relationships I did have were of the type which, when I was done taking from them what I wanted and they were done taking from me what they wanted, the relationship was over.  I was incapable of FORMING AND SUSTAINING RELATIONSHIPS in an honest and caring way with other human beings. 
        The greatest gift I have received from developing a personal relationship with God through the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous is the ability to interact with other human beings at an honest and true level - therefore FORMING AND SUSTAINING RELATIONSHIPS that are caring and loving.  This occurs when we are the human being God created us to be, thereby maximizing our human potential

To Know Peace

          In Chapter 4 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous it says, "...we had to fearlessly face the proposition that God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or He isn't. What was our choice to be?"  When I came to the very point in my recovery where I had no desire to turn back to my old life but I was fearful of letting go of my nature (and living in the will of God), the above statement had to be answered.   I may have answered in the affirmative earlier in my recovery but it wasn't until that precise moment that I fully understood what was being asked of me - or rather, required of me.  
          If we are to recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body; if we are to be free of  manifesting our human defects in our behavior; if we are to live a life where we are tolerant and loving of all but never accepting of evil then we can live a life free from fear, anxiety and anger. We can be respected and loved. We can posses the spirits of charity and forgiveness and know joy - not because everything in life is as our human nature thinks it ought to be but because God is with us.  We must accept this - that joy is not the absence of sorrow but the presence of God.
           For the first time in my life I had become fully alive as the Spirit was fully awakened within me. I became and am the human being that God created me to be, maximizing my human potential, free of conflict, and at peace.
           I am aware of what is required of me, and I have answered "Yes, God is everything." What will your answer be?

The Resentment Prayer

                                I found that in compiling my Fourth Step resentment list, the best way to deal with resentment was to pray for and forgive those on my list.  In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous in the chapter How It Works it states "we realize that the people who had wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick.  Though we did not like their symptoms and the way they disturbed us, they like ourselves were sick too.  We ask God to help us grant  them the same tolerance, pity and patience we would grant a sick friend.  When a person offended we said to ourselves, perhaps this is a sick person, how can I be helpful to them.  God save me from being angry, thy will be done.  God will show us how to take a kind and tolerant view of each and everyone."  As we draw closer to God, in most situations this begins to happen automatically.  
                  As an alcoholic we find that resentment is the number one offender to a serene and peaceful life.
If we are to have a state of consciousness that is clear and free of conflict, if we are to lead an alcohol free life, a life where resentment is not causing conflict in our mind and therefore not manifested in our behavior than we must let go of our human resentments and there often is no way possible without the help of God. 

Unique Disease

           
                Alcoholism is a UNIQUE DISEASE in that it is two fold.  We have a physical allergy which ensures that each and every time we put alcohol into our system, we'll get sick, we'll get drunk, we'll get into all kinds of trouble.  But more importantly we have a mental obsession which ensures that even though we don't want to drink, sooner or later our mind will tell us it's ok, we'll put the alcohol into our system, we'll trigger the physical allergy and we'll get drunk again.
              Dr. Silkworth, the chief medical benefactor of AA suggests that the thought process of the mind has to be transformed.  The thought process of the mind of an alcoholic must have a psychic change, and this change is essential and must be complete.  As Dr. Silkworth states "on the other hand and strange as this may seem, once a psychic change has occurred the very same person who seemed doomed, who has so many problems they despaired of ever solving them is easily able to control their desire for alcohol, the only effort necessary being that required to follow a few simple rules."
             The transformation of thought that is necessary to recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body occurs through the grace of God received by the practice of the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.
            Having admitted complete defeat, having admitted to our innermost selves that we are alcoholic, understanding that our human power could not overcome our alcoholism, having begun to trust in God as a solution to our problems we were now at Step Three as "I decided to turn my will and my life over to the care of God." Our will is our thoughts and our life is our behavior as we always think before we act.  "God I offer myself to Thee, to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt, relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do thy will.  Take away from me my difficulties so that victory over them will bear witness to Thy power, Thy love and Thy way of life.  May I do Thy will always.
            A simple solution to a complicated and UNIQUE DISEASE