Thursday, June 11, 2015
Forming And Sustaining Relationships
The chapter on Step Four in "Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions" describes our dysfunctional relations well, "But it is from our twisted relations with family, friends, and society at large that many of us have suffered the most. We have been especially stupid and stubborn about them. The primary fact that we failed to recognize is our total inability to form a true partnership with another human being."
I went through my entire life unable to interact with others on an intimate level. I was incapable of allowing others to experience me as I truly was and I was unwilling to allow others to share with me their true self. I would present to the world what I thought the world needed to see about me so I could feel good about myself. In the past, the relationships I did have were of the type which, when I was done taking from them what I wanted and they were done taking from me what they wanted, the relationship was over. I was incapable of FORMING AND SUSTAINING RELATIONSHIPS in an honest and caring way with other human beings.
The greatest gift I have received from developing a personal relationship with God through the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous is the ability to interact with other human beings at an honest and true level - therefore FORMING AND SUSTAINING RELATIONSHIPS that are caring and loving. This occurs when we are the human being God created us to be, thereby maximizing our human potential
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I agree that in the absence of intimate know-how, I substituted hot air and cold beer as the sustaining elements of my alcoholic life. It went abysmally awful. More to the point, my relationship with me was empty and dangerous. The Steps from one through twelve led me to the awaiting Power Within me and I started to heal in the arms of that personal inner relationship. Today I'm in a relationship that is beyond human, therefore, beyond description. But it is real and it enables me to walk through life unafraid and inspired. But for The Grace of God.
ReplyDeleteMichael the inner relationship with God that you describe is thr source of all power even the ability of an alcoholic to think of others wefare ahead of their own...thank you...Armand
DeleteMy sponsor is the epitome of one who forms and sustains relationships by way of giving endless love and taking complete care of those he interacts with. In being blessed to witness this I have learned his love and his patience comes from a different place than where most others store these powerful, yet rare, traits. I, for one, when given the opportunities to showcase love, patience, kindness, and tolerance pull from my human nature where I have only a limited supply. This usually results in my patience being "tested" and "worn thin", my instinct to argue or go reticent (harming those I love the most) battling out with my independent, human-brewed love reserves. Humans have limits. God does not. My sponsor pulls from the energy which exists above, below, and completely encompassing the human orb. To know that an energy thrives of such immeasurable magnitude and deep intensity has me praying for such keen and conscientious sight to SEE and FEEL and HOLD for each moment and each breathe that which is true and honest and humble. I love and I do so fiercely but through God my love could be stronger and capable of so much more. My hope is to come to a place once I am recovered where my ability to form and sustain relationships will never be questioned - where only God, and not my human intentions, reign.
ReplyDeleteCaitlin Thank you for what you said but all it shows is the power of God to heal an egotistical, self absorbed alcoholic who cared only for himself.
ReplyDeleteYou wrote beautifully "my sponsor pulls from the energy which exists above, below, and completely encompassing the the human orb. To know that an energy thrives of such immeasurable magnitude and deep intensity has me praying for such keen and conscientious sight to see and feel and hold for each moment and each breath that which is true and honest and humble." When one surrenders completely their thought process to the will of God, one can not help to love others as that state of living in the will of God cannot exist without the love for others...Thank you...Armand.
There are so many twists and turns through life . When I look back at my life I now realize that the past still has many lessons to be learned from. I am a firm believer that history does repeat it self. "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps ." I now see things more clearly in God's world that He has created for me to live in . He has surrounded me with people and yes, no matter what we may think or judge about them, He has created them too . It's always easy to tolerate the tolerant, but when we encounter the intolerant will we become the intolerant ones? As I practice the 11th step of Alcoholics Anonymous and be willing to and channel my desires into one energy of desire, I realize that God has blessed me with the greatest desire, and that is the desire to seek Him and all his knowledge . He constantly blesses me with the Power of the Holy Spirit. I now can use my God given Judgements to make decisions on how I relate to all others . When I now look to relations with others I ask , how can I serve my fellow mankind ! Some will not want to be served some will. God plans out my time frame with others, not my own needs or whatever others self seeking motives I may have in my human nature .
ReplyDeleteIf I keep God in in the middle of all relations, then His Will will prevail. Every day every hour every minute and every moment
Will I be obedient to My God will I have the desire to accept his Gift. His Grace is always there to receive and Bless us . When we are Spiritually awakened we now see these spiritual experiences.
And The Holy Spirit manafeists in us . God never makes No mistakes . Make no mistake about that. No Peace, No Jesus ! Know Peace Know Jesus !
Don To this day my human nature still views other humans and events with a prejudice that lives within me. It is only by abandoning my nature to the will of God that my thoughts can become loving under any condition...Thank you so much...Armand
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