In Chapter 4 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous it says, "...we had to fearlessly face the proposition that God
is everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or He isn't. What was our
choice to be?" When I came to the very point in my recovery where I had no
desire to turn back to my old life but I was fearful of letting go
of my nature (and living in the will of God), the above statement had to be answered. I may have answered in
the affirmative earlier in my recovery but it wasn't until that precise moment that I fully
understood what was being asked of me - or rather, required of me.
If we are to recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body; if we are to be free of manifesting our human defects in our behavior; if we are to
live a life where we are tolerant and loving of all but never accepting of
evil then we can live a life free from fear, anxiety and anger. We can be respected
and loved. We can posses the spirits of charity and forgiveness and know joy - not
because everything in life is as our human nature thinks it ought to
be but because God is with us. We must accept this - that joy is not the absence of sorrow but the
presence of God.
For the first time in my life I had become fully alive as the Spirit was fully awakened within me. I became and am the human being that God created me to be, maximizing my
human potential, free of conflict, and at peace.
I am aware of what is required of me, and I have answered "Yes, God is everything." What will your answer be?
I hear that everyone's experience is different. For me, it was coming to the revelation that there was a Greater Power within me than the purely human version of me. Once that was made certain through The Twelve Steps, my perspective, my outlook, my purpose was changed. I now possessed a belief that The Power Within meant the exhilaration of all things worthwhile in my life. The opposite of alcohol's aim to annihilate all things worthwhile. In my heart I feel that this transformation is a return to my origin, a state of peace and tranquility brought about by an awakened soul no longer propelled by the will of me. It is freedom in its truest sense.
ReplyDeleteMichael when one is willing to let go of their human nature and live in the will of God a whole new world comes into view. Our reaction to life changes as we now have the ability to live and enjoy life in the present not fearful or afraid as we are at peace trusting in God. As you wrote Michael, "it is freedom in its truest sense."...Thank you...Armand
ReplyDeleteAs though imprisoned while making this paramount decision, one in which the answer was already clear in my heart but not so in my mind, I was freed at once with the epiphany that the only thing whatsoever that was clear about my mind was that it was, indeed, THE PROBLEM. I couldn't trust what my mind told me and processed any longer. I still can't. Having this self-centered disease means that my mind is constantly battling the answers my innermost spirit already possesses. I know He is and I know He is everything because this knowledge is inherent in my divine makeup - a knowledge I've only acquired by emptying out the blackened remains of all my yesterdays in an attempt to reveal the canvas on which He composed His providence and a predetermination of His will for me. I have yet to grasp how I apply this ideal in all areas of my life, yet I know it involves letting go of that which I cling onto - even if it is in my subconscious that I cling, prayer and meditation have begun to reveal what I must untie from my ego in order to execute His will. I only pray that in each moment I can I give myself to Him. That is the way and, for me, the only way to survive and possibly even thrive.
ReplyDeleteCaitlin can't really pick out anything to focus on as all of it is equally worthy of focus. In our human nature peace can't be experienced due to our illness of self centered fear. Trusting in God to forgo the incessant prompts of our human nature and living in the will of God in this moment is where our peace can be found...Thank you...Armand
ReplyDelete