The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous says "what about the real
alcoholic? They may start off as a moderate drinker, may or may not
become a continuous drinker, but at some stage of their career they
begin to lose all control once they start to drink. We know that while
the alcoholic keeps away from the first drink, the alcoholic reacts much
like others but once the alcoholic takes any alcohol at all something
happens in both the bodily and mental sense which makes it virtually
impossible to stop. The experience of every alcoholic will confirm
this. These observations would be academic and pointless if the
alcoholic never took the first drink thereby setting the terrible cycle
in motion. Therefore THE MAIN PROBLEM with the alcoholic centers in the
mind rather then in the body."
If the problem
centers in our mind and we use our reasoning power in an attempt to
solve our problem than we are trying to solve our problem with the
problem. This can never work as my own experience proves. I continued
to drink alcoholically even though I knew I shouldn't and certainly did
not want to. Lack of power that is our dilemma and we must find a new
source of power to propel our thoughts. Our thought process can no
longer be propelled by our human instincts but rather by the will of God
through inspiration.
We have found a new
source of power and that one is God. We have subrogated our thought
process to the will of God and we are at peace. Our prayer at this
moment is that anyone who suffers from alcoholism, whether actively
drinking or not, may find God as the source of their power. .
I am guilty of reaching for my own reasoning power too often and it stings deeply once I realize what I've done. My problem...my WORST ENEMY...is my own mind (where my reasoning power thrives). The main problem doesn't only affect my alcoholism but every aspect of my human nature. "Alcoholism is but a symptom of our disease" my sponsor tells me. How true - this disease poisons over every part of my being: my soul, my spirit, my ability to love and my threshold for patience; this disease betrays my heart and plays executor to all things wholesome and good. To relinquish what has become a part of my being for as long as I've lived isn't easy but the Higher Power of my Lord CAN CONQUER ALL. In prayer and meditation He is with me and will always be here with me to guide and love and keep me hungry for life as long as I let Him. Most importantly is that those around me will know more of His creation versus my own and they can then inherently be blessed and possibly even inspired. Blessings.
ReplyDeleteCaitlin Well said. Loved when you wrote "my problem...my worst enemy...is my mind. It does take humility to recognize that and a complete surrender to no longer have your thought process propelled by our human instinct but rather by the will of God. In the will of God our human defects cannot be manifested and we will never drink alcohol...Thank you so much...Armand
ReplyDeleteThe main problem has always been me. I've known that at some level all along. But where inside me to locate the source of the problem, and how to resolve it became my undoing. I tried to use my intellect to combat a spiritual yearning. Alcohol filled the bill for a time, eventually disabling me from distinguishing true from false. That is how I attempted to live an unlivable life. Only through the specific wisdom of The Twelve Steps have I been able to find the source of my emptiness, my insatiable mind, and the source of my recovery, the limitless Power of Peace as outlined in The Big Book. The miraculous effect the transition from self-propulsion to soul-propulsion has had on my life is the gift of my life.
ReplyDeleteMichael we are not miracles but what has occurred for us is. As you wrote "we went from self propulsion to soul propulsion" - that is only possible when we surrender our thought process to the will of God...Thanks...Armand
ReplyDeleteI do not want my worst enemy to my own mind. It does not seem fair to me, why would I want to do something so bad, when I know it will end in my distruction? I am in a state of why me? As I come across 5 months of sobriety, I am discontented by the thought of why do I have to possess an alcoholic flawed mind? I just wish today I was not an alcoholic, dispite the obvious.
ReplyDeletePaul Know that because of your alcoholism you have an opportunity to have a life you could never have if not for the integration of the Twelve Steps of AA...Thanks...Armand
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