Thursday, December 11, 2014
Forming And Sustaining Relationships
Step Four in the Step Book describes the condition well. "It is from our twisted relations with family, friends and society at large that many of us have suffered the most. We have been especially stupid and stubborn about them. The primary fact that we failed to recognize was our total inability to form a true partnership with another human being."
I went through my entire life unable to interact with others on an intimate level, incapable of allowing others to experience me as I truly am and unwilling to allow others to share with me their true self. I would present to the world what I thought the world needed to see in me so I could feel good about myself. In the past, the relationships I did have were of the type, when I was done taking from them what I wanted and they were done taking from me what they wanted, well then, the relationship was over. I was incapable of FORMING AND SUSTAINING RELATIONSHIPS in an honest and caring way with other human beings. The greatest gift I have received from developing a personal relationship with God through the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous is the ability to interact with other human beings at an honest and true level thereby FORMING AND SUSTAINING RELATIONSHIPS that are caring and loving. This occurs for us as we are now able to be the human being God created us to be thereby maximizing our human potential.
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In The Twelve and Twelve, The Eighth Step cites "defective relationships" as being the immediate cause of nearly all of our woes including our alcoholism. Having to examine this, I found that I drank to escape and avoid my relationship with we. And I was all I had. Therefore, oving and lasting relationships with others were not possible. The Twelve Steps led me to a personal relationship with The Higher Power within me which had always been missing and which rendered me incapable of knowing true love in my life. Now, with full awareness of That Presence Within Me, I'm fully capable of giving and receiving love. That, I believe, is the true purpose of my daily life.
ReplyDeleteMichael As you and I have spoken about an alcoholic cannot drink alcohol and still suffer from untreated alcoholism as they haven't addressed the underlying illness, self centered fear. The character defects of the untreated alcoholic are still manifested in their behavior having a crippling effect upon their relationships...Thanks so much...Armand
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