You know the day I stood in the parking lot drunk such a long time
ago and the fortunate event that occurred as I bumped into the only
person I knew who was in A A, the kindness he showed me by speaking with
me and by taking me to my first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting that
night. There I raised my hand and said "my name is Armand and I am an
alcoholic." Some seven years passed from that first night until I could
admit complete defeat. The intervening years produced some difficulty
in my life as a direct result of alcohol. But fortunately I did survive
and those seven years produced a bottom that I could push up from.
Since that time I have been blessed with a passion for
the program of Alcoholics Anonymous which has given me a life, a real
life and I know that in order to keep it I must give it away. In the
Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous it says "the entire load must be given
away." It also states "our very lives as ex problem drinkers depends
upon our constant thought of others." In the rooms when I see a
newcomer or if it is someones first time to our home group I will walk
up to them, shake their hand and introduce myself. When anyone in AA
asks for help of any kind but generally by them asking me to take them
through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous by reading the Big Book
together, I say "yes" as perhaps this is the day they receive their
KERNEL of faith as I once did when I was blessed by kindness. Through A
KERNEL of faith maybe, just maybe they will be on their way to recovery
from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body.
"Faith without action is dead" says in the BB. Fear has kept me from helping others at times. Would love to be free from all fear.
ReplyDeleteThanks Armand for your wisdom.
Many a seed has been planted in my life . Time after time I have been in places where scenes that may have made an impression upon me were ignored. The predujist in my mind would not allow me to witness the true world around myself. My mind was already made up about things , I lived in a programmed hypnotic state. Many combinations of things caused me to think this way. Self centered fear was the main ingredient , it permeated my entire being. This fear manifested in my mind, and intellect would never be able to untwist this state. Everything in life took on a distorted view. My ego or as defined as self image was warped because I was not capable of looking past myself to be able to tend to others needs. Every thing I did had self motives , thinking that I was a good guy was not the truth. In this state of mind no seeds could take root. They would die off due to the hard soil they were sowed upon, no fertilization, no watering, just a cold and barren existence . For a kernel to be planted in me the soil had to be tilled, and God allowed my soil to be tilled time and time again. He constantly kept tilling until I was tilled up enough to accept new seeds. I had come to realize after many years of being tilled up that the administering of the kernel of the seeds needed watering and plenty of sunlight. Hence the 12steps of A.A. Came as the ingredients of growth in a life that had been broken down by constant tilling. God has always been the true purveyor of the soil, it's just that the work that I put into the garden would not produce growth. Many kernels later growth now can be producing a healthy harvest . A true harvest.
ReplyDeleteOne of an abundance ! Never kept, always given away !
Ibis surrender your will to the will of God and the fear that is part of your human nature and to some extent will always exist there will have no effect upon your emotional state or your behavior...Thanks, please continue to comment...Armand
ReplyDeleteDon We lived a life fueled by an insatiable desire but alcohol beat us in to a state of reasonableness and we were forced to see life through the eyes of God...Thank you...Armand
ReplyDeleteI've always known that a kernel existed within me that needed water and sunshine in order to grow and make me strong. Instead, I used alcohol to drown and darken my entire life and the lives of everyone close to me. But kernel remained whole, stronger than all the alcohol with which I plied myself. Today I believe that that kernel exists within each and every person. And that for alcoholics who have joined AA, the opportunity to face ourselves in the light becomes the humbling experience we need to grow into the persons we are intended to be. What can occur within us through The Twelve Steps properly incorporated into our lives, is a miraculous process enabling the kernel to grow and strengthen daily.
ReplyDeleteMichael A kernel of faith is sparked by kindness and gentleness. Others are more likely to accept help when they know our kindness is genuine. Love without motive is the fruit of the actual program of Alcoholics Anonymous...Thank you...Armand
ReplyDelete