I have learned through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous that I have three basic instincts: a social, a sexual and a security instinct. These instincts are God given and necessary for life, but in me I can never get enough of what it is I think I need. The great psychiatrist Sigmund Freud defines an instinct as, "a bodily need manifested in our thought process.".
Through the twelve steps I have learned that alcohol is but a symptom of our true malady - our true malady being self-centered fear. We are afraid that we are not going to get what we want and that we are going to lose what we have. Once our fear is triggered we reach for our character defects in an attempt to satiate our instincts, but we can never get enough of what it is we think we need. We are then left running around, chasing our tails, creating havoc in our lives but, more importantly, havoc in the lives of everyone around us. This malady of self-centered fear is the functioning piece of alcoholism and any other ism.
The solution to the disease of addiction is a vital spiritual experience. We must give life to our relationship with God. How? By letting go of our human nature so our thought process is no longer propelled by our instincts, but rather by the will of God through inspiration,
Written By Armand
Written By Armand
In humility strength arises. It feels like it is the end but sometimes it is just the beginning. Fear within oneself is an overwhelming anxiety of being. Asking god to remove the fear and direct and direct me to what he would have me be allows me to outgrow the fear. I outgrow the fear, it doesn’t just disappear but slowly it subsides as faith deepens and grows.
ReplyDeleteRelieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do thy will not mine. God relives me of self so that I can be more free.
Jessica in the will of God I am aware of my human fear but it has no effect on my emotional state or behavior...Thank you...Armand
DeleteMichael C.
ReplyDeleteDeep fear, insatiable instincts, resultant grandiosity, and defiance. These are the conditions in which I met life while attempting to lead my own version of life. Ultimately, alcohol looked like the only solution. Thus, its power over me was absolute. I lived in a constant state of dysfunction. Lack of power was my essential dilemma. It was only by integrating all Twelve Steps into my life that I found The Power Within me and came to experience a vital spiritual solution. This solution was not confined to my alcohol problem. Without question, it is the solution to all of my problems. Today I live without the oppression of fear. My instincts are no longer in need of more. I function in love and live in peace.
Michael liked when you wrote " I live without the oppression of fear." How true...Thank you...Armand
DeleteI've lived out that hyper exaggerated delusional belief in my own importance. I justified every unrestrained journey into my otherwise God given appetites with an unholy zeal that deliberately left God out of the equation. The result? I became a hollow, walking, talking bottomless pit of gilt and shame, terrified by the ever-present fear of having my true self discovered and inner "daemons" exposed. There was... no real good in me to be found. To be honest, there was no me at all. Just a self created caricature, a mere bundle of personas alternately exercised to gain acceptance and ultimate possession of the person, place or thing I craved.
ReplyDeleteYet, all the while the effects of God's presence were everywhere and all about me. In the perfect symbiotic order and splendor of nature, the random kindness of a strangers, witnessed displays of true love and affection, a baby's furtive glance. That, was the life I craved in fleeting moments of sanity.
It was the impossible desire of becoming a part of that world that finally drove me to my knees in absolute surrender to the Ultimate Author of that vision. I asked for Gods protection and care with complete abandon and as I laid that wretched life before Him, all the accumulated gilt and shame of 37 years fled into infinity... And miraculously, in its place, in this heart of a still imperfect man, the Person of the very Holy Spirit of God took up residence. I finally began to apprehend the radical change described in "How it Works." The memory of Gods conversion of that sick and self-centered caricature, into a God centered man is as fresh in my mind today as it was so many years ago. I'm strangely thankful I discovered alcohol and the inevitable misery it brings. Without it, I would never have walked through the doors and into the fellowship of AA. I would never have accepted the Steps that lead to the "Peace of God that surpasses all understanding." (Philippians 4:7) I would never have come to know my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. And, as I’ve said before my beloved brother, neither would you. It is for me the one true miracle that renews itself every day as I awaken each morning with an attitude of gratitude for the miracle of God’s grace.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic