Step One in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous requires an admission to our innermost self that we are alcoholic. As difficult as this is, we see the progression not only in the amount of alcohol we consumed but the negative effects the alcohol was having on our bodies and on our lives. This realization comes after we declare, "I am an alcoholic" (or "I am an addict") and after we had a desire not to drink and not to use. We had to make an admission that we were powerless over alcohol, over drugs, over our reckless behaviors, and that our lives had indeed become unmanageable. We drank, used, and behaved the way our disease willed us to and so many of us relapsed time and time again over events and circumstances in our lives. The happenstances of our lives are only excuses as the real reason we lapsed was because we only wanted or had one foot in the program, and one foot out of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous.
In Chapter Five of the "Big Book" of Alcoholics Anonymous entitled "How It Works" states, "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program." We can chose not to thoroughly follow the path and so we do not completely give ourselves to this simple program as we are so very defiant by nature. The result of such defiance is relapse (if we are lucky, death if we are not).
It is true that an admission is required. It is true that we must admit complete defeat. It is true that our lives are unmanageable. It is true that we must admit to our innermost self that we are alcoholic, that we are addict, that we are amok with disease. It is true that we must surrender to the program of AA. Once we have made all of these admissions we must integrate the program of AA into our lives in such a way that it becomes our life. Then maybe, just maybe, for the first time in our existence we will have a life... a real life...a joyful, loved-filled life.
Written By Armand
Written By Armand
Admission gave me admittance. In finally conceding to myself that I was an alcoholic, I was given the gift of the right to enter my innermost self. By integrating all Twelve Steps into my life, I came to know the person I was born to be. But that was only through the awareness and presence of The Power Within me. After many sober years in AA, I had to humble myself by admitting that I had missed much of what was available to me, namely the further awakening of my spirit. Through this admission, knowing myself simply became the first step in learning to love myself. And then to give myself away. As we hear every day, we must give ourselves away in order to save ourselves. Pain was the price of admission. Love is the ultimate reward.
ReplyDeleteMichael we can't give Away that which we don't have. In order to help others in the way that is necessary we must submit to the will of God...Thank you...Armand
DeleteThe darkness of despair in confusion and fear is painful. The surrender is a sweet spot of an ability to be honest within and admit to my innermost self. Lack of power is my dilemma and finding a power greater than myself- God of my understanding has restored me and helped me to solve my problem.
ReplyDeleteSurrender and trust are powerful and I need it as I am powerless. When I let God navigate me through the unknown territory he guides me and I find myself getting to know him and believing more deeply in him and in myself.
God has a plan, each morning in prayer and meditation, I ask him to show me the way. He is there through it all even in the difficulties, when doubt arrises. The more I rely on God, the power independent I become. God is love, he loves me and his will is for me to love myself as well.
Jessica daily morning prayer and Meditation is necessary to develop a Conscious conta t with God...Thank you...Armand
DeleteHi Armand,
ReplyDeleteHope this note finds you well.
The cash register no longer worked, my wallet was empty and I thought my pockets had holes.
Yes, there was admission and the price was extremely high.
I surrendered on July 12, 1991 when I asked God for help. I ended up in a Rehab a couple of days later. But it wasn't until about 10 days later that I went to my first AA meeting. It was there that I put my hand up and said, "I'm an alcoholic, my name is Sid."
I always put alcoholic first and my name second. The reason for this is simple. I can change my name anytime I choose to, but I can never not be an alcoholic.
Your friend
Sid P
Sid Humility is the key that unlocks the door to the grace of Hod...Thank you...Armand
ReplyDeleteGod
ReplyDeleteArmand,
ReplyDeletePrior to that admission, I couldn’t imagine a life without drinking. It was only my base instinct for survival, knowing I was truly a dead man walking that finally compelled my long put off first surrender, of a whirlwind tour of dark and unbridled animal appetites, to the Father of Eternal Light... That first admission pulled me from the wilderness and onto on a path, a very narrow path, a road less traveled. For perhaps the first time in my life I was instinctively at peace with the sure knowledge that no matter how fearful the path may at times appear, the ultimate destination was secure. A true Miracle...
God knows my fears, faults and failures all too well but He also knows the deep desires of my heart that brought me to this place and wishes to make them a living reality. He recalls to my heart the words of Chapter 5, "We asked His protection and care with complete abandon." And I sense I'm about to further plumb the depths and breath of the meaning of that “complete abandon", but no longer out of complete desperation, but by a conscience act of the will. I now humbly and fervently seek the One who has placed me here. Who lovingly reminds me that I have abandoned my desire to continue to become my own worst nightmare and push on to seek to walk in the light of His perfect purpose. The purpose for which I was created.
It is God who continually reminds me "It's a simple program" that I had all too often allowed the world to make fearfully complex. He speaks into my heart that "My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness." I need only place my weaknesses, doubts and fears before Him and failure is replaced by forgiveness and fear is replaced by an ever deepening faith. He is my Constant Compass as His Word and Spirit becomes my one true and only source of security in every insecurity, and sanity in this seemingly insane world. To walk with Jesus, to finally gratefully accept the love He so freely gives and share it with another is the greatest gift I've ever received and the truest reason and purpose for my being.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic a life lived in the will of God is a life worth living....Thank you...Armand
ReplyDelete