In the Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous in the chapter "How It Works" it states, "The first requirement (in taking the Third Step) is that we be convinced that any life run on self will can hardly be a success. Remember that we deal with alcohol - cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power - that One is God. May you find Him now!" It also says "Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles... So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making...and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness... And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid."
We have learned through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous that we have three basic instincts. These instincts are God given and necessary for life, but in me I can never get enough of what it is I think I need. The great psychiatrist Sigmund Freud defines an instinct as "a bodily need manifested in our thought process." What occurs for us as an alcoholic is our instincts manifest themselves in our thought process and trigger our self-centered fear. We learned through the program that alcohol is but a symptom of OUR TRUE MALADY. Any addiction is such. OUR TRUE MALADY is self-centered fear: afraid that we are not going to get what we want, afraid that we will lose what we have. Once our fear is triggered we reach for our character defects in an attempt to satiate our instincts. The only problem is that in us we can never get enough of what it is that we think we need, then we run around chasing our tails creating havoc in our lives - but more importantly, havoc in the lives of everyone around us. This is the functioning piece of alcoholism.
As an alcoholic we have a compulsive need to defend our basic human instincts, often to an extreme. This manifestation of our character defects is a result of our self-centered fear that permeates our lives. Alcohol is but a symptom of OUR TRUE MALADY. OUR TRUE MALADY is SELF-CENTERED FEAR.
Written By Armand
For me, the true definition of a malady is an "illness that has a hold on me." It resides in me at a level far deeper than my intellect can reach. As a result, I cannot rely on my thinking to relieve me of this absolute bondage of self. The paradox is that while I was self-centered, I possessed no center of self. In the program of recovery, I was able to find my-self through The Power Within me. That occurred with the aid of Time and Trust. It took Time to let go of my fear-based human nature. And it took Trust to integrate all Twelve Steps into my life in such a way that my life was transformed. The true malady was inside me. The true solution is within me. The difference between mere existence and a life of sane and happy usefulness.
ReplyDeleteMichael each day it is possible to experience life without the Malady of self centered Fear. All it takes is an absolute and Complete surrender of our nature to the will of God...Thank you...Armand
DeleteMichael this is very well articulated. I have a friend struggling with this, and I think this will be helpful. Thank you!
DeleteThanks for sharing the truth Armand,
ReplyDeleteAs I've written previously, self centered fear and pride, together with covetousness exquisitely describe the motive force that propels every person who is absolutely inwardly convinced that the entire known universe was uniquely and exclusively created just for them. Yet, a casual glance at the world at large confirms that these regrettable characteristics are not the exclusive estate of the Alcoholic mind. Even the most sober minded and spiritual among us suffer the cravings of misdirected appetites from time to time and any denial of our true condition is the primal delusion spoken of in the Big Book that must be rooted out and tossed into the pit from which it originated. it is a core spiritual state that cannot even be recognized let alone overcome without Devine intervention. One of the greatest saints who ever lived wrote of this nearly 2000 years ago and I'll defer to the problem he identified and the solution he discovered.
Romans 7: 14 - 24
"We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!
This gratefully recovering alcoholic has painfully proven in the past that even when I inwardly agree that the course I chose would ultimately lead to self destruction I would still "throw the dice" as my appetites demanded hoping for a better outcome; and that my friend is insanity... Simple knowledge of my condition is of no avail until I fully accept that I'm completely, utterly and constitutionally incapable of overcoming my own will with MY WILL, and any self powered effort in that direction is tantamount to placing a hair net over the space shuttle with the expectation of preventing the launch. God alone can do for me what I cannot do for myself.
Today I pray, dear God I respond now to Your invitation. You have called me to place into Your capable hands the trials and tribulations within me and about me. Help me to turn my cares over to You, and to rest in the assurance that Your solutions are greater than my problems. Give me a clear head and a trusting heart as I press onward on the path You have marked before me. You are the only one who can break the power of sin and death of a once dead soul and provide a Damascus Road meeting with the Author of Light. Help me to continually uncover the peace, serenity, assurance and agapē love that is the immutable fabric of a life lived in the arms of You, my Savior and Lord who is and was and is to come.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic my Prayer this day is to surrender my nature at the foot of the cross. Giving my cares fears and desires to the Lord. Asking that the Holy Spirit enter in to my thought process so that my behavior us online with Gods will for me...Thank you...Armand
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