Step One in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous requires an admission to our innermost self that we are alcoholic. As difficult as this is, we see the progression not only in the amount of alcohol we consumed but the negative effects the alcohol was having on our bodies and on our lives. This realization comes after we declare, "I am an alcoholic" (or "I am an addict") and after we had a desire not to drink and not to use. We had to make an admission that we were powerless over alcohol, over drugs, over our reckless behaviors, and that our lives had indeed become unmanageable. We drank, used, and behaved the way our disease willed us to and so many of us relapsed time and time again over events and circumstances in our lives. The happenstances of our lives are only excuses as the real reason we lapsed was because we only wanted or had one foot in the program, and one foot out of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous.
In Chapter Five of the "Big Book" of Alcoholics Anonymous entitled "How It Works" states, "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program." We can chose not to thoroughly follow the path and so we do not completely give ourselves to this simple program as we are so very defiant by nature. The result of such defiance is relapse (if we are lucky, death if we are not).
It is true that an admission is required. It is true that we must admit complete defeat. It is true that our lives are unmanageable. It is true that we must admit to our innermost self that we are alcoholic, that we are addict, that we are amok with disease. It is true that we must surrender to the program of AA. Once we have made all of these admissions we must integrate the program of AA into our lives in such a way that it becomes our life. Then maybe, just maybe, for the first time in our existence we will have a life... a real life...a joyful, loved-filled life.
Written By Armand
The concept of admission is the key to admission to a new life. Just as you've outlined, the process requires reality, humility, honesty, and unsparing self-survey. All of these requirements are infinitely more valuable when a sponsor or spiritual advisor is involved, as old narratives die hard. Only by integrating all Twelve Steps into my life in such away that my life has become mine through the presence of The Power Within me has this transformation been made possible. But it is in living a life of wholeness, fullness, peace and joy that the rewards you cited become alive and available to us "in the moment". We must then give all that we have and are away.
ReplyDeleteMichael it was so difficult to put alcohol aside even though I was aware of the damage caused by it to every part of my life. It wasn't until I was honest to myself deep within myself that the struggle to stop eased. Than the matter of staying stopped is addressed by integrating the 12 Steps of Alcoholic Anonymous into my life in such a way that they become my life....Thank you...Armand
ReplyDeleteArmand,
ReplyDeletePrior to admission, I couldn’t imagine a life without drinking. It was only my base instinct for survival, knowing I was truly a dead man walking, that finally compelled that long put off first surrender of a whirlwind tour of dark and unbridled animal appetites exercised into the wee dark hours of the night, to the Father of Eternal Light. That first admission pulled me from the wilderness and onto on a path, a very narrow path, a road less traveled. For perhaps the first time in my life I was instinctively at peace with the sure knowledge that no matter how fearful the path may at times appear, the ultimate destination was secure. A true Miracle...
God knows my fears, faults and failures all too well but He also knows the deep desires of my heart that brought me to this place and wishes to make them a living reality. He recalls to my heart the words of Chapter 5, "We asked His protection and care with complete abandon." And I sense I'm about to further plumb the depths and breath of the meaning of "complete abandon", but no longer out of desperation, but by a conscience act of the will. I humbly and fervently seek the One who has placed me here. Who lovingly reminds me that I have abandoned my desire to continue to become my own worst nightmare as I continue to seek to walk in the light of His perfect purpose. The purpose for which I was created.
He now continually reminds me "It's a simple program" that I had all too often allowed the world to make fearfully complex. He speaks into my heart that "My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness." I need only place my weaknesses, doubts and fears before Him and failure is replaced by forgiveness and fear is replaced by an ever deepening faith. He is my Constant Compass as His Word and Spirit becomes my one true and only source of security in every insecurity, and sanity in this seemingly insane world. To walk with Jesus, to finally gratefully accept the love He so freely gives and share it with another is the greatest gift I've ever received and the truest reason and purpose for my being.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic love when you wrote "my Grace is sufficient for you." How true but my human nature wants to question that which I know to be true. It is why the 11TH Step, Prayer And Meditation is so important...Thank you...Armand
DeleteThe first step in my recovery was when I was able to admit to my inner most self that I was an alcoholic. I knew at my core I suffered from a hopeless state of mind and body and a spiritual malady.
ReplyDeleteThe hopelessness and pain in the darkness lead me to seek a solution where I came to believe that god could restore me to sanity. I was seeking soundness of mind to have a personality change sufficient for me to recover. The 12 steps show me soundness of mind, healing, gods grace, forgiveness and love one day at a time. I surrender, trust, believe, give and receive, making conscious contact in the morning, praying only for knowledge of god’s will for me and the power to carry it out.
Jessica the daily Prayer And Meditation is so important...Thank you...Armand
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