Step One in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous requires an admission to our innermost self that we are alcoholic. As difficult as this is, we see the progression not only in the amount of alcohol we consumed but the negative effects the alcohol was having on our bodies and on our lives. This realization comes after we declare, "I am an alcoholic" (or "I am an addict") and after we had a desire not to drink and not to use. We had to make an admission that we were powerless over alcohol, over drugs, over our reckless behaviors, and that our lives had indeed become unmanageable. We drank, used, and behaved the way our disease willed us to and so many of us relapsed time and time again over events and circumstances in our lives. The happenstances of our lives are only excuses as the real reason we lapsed was because we only wanted or had one foot in the program, and one foot out of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous.
In Chapter Five of the "Big Book" of Alcoholics Anonymous entitled "How It Works" states, "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program." We can chose not to thoroughly follow the path and so we do not completely give ourselves to this simple program as we are so very defiant by nature. The result of such defiance is relapse (if we are lucky, death if we are not).
It is true that an admission is required. It is true that we must admit complete defeat. It is true that our lives are unmanageable. It is true that we must admit to our innermost self that we are alcoholic, that we are addict, that we are amok with disease. It is true that we must surrender to the program of AA. Once we have made all of these admissions we must integrate the program of AA into our lives in such a way that it becomes our life. Then maybe, just maybe, for the first time in our existence we will have a life... a real life...a joyful, loved-filled life.
Written By Armand
Written By Armand
Thank you for bringing it all back to the basics. If I had to narrow my state of mind prior to walking into my first meeting it was the total lack of humility and my ego in total control of my life. I had no idea that a spiritual life existed. It took an acute humiliation experience to knock out my ego long enough for God's grace to enter my life which allowed me to see clearly the clear state of my living out of control. That brought me to the point that going to an AA meeting was an option. As I walked through the door for the first time I immediately knew I was in the right place. That was God's grace pure and simple. I was open long enough to get a glimpse of the solution. I had no idea what I was doing, but I knew I was doing the right thing. God had a beachhead into my life and from there, the AA program led me through the initial confusion and chaos of physical pain and emotional restlessness. It was the human connections I made in AA and God's grace to put me on my path into the spiritual life of God's will.
ReplyDeleteJim all it takes is a mustard sad of faith. AA helps us understand how bring our faith to lofe in the present moment. This moment...Thank you...Armand
DeleteArmand, SUPER FINE WRITING ON STEP NO. 1. All the Best, John
ReplyDeleteJohn I appreciate your kindness...Armand
DeleteDefiance and self-centeredness condemned me to a life of alcoholism and unmanageability. It was not until I made the barroom floor concession to my innermost self that I found both the Source and the process for recovery. The Source was deep down within me, deeper than my defiance; the process was the admission and, then, the integration of all Twelve Steps into my life in such a way that they have become my life. My experience is that we have to move away from self in order to find self. That work can only be accomplished by the continuous action of The Steps in our daily behavior and relationships. Yes, admission is required but so is commitment and trust. A new way of life is the prize.
ReplyDeleteMichael love the barroom floor concession...Thank you...Armand
ReplyDeleteArmand,
ReplyDeletePrior to admission, I couldn’t imagine a life without drinking. It was my base instinct for survival, knowing I was truly a dead man walking, that finally compelled that first surrender of what had been a whirlwind tour of dark and unbridled animal appetites exercised into the wee dark hours of the night, to the Father of Eternal Light. That first admission pulled me from the wilderness and onto on a path, a very narrow path, a road less traveled. For perhaps the first time in my life I was instinctively at peace with the sure knowledge that no matter how fearful the path may at times appear, the ultimate destination was secure. A true Miracle...
God knows my fears, faults and failures all too well but He also knows the deep desires of my heart that brought me to this place and wishes to make them a living reality. He recalls to my heart the words of Chapter 5, "We asked His protection and care with complete abandon." And I sense I'm about to further plumb the depths and breath of the meaning of "complete abandon", but no longer out of desperation, but a conscience act of the will. I humbly and fervently seek the One who has placed me here. Who lovingly reminds me that I have abandoned my desire to continue to become my own worst nightmare as I continue to seek to walk in the light of His perfect purpose, for which I was created.
He continually reminds me "It's a simple program" that I had all too often allowed the world to make fearfully complex. He speaks into my heart that "My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness." I need only place my weaknesses, doubts and fears before Him and failure is replaced by forgiveness and fear is replaced by an ever deepening faith. He is my Constant Compass as His Word and Spirit becomes my one true and only source of security in every insecurity, and sanity in this seemingly insane world. To walk with Jesus, to finally gratefully accept the love He so freely gives and share it with another is the greatest gift I've ever received and the truest reason and purpose for my being.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic love when you wrote "security in every insecurity.' So true in my life over the last several months including today...Thank you...Armand
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