When I first walked through the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous I had no idea what to expect. Though quickly I was able to see what worked in others - a belief in and dependence upon God. As Bill once said "Would I have it? Of course I would."The Sixth Step of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous is "We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character." We learn through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous that alcohol is but a symptom of our true malady, our true malady is in fact self-centered fear. We are afraid we are not going to get what we want, afraid that we are going to lose what we have. Once our fears are triggered we reach for our character defects in an attempt to satiate our human instincts. The dictionary defines defect as, "the lack of something necessary for completion or perfection."
We learn in the Fourth Step of the program that it is necessary to find out what it is about us that keeps the Grace of God from our lives. It is in doing this that we discover the exact nature of our wrongs, as we make the list of our defects. In the Fifth Step of the program we confess our character defects. Then, in the Sixth Step, we are entirely ready and willing to have these defects removed.
It is our character defects that keep us from the perfection of God - from becoming the human being God created each of us to be and not the self-centered people who care only for their human desires and what they think they need in life. A person who is willing to use almost any means necessary to fulfill their desires is sick.
With all of our human flaws we can become the being God created us to be when we turn from our human nature and surrender to His will.
Written By Armand
Armand,
ReplyDeleteI also humbly suggest it’s important to review the previous decisions that have brought me to this place. For each and every one relentlessly attacked my false pride and grandiosity. Step 2, had to reflect my final-admission-to-myself that my thinking and acting out absolutely required a Power greater than myself to restore me to sanity…meaning I had to admit to a "mental illness of such a severe nature that a person cannot distinguish fantasy from reality, cannot conduct her/his affairs due to psychosis, or is subject to uncontrollable impulsive behavior.” To the alcoholic, if he or she doesn’t completely agree that they qualify for the first two points of this definition, the last certainly qualifies us. The fact that the word “Power" is capitalized in this step was not lost on me. It was a terrifying thought that I tried to rationalize my way around far too many times to count. All to no avail..
For Step 3, clearly identifies that “ Power” exclusively as God and not, as I had hoped, some theoretical, metaphysical or philosophical folly presenting an escape hatch allowing me the option to further occupy the throne. It was also clear to me that If I rejected the clear clarion call of the original writers, in any way, I was still embedded in the insanely delusional thinking of a chronically-self-possessed-alcoholic-mind. Although my God given conscience was seared to a cinder at that time, this realization still struck me like a ball pean hammer blow. I had no choice but to begin the process of surrender that Step 3 proclaims and surrender to the following steps that invite God to inhabit the innermost parts of my being.
But, my innermost parts were a festering sore and needed to be abandoned and swept clean.. Step 4, reveals my part in this process as acknowledging all the garbage that I had accumulated in my lifetime and prayerfully ready it for disposal. In Step 5, I confessed all sinful acts, actions and attitudes in a witnessed confession to God Himself... and received God’s blessing and acceptance as he removes every layer of guilt and shame associated with my faults and failures and confirms my innermost need and desire to have God remove these defects of character in Steps 6 and 7..
Once this portion of the process was apprehended, I soon discover that I no longer fear the loss of the life once lived. That life, has been cast, like so much refuse into the trash pail of sinful acts and actions forgiven and forgotten by the Creator of all. An inexplicable shift in paradigm has occurred, the animal appetites need no longer be sated, my unbridled fleshly desires loose their allure, the obsession has been removed. In their place grows a consuming desire to drink at the Masters well as I pray:
Gracious God, knowledge of You is now my principal purpose and passion. It is my greatest need and most urgent desire. I really want to know You... not just as Creator and Sustainer of the universe but as my Father and Friend. I confess that often my lack of knowledge of You is the direct cause of my insecurity, inconsistency, insufficiency and vacillation in my life and in my prayers.
Lord, I commit this day to seeking to know You better, To open my true self to You; I desire to be real, honest and vulnerable with You; I invite You to invade every aspect of my life. Show me Your will and give me the strength and courage to follow Your guidance. Help me to dedicate myself to making the knowledge of You my first priority. Reveal Your grace and goodness, Your righteousness and power as life on life's terms becomes a joy filled adventure engaged in frequent visits to the mercy seat of the One who refines me in the fire of Your love. It is a miracle, as a new and unspeakably holy freedom is experienced and explored, the old life has passed away, a new life begun.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic powerful prayer... Thank you...Armand
DeleteFor me, the ultimate question of Steps 6 and 7 is - am I willing (first) and then ready to become the person I was born to be? In order for that to occur, my defects have to be removed AND replaced. Even though these defects led me to my alcoholic knees, giving them up meant having to fill a void I didn't know how to fill.....or with what. In the program of recovery I learned that only by integrating all Twelve Steps into my life in such a way that they would become my life would I find the path to me through The Power Within me. My human nature failed me because it is human only. Through conscious contact with my inner divine nature, failure doesn't exist. I do.
ReplyDeleteMichael difficult to give up that which worked for us in supplying that which we thought we needed. However a life lived in the will of God requires little effort if any in so doing...Thank you...Armand
DeleteSuch a beautiful topic.
ReplyDeleteBecoming for me has has always meant improving myself, with knowledge, connections, degrees, races won. It meant pushing every limit to feed my ego.
I pushed on every edge of the ego, with alcohol as my fuel, until the image cracked and broke.
Now there was nothing, and a path opened through the grace of God. This path was laid out very simply as the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, not an easy process but a mighty and necessary one, guided by an astute sponsor(how fortunate we are to have sponsors!).
The 12 steps were the equivalent of the Red Sea parting for me.
I began to understand the difference between being and doing.
Being now means for me living God’s divine purpose for me.
I could not see my divine purpose in the throes of alcoholism and egoism.
Through working the 12 steps of AA, the hurdles that blocked my path were slowly lifted and I began to live into this limitless being, sourced only by the God of my understanding.
Aggie H
Aggie loved when you wrote "the 12 Steps were like the Red Sea parting for me."...Thank you...Armand
DeleteSin is often described as our separation from God. When God breathed the Holy Spirit into the life of Adam and Eve and then disobeyed Him, we have succumbed to our ego and fears. Alcohol kept me from the will of God because of my ego and fear. "Pride comes before the fall." So I was taught that alcohol was but a symptom of my true malady. Ego and fear. That is what separates me from God. So I have dedicated my life to the narrow path back to Him (Matt 7:13-14). My road isn't perfect yet. But the program of Alcoholics Anonymous has shown me to live my life as a loose garment on this earth, because my real purpose is to spend eternity with the Lord in the Spirit. I have a long walk ahead of me.
ReplyDeleteJim great to be a fellow traveler with you...Thank you..
ReplyDeleteArmand