While assembling my 4th step resentment list I found that the best way to cope with the resentments was to first pray for and forgive those that were on my list. In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous in the chapter "How It Works" it states, "...we realize that the people who had wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick. Though we did not like their symptoms and the way they disturbed us they, like ourselves, were sick too. We ask God to help us grant them the same tolerance, pity and patience we would grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, 'Perhaps this is a sick person, how can I be helpful to them? God save me from being angry, Thy will be done.' God will show us how to take a kind and tolerant view of each and everyone." As I drew closer to God this began to happen naturally, as it can as well for you.
As an alcoholic I do find that resentment is the number one malfeasance to a serene and peaceful life. If we are to have a clear state of consciousness that is free of conflict; if we are to lead an addiction-free life - a life in which resentment doesn't cause such conflict in our mind then manifest in our behavior - then we must let go of all of our human resentments. There is often no way possible to do this without the aid of the Highest Power. "That One is God may you find Him now."
Written by Armand
Written by Armand
The "sick man" prayer is a great tool for getting over a resentment. Sometimes it's the only tool that works, even after doing inventory and finding out where I "set the ball rolling" and how I placed myself "in a position to be hurt." There are times when, on the most stubborn of resentments, only prayer will work. Thanks for the reminder to pick up and use the tool! I often prefer to wallow in a resentment for weeks or months before I realize I must get over it. But resentment is the "number one offender," as the book says, so get over it I must.
ReplyDeleteDan resentment is the manifestation of our self centered fear,,,Thank you...Armand
DeleteIt's the everyday resentments that are the benchmark of my recovery, not the obvious capital letter Resentments. They have been either removed or neutralized through prayer and forgiveness. Instead, my serenity and peace of mind is directly signaled by those daily disturbances - the too-slow cashier, the too-fast driver, the line jumper, the scene-stealer. It is my reaction and action to these commonplace irritants that enable me know in whose Will I'm actually living. There is no question that my spiritual sustenance is based on the degree to which I live in The Steps - in "such a way" that they have changed and become my life. For me the answer lies in the integration of all Twelve Steps into my daily living. In that process, the pervasiveness of resentments is healed by the ointment of action. The action of Big Book recovery.
ReplyDeleteMichael as time passes a recovered alcoholic is in continuous inventory although not aware of it. Then product of the will of God...Thank you...Armand
DeleteMatthew 6: 14-15
ReplyDelete"For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
I have to rid myself of resentments for one very good reason: I will drink again. I will drink again because because when I hold onto resentments my spirit suffers more and more as time goes on. Eventually I enter into becoming mentally unstable because I rely on my screwed up logic and emotions. I don't see clearly. My ego runs riot. Peace only is possible when I put God as my priority.
AA's approach for me to see how my behavior is at least part if not all of the problem. Steps 4,5,6,7,8 & 9 transforms my resentments into an admission of my wrongs to people I have harmed who I also held resentments. It is an amazing outcome and turn of events. It transforms our lives. It allows us to be reborn.
Jim the practice of the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous becomes a way of life, a real life...Thank you...Armand
DeleteArmand,
ReplyDeleteIn AA we close the meetings in a very special way. Lets continue to contemplate the "The Lords Prayer," specifically, how many times our hearts have stumbled over those words “ Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive others" and the glorious freedom contained within, not only for my own life but the lives of those still living in the bondage of self. The Author of this prayer has called each of us to the awesome opportunity of intercessory prayer. And so I pray, Dear Lord God, today I want to pray for all those You have placed on my heart who are in distress because of the guilt and shame of unforgiven sin in their lives. I know from my own life the pain and anguish my sins have caused me and those around me and now out of gratitude and praise for Your forgiveness I want to pray for those people whom have harmed me and that I need to learn to love and forgive just as You have loved me.
Lord, I desire that I become a willing instrument of Your love and yet I confess it's difficult to love others as You have loved me. Lord, please heal those memories that act as a barrier to Your grace. As I continue my prayer my mind is flooded by people I have used for my own purposes with little or no thought of what was best for them yet I am eternally comforted that You have completely forgiven me. Please, help me to make amends to them and forgive them for any imagined slight I may have used to justify my former selfish attitudes and actions . Lord, open their hearts to Your love through me. Show me how I can be a partaker of your pursuit of them. Enable me to fully apprehend that to truly love my enemies is to will the ultimate good of another by my every thought act and deed so that I may be able to "comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passes all understanding and be filled with the fullness of God."
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic Amen...Thank you...Armand
ReplyDelete