I have learned through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous that I have three basic instincts: a social, a sexual and a security instinct. These instincts are God given and necessary for life, but in me I can never get enough of what it is I think I need. The great psychiatrist Sigmund Freud defines an instinct as, "a bodily need manifested in our thought process.".
Through the twelve steps I have learned that alcohol is but a symptom of our true malady - our true malady being self-centered fear. We are afraid that we are not going to get what we want and that we are going to lose what we have. Once our fear is triggered we reach for our character defects in an attempt to satiate our instincts, but we can never get enough of what it is we think we need. We are then left running around, chasing our tails, creating havoc in our lives but, more importantly, havoc in the lives of everyone around us. This malady of self-centered fear is the functioning piece of alcoholism and any other ism.
The solution to the disease of addiction is a vital spiritual experience. We must give life to our relationship with God. How? By letting go of our human nature so our thought process is no longer propelled by our instincts, but rather by the will of God through inspiration,
Written By Armand
Written By Armand
Michael C.
ReplyDeleteThe Big Book identified, isolated, and simplified the problem: misguided instincts which could never be satisfied without a spiritual experience. The Power Within me is stronger than any of my instincts and is the only source of the satisfaction needed to satisfy my fearful mind. But how do I reach That Power? The answer for me is to integrate all Twelve Steps into my life in such a way that they become my life and thus, I become enough - enough in every way. I am safe enough, I am approved of enough, I am loved enough by me - through The Power Within me. To live and function as the person I was born to be required letting go of my empty self and finding wholeness within the program of recovery. The lost and the found of my human/divine experience.
Michael as you described so well a life lived as God meant it...Thank you...Armand
DeleteI've lived out that hyper exaggerated delusional belief in my own importance. I justified every unrestrained journey into my God given appetites with unholy zeal. I deliberately left God out of the equation. The result? I was a hollow, walking, talking bottomless layer of gilt and shame, terrified by the ever-present fear of having my true self discovered and inner "daemons" exposed. There was... no real good in me to be found. To be honest, there was no me at all. Just a self created caricature, a mere bundle of personas alternately exercised to gain acceptance and ultimate possession of the person, place or thing I craved.
ReplyDeleteYet, the effects of God's presence were everywhere and all about me. In overheard conversations, the random kindness of a stranger, witnessed displays of true love and affection, a baby's furtive glance. That, was the life I craved in fleeting moments of sanity.
It was the impossible desire of becoming a part of that world that finally drove me to my knees and the Ultimate Author of that vision. I finally began to apprehend the radical change encountered in "How it Works." I asked for His protection and care with complete abandon and as I laid that wretched life before Him, all the accumulated gilt and shame of 37 years fled into infinity... And miraculously, in its place, in this heart of a still very imperfect man, now resides the very Holy Spirit of God. The memory of that first encounter is as fresh in my mind as it was some 34 years ago. Today, I'm strangely thankful I discovered alcohol and the inevitable misery it brings. Without it, I would never have walked through the doors and into the fellowship of AA. I would have never encountered the Steps that lead to the "Peace of God that surpasses all understanding." (Philippians 4:7) I would never have come to know my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. And, my beloved brother, neither would you.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic driven to our knees under the lash of alcoholism we became open to the idea of a Spiritual solution to our problem...Thank you...Armand
DeleteIt's hard enough as an alcoholic to develop my spiritual instincts in order to conquer my out of control human instincts, but I also have to battle the current culture that accentuates the unbridled self centeredness. The evil one is working all my weaknesses to conquer my soul. But the Lord, through His grace, has provided me "the spiritual tools at my feet" in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. My Creator has taken my weaknesses of being an alcoholic to lead me to a way of living He intended me to live. Serenity. Temperance. Prudence. And all the fruits of the Holy Spirits has to offer.
ReplyDeleteJim as a Christian we believe that God rose again from the dead so that God's Spirit would be with us. a virtuous life is the result of letting go of our human instinct so that the God within us can be manifested in our behavior...Thank you...Armand
DeleteAlcoholism is the "disease of more" as it has been aptly called. And as you put it, I can never get enough-- there was never enough booze to fill that "hole in the soul" at the center of my being. In addition to alcohol I poured money, property, prestige, accomplishment, excitement, sex and other things into that void but there was never enough to fill me, to make me okay. It turned out the hole was a God-sized hole. If the malady of self-centered fear is the functioning piece of alcoholism, then the active ingredient in recovery is the "psychic change." A spiritual awakening. A vital spiritual experience. Finding a Higher Power, and allowing that Power into every corner of my life, means I no longer need "more." I have enough, and am enough.
ReplyDeleteDan Great stuff. the ISM in Alcoholism stands for "in search of more."...Thank you...Armand
DeleteIt has been my experience that I desperately fear that my instincts will not be met, so it is my nature to demand I get what I want, it is hard for me to completely let go of the fear that I have within myself, I am holding on, instead of simply letting it go.
ReplyDeleteI need to remember that God is there to provide and my needs are being met, my wants are never satisfied. I seek to find acceptance with my reality and let go of the story that lives me afraid and not good enough. I am ok and if I remember I am exactly where I need to be...trusting God, I am truly ok just for today. I pray that my thought process will no longer be propelled by my instincts, rather by the will of God.
Jessica
Jessica a life in the present is a life free of anxiety...Thank you...Armand
ReplyDelete