Thereafter having admitted that I was alcoholic I soon found out that alcohol in and of itself was not my problem, but was the manifestation of my problem. The true problem was self-centered fear - afraid that I was not going to get what I want and afraid that I was going to lose what I had.In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous it says, "When dealing with the fear problem, or any other problem, perhaps there is a better way as we are now on a different basis, the basis of trusting and relying upon God. We trust infinite God rather than finite self. We are in the world to play the role God assigns. Just to the extent we do as we think God would have us do and humbly rely on God, does God enable us to match calamity with serenity. We never apologize to anyone for depending on our creator. We can laugh at those who think spirituality is the way of weakness. The verdict of the ages is that faith means courage. All possessors of faith have courage. They trust their God. We let God demonstrate through us what God can do. We ask God to remove our fear and direct our attention to what we should be doing. At once, we commence to outgrow fear."
The integration of the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous into our lives leads to a personal relationship with God. Prior to that occurring, fear haunted all of our being, was in all of our moments, driving all of our decisions in an attempt to satiate our instincts. We were afraid that we were not going to get what we wanted and afraid that we were going to lose what we had. Today, in this moment, that can change. That will change for all of us if we are in alignment with God's will for us. We will then know a peace we have never before experienced.
Written by Armand
As you point out, fear was all-consuming even as I developed clever ways of hiding it or trying to evade it. My life was an angry retaliation against fear although I didn't intellectually understand that. As a result, I just flailed at life like a drowning man, eventually finding myself completely and abjectly drained of all energy. Alcohol was the immediate solution but, of course, I needed more each day as it termited even more fear into the undrunk hours of each day (not many). Spiritual paralysis! And yes, the integration of all Twelve Steps into my life in such a way that they became my life has emancipated me, fulfilled me, awakened me to The Power Within me and to the personal relationship this integration process has enabled. The relationship is the all-encompassing Gift, providing certainty against fear and direction for love. From me to you and from you to me.
ReplyDeleteMichael God either is or He isn't. Sooner or later each alcoholic must answer that question if they are to recover from a seemingly hopeless state nof mind and body...thank you...Armand
ReplyDeleteArmand
ReplyDeleteWithout God, life was a tepid stumble through a virtual "house of mirrors" only to eventually become the distorted image reflected in every wavy glass. The very instant I surrendered to God I passed, not into a new world, but an entirely new dimension, bathed in crystal clarity and a sure knowledge that the God I once rejected and now accepted was in complete control of the world that once baffled me.
Prayerfully, In His presence, is an instantaneous awareness that the old familiar self taught survival skills and situational ethics once relied upon to preserve a false flag adventure of two dimensional living must be forever abandoned. Serenity now only hinges upon my willingness to accept, by His grace, His divinely inspired seeds of faith that continuously casts out fear as my imperfect apprehension of that faith is refined in practice, throughout the day, in the fire of His perfect guidance and eternal love.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic the miracle is that a defiant alcoholic has the grace to become a compliant alcoholic placing the needs of others above their own...thank you...Armand
Delete