While assembling my 4th step resentment list I found that the best way to cope with the resentments was to first pray for and forgive those that were on my list. In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous in the chapter "How It Works" it states, "...we realize that the people who had wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick. Though we did not like their symptoms and the way they disturbed us they, like ourselves, were sick too. We ask God to help us grant them the same tolerance, pity and patience we would grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, 'Perhaps this is a sick person, how can I be helpful to them? God save me from being angry, Thy will be done.' God will show us how to take a kind and tolerant view of each and everyone." As I drew closer to God this began to happen naturally, as it can as well for you.
As an alcoholic I do find that resentment is the number one malfeasance to a serene and peaceful life. If we are to have a clear state of consciousness that is free of conflict; if we are to lead an addiction-free life - a life in which resentment doesn't cause such conflict in our mind then manifest in our behavior - then we must let go of all of our human resentments. There is often no way possible to do this without the aid of the Highest Power. "That One is God may you find Him now."
Written by Armand
Written by Armand
I have an injury called plantar fasciitis, a "wear and tear" condition caused by over forty years of heavy running. The injury is located in the heel which makes it difficult to heal. Hard to walk without a healthy heel. Every step aches. It is stubborn and averse to any truly effective conventional remedy. It can last months, even years. It is the proverbial rock in one's shoe. For me, resentments are exactly the same. They exist both on the surface and beneath it, especially beneath it. They effect everything - emotional, spiritual, and even physical. Talk about a number one offender, talk about a chronic spiritual injury! From my experience, the only effective treatment for resentments has been to integrate all Twelve Steps into my life in such a way that they have become my life -and my way of life. The Big Book program of recovery presents us with the ultimate gift of right-sizedness. We learn who we are and then become who we want to be. Our only obligation for this gift is to give it all away.
ReplyDeleteMichael a life lived in the will of God is the antidote for resentment...thank you...Armand
DeleteI can have a tendency to hold on and suffer, when I carry the resentment I am not able to move forward. I am staring at the past I can’t change. I have to be free of anger. I need to stop fighting and surrender them to God. I can write it out, pray and ask God to take it away. I recognize my part, admit my wrong and try not to contiue refeeling it. God, help me let go. I don’t want to carry the resentments any longer. I know that when I drop them I feel lighter and better able to trudge along the road of happy destiny. I trust that God will take them away. To be free of the anger allows for joy, peace & forgiveness.
ReplyDeleteJessica a life free of resentment is a joyful life...Thank you...Armand
DeleteArmand,
ReplyDeleteLets contemplate the "The Lords Prayer," specifically, how many times our hearts have stumbled over those words " as we forgive others" and the glorious freedom contained within, not only for my own life but the lives of those still living in the bondage of self. The Author of this prayer has called each of us to the awesome opportunity of intercessory prayer. And so I pray, Dear God today I want to pray for all those You have placed on my heart who are in distress because of the guilt and shame of unforgiven sin in their lives. I know from my own life the pain and anguish my sins have caused me and those around me and now out of gratitude and praise for Your forgiveness I want to pray for those people whom have harmed me and that I need to learn to love just as You have loved me.
Lord, I desire that I become a willing instrument of Your love and yet I confess it's difficult to love others as You have loved me. As I continue my prayer my mind is flooded by people I have used for my own purposes with little or no thought of what was best for them. Yet, I am eternally comforted that despite the selfish actions done in the past by me to others, You have completely forgiven me. Please, help me also to forgive them. Lord, open their hearts to Your love through me. Show me how I can be a partaker of your pursuit of them. Enable me to fully apprehend that to truly love my enemies is to will the ultimate good of another by my every thought act and deed so that I may be able to "comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passes all understanding and be filled with the fullness of God."
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic.
a Grateful recovering Alcoholic empathy for others is a gift of a life lived with God...thank you...Armand
DeleteI like the recommendation of praying for those I have a resentment. I will do it. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI often just follow the 4th step worksheet for resentments in the Big Book. For some reason the resentment is ALWAYS triggered by own ego and lack of humility. Fear is the main culprit with some attack on my sense of pride. It is often well hidden below many layers of rational thought but self grandiosity is what I'm trying to protect. It is a daily struggle until I out our Lord first in my prayers thoughts and actions. Still working on it...
jim anyone who says time doesn't matter in AA doesn't have any time. It does take time to understand the power of our human nature which than makes us more dependent on God. Keep up your good work...Thank you...Armand
ReplyDelete