In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous it says, "When we encountered A.A., the fallacy of our defiance was revealed. At no time had we asked what God's will was for us; instead we had been telling Him what it ought to be. No man, we saw, could believe in God and defy Him, too. Belief meant RELIANCE, NOT DEFIANCE. In A.A. we saw the fruits of this belief: men and women spared from alcohol's final catastrophe. We saw them meet and transcend their other pains and trials. We saw them calmly accept impossible situations, seeking neither to run nor to recriminate. This was not only faith; it was faith that worked under all conditions. We soon concluded that whatever price in humility we must pay, we would pay."Written by Armand
Why was I defiant in the first place? The answer to that question has told me a great deal, as I've learned that it lies within the limitations of my very nature as a human being. In the Big Book program of recovery, I had to go through the process of truly facing myself - my fears and limitations - in finding a way to reconcile my defiance in light of my greater desire to have a spiritual awakening. The Steps and the guidance of a knowing sponsor took me there. As a result, I no longer live in abject fear but instead in complete trust and reliance on The Power Within me. That does not make me a miracle but it does confirm that I am the beneficiary of The Ultimate Gift. With it comes the obligation to live in this moment and to give away exactly what I've been given.
ReplyDeleteMichael our defiant nature cannot manifest itself in our behavior once our nature has been surrendered and subrogated to the will of God. a reliance on God in every area of our life will bring peace to our daily life...Thank you...Armand
ReplyDeleteI have to work steps 10 and 11 all the time in order to keep the reliance on God and not shift into defiance. If I take my will back I move to defiance and my defects such as jealousy, anger and others manifest themselves. I have to constantly ask what is Gods will and then when He is in control I am in control. Otherwise my life spirals out of control and its an unpleasant path. All I have to do is follow the guidance on page 86 and 87 and pause when agitated remembering that ego deflation is essential ‘edging God out.’
ReplyDeleteAnne prayer and meditation and a spot check inventory are essential to a Real reliance on God...Thank you...Armand
DeleteWrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy and but not least, gluttony. Each represents the essence of unrestrained human nature. All find their foundation in self-worship, none can be abandoned by anything short of a miracle. This is the bucket of muddy water I carried through the doors of AA and were it not for a crippling and overwhelming desperation I would never have crouched to enter through that low and narrow gate.
ReplyDeleteTruly, God Himself had been walking beside me all along, even during the most depraved events of my prodigal journey. Loving and reaching out past my every act of unwavering defiance. His only one desire for me? That I surrender to His unspeakable love, accept the price he paid for me and invite Him to dwell within my heart. The 12 Steps and fellowship of AA brought into crystal clarity the faith hope and charity that is the grace of the Eternal Author's gift, freely offered to all who would receive it.
And having received Him, I have been invited to be a partaker in all that His Presence provides; true love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Yes, just for today, I pray that I will more clearly see His Presence in this world, in circumstances, in people, in the new person He is creating in me and celebrate the new life He is creating in others! Lord, I want to start this day with a pure heart so that I will experience more of the wonder of Your grace and goodness.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic..