Step One in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous requires an admission to our innermost self that we are alcoholic. As difficult as this is, we see the progression not only in the amount of alcohol we consumed but the negative effects the alcohol was having on our bodies and on our lives. This realization comes after we declare, "I am an alcoholic" (or "I am an addict") and after we had a desire not to drink and not to use. We had to make an admission that we were powerless over alcohol, over drugs, over our reckless behaviors, and that our lives had indeed become unmanageable. We drank, used, and behaved the way our disease willed us to and so many of us relapsed time and time again over events and circumstances in our lives. The happenstances of our lives are only excuses as the real reason we lapsed was because we only wanted or had one foot in the program, and one foot out of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous.
In Chapter Five of the "Big Book" of Alcoholics Anonymous entitled "How It Works" states, "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program." We can chose not to thoroughly follow the path and so we do not completely give ourselves to this simple program as we are so very defiant by nature. The result of such defiance is relapse (if we are lucky, death if we are not).
It is true that an admission is required. It is true that we must admit complete defeat. It is true that our lives are unmanageable. It is true that we must admit to our innermost self that we are alcoholic, that we are addict, that we are amok with disease. It is true that we must surrender to the program of AA. Once we have made all of these admissions we must integrate the program of AA into our lives in such a way that it becomes our life. Then maybe, just maybe, for the first time in our existence we will have a life... a real life...a joyful, loved-filled life.
Written by Armand
In my case, for the first time in my life I actually found a life - in AA. Admission of powerlessness over alcohol wasn't a problem for me. But the consequences of that powerlessness required more work. I had to look into my innermost self far more closely than I ever realized. Why? Because an alcoholic without a new life is someone who has missed the Promises of Recovery in AA. Admitting that I had to humble myself, fully incorporate all Twelve Steps into my life, commit to helping another alcoholic, and find a personal, working relationship with A Power Greater than myself was the work I needed to do. In order to be most effective in doing that work, I needed the guidance of a knowing sponsor and a commitment to the path to recovery specifically suggested in the black and white pages of The Big Book. That is what was necessary for me. An admission that I was missing me, and that I would never find me without the presence of The Power Within me and within all of us. Alcohol brought me to my knees. AA brought me to my feet.
ReplyDeleteMichael great line "alcohol brought me to my knees, AA brought me to my feet." As our awareness of God gains power we move from being on our feet to a walk, to a trot and finally to a full gallop in celebration of the freedom from self...Thank you...Armand
Delete