In the Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous in the chapter "How It Works" it states, "The first requirement (in taking the Third Step) is that we be convinced that any life run on self will can hardly be a success. Remember that we deal with alcohol - cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power - that One is God. May you find Him now!" It also says "Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles... So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making...and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness... And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid."
We have learned through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous that we have three basic instincts. These instincts are God given and necessary for life, but in me I can never get enough of what it is I think I need. The great psychiatrist Sigmund Freud defines an instinct as "a bodily need manifested in our thought process." What occurs for us as an alcoholic is our instincts manifest themselves in our thought process and trigger our self-centered fear. We learned through the program that alcohol is but a symptom of OUR TRUE MALADY. Any addiction is such. OUR TRUE MALADY is self-centered fear: afraid that we are not going to get what we want, afraid that we will lose what we have. Once our fear is triggered we reach for our character defects in an attempt to satiate our instincts. The only problem is that in us we can never get enough of what it is that we think we need, then we run around chasing our tails creating havoc in our lives - but more importantly, havoc in the lives of everyone around us. This is the functioning piece of alcoholism.
As an alcoholic we have a compulsive need to defend our basic human instincts, often to an extreme. This manifestation of our character defects is a result of our self-centered fear that permeates our lives. Alcohol is but a symptom of OUR TRUE MALADY. OUR TRUE MALADY is SELF-CENTERED FEAR.
Why? Why, if centered completely on myself, was I filled with fear. In this case, the question and the answer are one-and-the-same. Only-me means only fear. In the program of recovery, centered on The Big Book, I've learned that it is The Power Within me that completes me, makes me whole, attaches my humanity to my spirit. If my true malady is only-me fear, then my true recovery is Power Within me fearlessness. Alcohol was never the answer to what was wrong with me. Alcohol simply filled in the blanks. It was in those blanks where the ultimate malady resided. The Great Reality is that it is only deep down inside me where The Power exists and may be found. It is only through that Power that I can return to the person I was created to be. The true recovery from the true malady.
ReplyDeleteMichael as we become the human being God created us to be by surrendering our nature to the will of God the outcome of that ia as you said "attaches my humanity to my spirit....Thank you...Armand
DeleteThis Comment Is From A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic
ReplyDeleteThanks for Sharing Armand,
Self centered pride, fear, and covetousness indeed dwell at the core of the alcoholic mind. Yet, a casual glance at the world at large confirms that these regrettable characteristics are not the exclusive estate of the alcoholic. Even the most sober minded and spiritual among us suffer the same cravings of misdirected appetites and any denial of our true condition is the primal delusion that must be rooted out and tossed into the pit from which it originated. It is a core spiritual estate that cannot even be recognized let alone overcome without Devine intervention. One of the greatest saints who ever lived wrote of this nearly 2000 years ago and I'll defer to the problem he identified and the solution he discovered.
Romans 7: 14 - 24
14 We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
21 So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!
Even when I inwardly, rationally agree that the course I choose may ultimately lead to self destruction I will still "throw the dice" as my appetite demands hoping for a better outcome, and that my friend is insanity... Simple knowledge of my condition is of no avail until I fully accept that I'm completely, constitutionally incapable of overcoming my own will and, any self powered effort in that direction is tantamount to placing a hair net over the space shuttle with the expectation of preventing the launch.
Any attempt at "externally" practicing the 12 Steps of AA, without fully embracing an absolute dependence upon God as the only source of Power will only produce a "white knuckle" shadow of recovery. And will never produce the peace and assurance that is the immutable fabric of the serenity experienced by life lived in the arms of their Savior and Lord. There is only One who can enter the tomb and breathe life into the fetid state of a long dead spirit or provide a Damascus Road meeting with the Author of Light. That one is God. May you find him now.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic the Scripture from Romans is why being a "Big Book Thumper", that is knowing the book in the sense that you know what page material is on etc. is of no avail to one who has not surrendered their nature to the will of God...Thanks...Armand
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