In the Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous in the chapter "How It Works"
it states, "The first requirement (for the taking of the Third Step) is
that we be convinced that any life run on self will can hardly be a
success. Remember that we deal with alcohol - cunning, baffling,
powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has
all power - that One is God. May you find Him now!" It also says
"Selfishness - self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our
troubles... So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making... and the
alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he
usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must
be rid of this selfishness... And there often seems no way of entirely
getting rid of self without His aid."
We have
learned through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous that we have three
basic instincts. These instincts are God given and necessary for
life, but in me I can never get enough of what it is I think I need. The
great psychiatrist Sigmund Freud defines an instinct as "a bodily need
manifested in our thought process." What occurs for us as an
alcoholic is our instincts manifest themselves in our thought process
and trigger our self-centered fear. We learned through the program that alcohol is but a symptom of OUR TRUE MALADY. Any addiction is such.
OUR TRUE MALADY is self-centered fear: afraid that we are not going to
get what we want, afraid that we will lose what we have. Once our fear
is triggered we reach for our character defects in an attempt to satiate
our instincts. The only problem is that in us we can never get enough
of what it is that we think we need, then we run around chasing our
tails creating havoc in our lives - but more importantly, havoc in the
lives of everyone around us. This is the functioning piece of alcoholism.
As an alcoholic we have a compulsive
need to defend our basic human instincts, often to an extreme. This
manifestation of our character defects is a result of our self-centered
fear that permeates our lives. Alcohol is but a symptom of OUR TRUE
MALADY. OUR TRUE MALADY is SELF-CENTERED FEAR.
Written by Armand
Edited by Caitlin Alexandra
The presence of fear in my life negated the working value of my great instincts. Somehow fear as a human being became the central and most negative force in my life. My fears were unknown and unwarranted. They were also tyrannical. With fear as the underpinning of my thoughts, my behavior didn't stand a chance. I was in prisoners in a self-created isolation cell of self. But I was desperate enough to be clever until I picked up my first glass of gin. I was immediately addicted. Self-reliance had failed me totally. Through The Twelve Steps and under the guidance of a living-in-the-program-of-recovery sponsor, I was able to develop and sustain a relationship with The Power Within me Who is Love, the opposite of fear. So, today, I know my true malady, and I know where I must live to be free of it. The result is far beyond the absence of fear. It is the presence of freedom directed by The Power of all Powers. Within me.
ReplyDeleteMichael self will, our basic human instincts propelling our thought process, is what must be abandoned if we are to be free. Our thought process propelled by the will of God received through inspiration and maximized by prayer and meditation is how we must live every day, in this day , in this moment...Thank you...Armand
DeleteMy self-centered ego bases its fears upon the world and how it treats me, as opposed to a selfless-natured spirit which seeks what can be done for the world AND takes action in doing so. Without the guidance and inspiration from God that I receive through prayer and continuous, deliberate contact with Him I would not know how truly sick my soul is without Him, nor would I be made aware of the truth concerning my blundered ego. If I were running a power plant and I didn't know how to run it - accidents, misery and tragedy would ensue. If I instead put trust in the all-knowing source, the inner workings of it all come together swiftly and without strain. When I try to take back my power I must remember that this is not only my life, it is the life which was bestowed to others as a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a potential light for one lost in the shadows to follow. What ordained power do I have to take the life away that was meant for others, and for Him? None. My prayers have an underlying and almighty theme under which I ask for His will, not mine, to be done AND the power to carry that out.
ReplyDeleteCaitlin the purpose of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous is to bring us to a place where we are living in the will of God in this moment. In that place we are reliant and trusting of God free of the manifestation of our defects and of the obsession to drink. It is the only place we can live and no one can depict the will of God for us...Thank you...Armand
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