The day I stood in the parking lot drunk such a long time ago a most fortunate event occurred. I bumped into the only person I knew who was in AA. Such kindness he showed me - by speaking with me and taking me to my first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting that very night. It was there at that meeting that I raised my hand and said "my name is Armand and I am an alcoholic." Some seven years passed from that first night until I admitted complete defeat. Those seven intervening years proved difficult ones in my life as a direct result of alcohol. Fortunately, I did survive a bottom those seven years produced from which I could push up from.Since admitting complete defeat I have been blessed with a passion for the program of Alcoholics Anonymous which has given me a life, - a REAL life. I know that in order to keep that life I must give it away. In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous it says, "the entire load must be given away." It also states, "Our very lives as ex problem drinkers depends upon our constant thought of others." In the rooms, when I see a newcomer or someone there for their first time to my home group I will walk up to them, shake their hand and introduce myself. When anyone in AA asks for help of any kind, and certainly when I am asked by someone to take them through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous by reading the Big Book together, I say "Yes" - as perhaps that is the day they receive their KERNEL of faith, as I once did when I was blessed by another's kindness. Through just a KERNEL of faith, maybe, just maybe, they will be on their way to recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body.
Written by Armand
Armand,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing.
That first "kernel" of surrender to the truth of our self enslaved condition subsequently leads to the only true path to freedom from that enslavement and, once freed, can in no wise be hidden or hoarded… True Salvation and the serenity that follows, by it’s very nature, compels us to share our experience, strength and hope with all whom we thereafter encounter who are still still struggling to enter that low and narrow gate that leads to a saving knowledge of God and the ultimate peace and power that only that first holy encounter and subsequent relationship brings.
It’s still impossible to put into words the deep sense of freedom I felt when I finally admitted my condition and raised my hand to proclaim: “My name is Emil and I am an alcoholic.” Although I didn’t fully realize it at the time, that first act of true humility placed me on the threshold of Gods true purpose and plan for my life and although there were and still are life's challenges to overcome, the blessings of turning my will and my life over to God 35 years ago multiply day by day and are far too many to count. And like you my brother, the greatest of which is the ability and opportunity to share that ongoing experience with all I encounter both inside and outside of the rooms..
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic blessed by the will of God love is all we are capable of...Thank you...Armand
DeleteMy experience has confirmed that everyone has a kernel. Sadly, however, not all are able to locate it and grow in its strength. Without question, it is the "taproot" from which my spirit springs to life, and comes to know the sunlight of the spirit. Only by integrating all Twelve Steps into my life in such a way that they have become my life have I located the kernel deep down within me - through The Power Within me.. Talk, abstinence, promises, will power etc. are all necessary but, for me, the program of recovery begins with The Big Book and never ends. The kernel has led me to the Gift. The Gift to be given away
ReplyDeleteMichael you are a testament to Giving it away after your Experience yesterday...Thank you...Armand
ReplyDelete