When I become angry or resentful, it is in that moment that I manifest my human SELF-CENTEREDNESS. In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous it says "that we think is the root of our troubles." It also goes on to say "It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise point that we permit these do we squander the hours that might have been worthwhile. But with the alcoholic whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found it fatal! For when harboring such thoughts we cut ourselves off from the sunlight of the spirit."The solution to our alcoholism is a vital spiritual experience. We must give life to our relationship with God. We accomplish this by turning from our human nature and living in the will of God. We receive God's will through inspiration conditioned by prayer and meditation. We can't possibly be in the will of God when we are manifesting SELF - CENTEREDNESS in our lives , but by sobrogating our human nature to the will of God we cannot possibly manifest the SELF - CENTEREDNESS of our human nature in our behavior.
Written By Armand
From what I've learned in the Big Book program of recovery, my resentments can only exist in my fear-based, self-centered human nature. They can not and do not exist in the superhuman vitally spiritual nature that is the often-elusive core of my existence. It is only by integrating all Twelve Steps into my life that I can give life to the relationship with The Power Within me. When that occurs, I am living where and how I was born to live. Regardless of my human ego and urges, experiencing the requisite vital spiritual experience is what I had been searching for throughout my entire existence. It had never been so clearly defined or explained as it is in chapters of the Big Book. It is the ultimate paradox that being leveled by alcoholism would lead to being centered in recovery. As long as I freely return the Gift that was so freely given to me.
ReplyDeleteMichael when i see my character defects manifested in my behavior I know at that time I am in my nature and not in the will of God....Thank you...Armand
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ReplyDeleteArmand,
ReplyDeleteTrue humility simply cannot exist in the mind and heart of a self-centered thinker. Humility, that state of being a God centered being only occurs as we spend time; serious time, in the presence of the Master, prayerfully communing with Him, seeking out His will and guidance in every moment so that our very lives begin to become the essence of His prayer, not just for us personally, but for All-of-His-Children. He cares for each and every one of us the same. And yes, even those whom through ignorance of their lost state have spitefully used and abused us...
It is a fact that from the time I left my mothers womb Gods will has always been the diametric opposite of my own. Always inconvenient and never focused on what I believed should have been the proper “spin" on the world for that day.. No one had to teach me how to lie, steal, cheat or throw a tantrum when my demands weren’t met. That unfortunate behavior came as natural to me as as breathing. And I would humbly suggest I am not alone. Anyone who has children or closely observed them from afar, if totally honest, will agree with that fact. This well hidden self-centered pride pollutes everything. It stunts my spiritual growth, hobbles my relationships and causes me to miss Gods blessings. When I allow pride to reign, life becomes bland, truth becomes relative and values become debased.
And so I pray: Lord, You only ask that I believe You are who You say You and that I am in total need of You in my life. Please help me to become evermore willing to let You change my life for the better. Help me to avoid the calling of my sin nature and bear unimpeachable testimony to your intervention into my life. Forgive me when I look away from you for even an instant and plummet into the all too imaginary raging waves of life as did Peter in the Sea of Galilee when he took his eyes from you. For only when my mind is firmly planted upon Your Word and gloriously sweet Presence will I have the power to face the ambiguities of today with the absolutes of Your truth, guidance, grace and love with all whom you place upon my path.
I am grateful for the truth of Your words Jesus as recorded in Matthew 11:28 - 30, "Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." It is at this juncture, as I surrender my yet limited understanding of life on life's terms that I again begin to be inspired by the Master, think the Masters thoughts and do the things the Master does as He progressively becomes the only object and destination of my journey.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic the back half of the 11th Step says "praying only for knowledge of Gods will for us and the Power to carry it out."...Thank you...Armand
DeleteWhen I entered the program, I thought I couldn't be self-centered because after all, I had always been self-deprecating, insecure, low-self-esteem-- why, those were the very things I drank over! How could a person like me be "selfish and self-centered?" If anything I was a victim of those self-centered types! But after being in recovery for a while I learned how self-centered I truly was, because even though my thoughts were usually negative, they were always only about Me. "I may not be much, but I'm all that I think of," as the AA saying goes. Page 86 warns us of the danger of "morbid reflection" and that's all my mind was usually doing-- morbidly reflecting on my tragic history, my resentments, my wants, fears, sense of victimization. Today thanks to God and the Steps, I am grateful for being right-sized-- neither the greatest person nor the worst, but somewhere in the middle, just another one of God's kids hopefully doing the best I can. And when my life is good these days, it's because of true humility, which comes from directing my thoughts to God's will and away from my own.
ReplyDeleteDan a life lived in the will of God is a life worth living...Thank you...Armand
ReplyDeleteIn AA we are taught to live a life of unselfish services to others.
ReplyDeleteIn AA we are taught to lead a life of goodness and live a life in the spirit.
john yes, a life lived in the Spirit is lived in service to others...Thank you...Armand
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