When I first walked through the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous I had no idea what to expect. Though quickly I was able to see what worked in others - a belief in and dependence upon God. As Bill once said "Would I have it? Of course I would."The Sixth Step of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous is "We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character." We learn through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous that alcohol is but a symptom of our true malady, our true malady is in fact self-centered fear. We are afraid we are not going to get what we want, afraid that we are going to lose what we have. Once our fears are triggered we reach for our character defects in an attempt to satiate our human instincts. The dictionary defines defect as, "the lack of something necessary for completion or perfection."
We learn in the Fourth Step of the program that it is necessary to find out what it is about us that keeps the Grace of God from our lives. It is in doing this that we discover the exact nature of our wrongs, as we make the list of our defects. In the Fifth Step of the program we confess our character defects. Then, in the Sixth Step, we are entirely ready and willing to have these defects removed.
It is our character defects that keep us from the perfection of God - from becoming the human being God created each of us to be and not the self-centered people who care only for their human desires and what they think they need in life. A person who is willing to use almost any means necessary to fulfill their desires is sick.
With all of our human flaws we can become the being God created us to be when we turn from our human nature and surrender to His will.
I inherently, instinctually, spiritually knew that I was not living as the person I was born to be. I just didn't know anything else. Alcohol actually helped me deal with that enormous counterfeit void. It took away all my ability to feel. I migrated between artificially low and drunkenly high. The ultimate gift of sobriety is that I have learned to know, respect, like, and love myself as the person I was born to be. My years in the program of recovery have proven to me that it has only been by integrating all Twelve Steps into my life in such a way that they have become my life that I am able to see myself clearly and to move confidently through the world. My character defects no longer block me from my free spirit as expressed by and through The Power Within me. I am free to be me and, as a result, possess something of value; something worth happily giving away.
ReplyDeleteMichael a life lived in the will of God is a life free of the manifestation of our character defects. The 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous makes that possible...Thank you...Armand
ReplyDeleteArmand, thanks again for sharing.
ReplyDeleteOnce this portion of the process is apprehended, I soon discover that I no longer fear the loss of the life once lived. That life, has been cast, like so much refuse into the trash pail of sinful acts and actions forgiven and forgotten by the Creator of all. An inexplicable shift in paradigm has occurred, the animal appetites need no longer be sated, my unbridled fleshly desires loose their allure, the obsession has been removed. In their place grows a consuming desire to drink at the Masters well as I pray:
Gracious God, knowledge of You is now my principal purpose and passion. It is my greatest need and most urgent desire. I really want to know You... not just as Creator and Sustainer of the universe but as my Father and Friend. I confess that often my lack of knowledge of You is the direct cause of my insecurity, inconsistency, insufficiency and vacillation in my prayers.
Lord, I commit this day to seeking to know You better, To open my true self to You; I desire to be real, honest and vulnerable with You; I invite You to invade every aspect of my life. Show me Your will and give me the strength and courage to follow Your guidance. Help me to dedicate myself to making the knowledge of You my first priority. Reveal Your grace and goodness, Your righteousness and power as life on life's terms becomes a joy filled adventure engaged in frequent visits to the mercy seat of the One who refines me in the fire of Your love. It is a miracle, as a new and unspeakably holy freedom is experienced and explored, the old life has passed away, a new life begun.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic a beautiful prayer...Thank you...Armand
ReplyDeleteThank you again Armand for sharing. In my fourth step, I realized that the principal character defect that bedeviled me was something I called "people-pleasing." In the fifth step, I told my sponsor I was a "people-pleaser" and he beamed and said, "But that sounds kind of lovely. You please people! Isn't that kind of nice, really! Why, it barely sounds like a defect." Then after a pause, he said gently, "I wonder if you could go back and come up with a list of all these people you have pleased?" As I scanned the columns I realized that most of my relationships were eventually marked by conflict, anger, and hurt feelings. I did not have a long list of satisfied customers after a lifetime of drinking-- in fact, I may not have had any. My sponsor then suggested that perhaps the proper name for my defect of "people pleasing" is "manipulation"-- I try to manipulate people into liking me, as that is what my self-centered fear demands, for me to feel secure-- and I do so by withholding key pieces of information from them-- namely, my opinions, or what I want, and need. I only show them what I think will go over well, so that they will "like" and approve of me-- and inevitably, when the manipulation strategy doesn't work, I fly into a rage. It was an epiphany. Only when I gave the defect its proper, uglier name-- "manipulation"-- was I able to become entirely ready to have God remove it from me.
ReplyDeleteDan i can relate so much. My manipulation was that i presented to the world what i wanted it to see about me so I could feel good about myself. Totally dishonest...Thank you...Armand
DeleteAny kind of spiritual progress I make is typically after a disaster I created. It is by putting myself through a 4th step I can assess my part in the disaster and who I harmed. The program of AA taught me how to hold myself accountable in the 5th, 6th and 7th step. Thomas Acquinas said that all the spiritual virtues are not obtainable until we first achieve the spiritual virtue of humility. The AA program is a spiritual program. It it takes a spiritual metamorphosis to have a shot at real recovery.
ReplyDeleteJim humility is the key that unlocks the door to the grace of God. All the Steps are based in humility...Thank you...Armand
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