I Don't Know It Its A Good Thing I Don't Know If Its A Bad Thing

        Many centuries ago there was a kingdom and in this kingdom there lived a farmer. The farmer owned a beautiful white stallion.  The king of the kingdom desired the farmer's beautiful white stallion so he sent an emissary to the farmer who offered the farmer a quarter of the king's kingdom for his beautiful white stallion. The farmer said, "No, as I love my beautiful white stallion." The very next day the beautiful white stallion ran away and all of the people from the village came running out to the farmer saying, "What a bad thing that happened to you, you could have had a quarter of the king's kingdom and now your beautiful white stallion has run away."  The farmer said, "I don't know if it's a good thing, I don't know if it's a bad thing, all I know is my beautiful white stallion has run away." 

          The very next day the farmer was in his field when he looked up on the hill beyond and saw his beautiful white stallion.  Behind his beautiful white stallion were four more white stallions just as beautiful as his. All the people from the village came running out to the farmer saying, "It's a good thing you didn't trade your beautiful white stallion for a quarter of the king's kingdom, as now you have FIVE beautiful white stallions. You could probably get half of the king's kingdom now!"  The farmer said, "I don't know if it's a good thing, I don't know if it's a bad thing, all I know is I now have five beautiful white stallions." 

          The very next day the farmer's son was breaking in one of the wild white stallions when he was thrown from the stallion and broke both of his legs.  So now, all the people from the village came running out to the farmer saying, "What a bad thing that has happened to you. You need your son to work in the fields and now he can't as he has two broken legs."  The farmer replied, "I don't know if it's a good thing, I don't know if it's a bad thing, all I know is that my son has two broken legs." 

         The very next day the kingdom goes to war and all the able-bodied men are drafted into the army after which they will go to the front end and they will surely die. The farmer's injured son could not go as he had two broken legs.  So, all the people from the village came running out to the farmer saying, "That is a good thing that your son was thrown from the wild white stallion and broke both his legs, as he would have been drafted into the army, been sent to the front end and would have surely died."  The farmer replied, "I don't know if it's a good thing, I don't know if it's a bad thing, all I know is my son can't go as he has two broken legs."

          The moral of the story is that we are not to judge what is occurring in our life as "good" or "bad", but to have faith and trust in God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
Written By Armand

No Need To Create A Past

The program of Alcoholics Anonymous has in place the fabric necessary to weave through and heal our character defects - whether they surface in our daily or our spot check inventories.  If and when necessary we use the Ninth Step which is, "Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others."  If we decide that an amend is necessary we immediately make it in an effort to live in the present. Only in the present can we be in the will of God, where His grace saves us from creating another past which we will need to extricate ourselves from. Once performed, we thread into the necessary fabric The Seventh Step, "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."  If our actions cause us to have any shame or guilt, we then use the Fifth Step of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, "Admitted to God, to ourselves and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs" so that we may be living in the present with a clean slate and a serene mind.

          If we are willing to take our inventories, make our amends, ask God to remove our defects, and share our wrongs with ourselves, God and another human being there will be NO NEED TO CREATE A PAST.  We will have the freedom to exist in the present - in the will of God.

          As alcoholics we have worked hard to free ourselves from our past. If we are willing to weave the program of Alcoholics Anonymous into our lives in such a way that it becomes our life than the creation of a past that, at least subconsciously, is having a negative effect on our present consciousness, will not occur. This is a critical tool in permanent recovery.

Written By Armand

The Fourth Dimension Of Life

        In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous it says, "We shall describe some of the states that precede a relapse into drinking, for obviously this is the crux of the problem.  What sort of thinking dominates an alcoholic who repeats time after time the experiment of the first drink.....therefore the main problem of the alcoholic centers in the mind rather than in the body."
                If our thought processes are propelled by the will of God rather than our human instincts we will not drink. Our character defects cannot manifest themselves in our behavior if we are in His will.  Instead, our character has been perfected, as we are now the human being that God created us to be.
                In  THE FOURTH DIMENSION OF LIFE we become a human being that cares about others in such a genuine way. We become a human being that wants to help others.  We think of other's needs before our own.  In the Big Book it states, "Our very lives as ex-problem drinkers depends upon our constant thoughts of others and how we may help meet their needs."
                We benefit in using all tools of recovery but, above all, we must turn from our human nature and live in the will of God. By doing so we will live a human life we could have only imagined we would. We will manifest THE FOURTH DIMENSION OF LIFE - a life free from the bondage of ourselves.    

Written by Armand

To Know Peace

In Chapter 4 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous it says, "...we had to fearlessly face the proposition that God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or He isn't. What was our choice to be?"  When I came to the very point in my recovery where I had no desire to turn back to my old life but I was fearful of letting go of my nature (and living in the will of God), the above statement had to be answered.   I may have answered in the affirmative earlier in my recovery but it wasn't until that precise moment that I fully understood what was being asked of me - or rather, required of me.
          If we are to recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body; if we are to be free of  manifesting our human defects in our behavior; if we are to live a life where we are tolerant and loving of all but never accepting of evil, if we are to live a life free from fear, anxiety and anger, if we are to be respected and loved and posses the spirit of charity forgiveness and  joy - not because everything in life is as our human nature thinks it ought to be but because God is with us.  Joy is not the absence of sorrow but the presence of God.
           For the first time in my life I had become fully alive as the Spirit was fully awakened within me. I became and am the human being that God created me to be, maximizing my human potential, free of conflict, and at peace.
           I am aware of what is required of me, and I have answered "Yes, God is everything." What will your answer be?
Written By Armand

Another Way To Look At Step Ten

I like to think of the Tenth Step of the AA program as a hallway - a hallway that I must walk down in order to come into the room in which I can live with God. This hallway needs daily repair as the ceiling is leaking, there are holes in the walls and the floor is buckled. Fortunately, the program of Alcoholics Anonymous has given us an instructional manual so that we can pass through, although we may be encumbered at first.
         Another way to look at this is as if God is the light and my human defects are a clouded glass which no light can shine through.  As I begin to incorporate the program of AA into my life and begin to develop a relationship with God, some of the glass clears and some of the light shines through.  As I continue to incorporate the Twelve Steps into my life, the glass clears even more and even more of the light shines through.  Finally, the day arrives when the glass is transparent and all of the light shines through and it is in this moment that I am one with God and free of the manifestation of my character defects.
          Incorporate the Tenth Step into your daily existence and, eventually, into all your waking moments. We must be persistent. Persistence is the time between the promise of God and the provision of God. Thereafter, a life free of anxiety, fear and resentment can be experienced; cloaked in harmony, peace and serenity.

Written By Armand

Our True Maldy

In the Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous in the chapter "How It Works" it states, "The first requirement (in taking the Third Step) is that we be convinced that any life run on self will can hardly be a success.  Remember that we deal with alcohol - cunning, baffling, powerful!  Without help it is too much for us.  But there is One who has all power - that One is God. May you find Him now!"  It also says "Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles... So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making...and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness... And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid."

       We have learned through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous that we have three basic instincts. These instincts are God given and necessary for life, but in me I can never get enough of what it is I think I need.  The great psychiatrist Sigmund Freud defines an instinct as "a bodily need manifested in our thought process."  What occurs for us as an alcoholic is our instincts manifest themselves in our thought process and trigger our self-centered fear.  We learned through the program that alcohol is but a symptom of OUR TRUE MALADY. Any addiction is such. OUR TRUE MALADY is self-centered fear: afraid that we are not going to get what we want, afraid that we will lose what we have.  Once our fear is triggered we reach for our character defects in an attempt to satiate our instincts. The only problem is that in us we can never get enough of what it is that we think we need, then we run around chasing our tails creating havoc in our lives - but more importantly, havoc in the lives of everyone around us.  This is the functioning piece of alcoholism.

        As an alcoholic we have a compulsive need to defend our basic human instincts, often to an extreme.  This manifestation of our character defects is a result of our self-centered fear that permeates our lives.  Alcohol is but a symptom of OUR TRUE MALADY. OUR TRUE MALADY is SELF-CENTERED FEAR.

Written By Armand

Sponsorship

I have had the privilege of working with many people in Alcoholics Anonymous. I have worked with all walks of life: male and female, rich and poor, young and old, believers and non believers, Christians, Jews and Muslims. I do the same thing with everyone - I always have the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous between them and me. I simply open the book and we begin reading at the preface. As we read the book we discuss the material. I don't change anything for anyone. The solution, a vital spiritual experience, is the solution regardless of what their problem may be in addition to their addiction. Obviously, if a person has mental problems then additional help is necessary for them.  I never tell anyone what they must do - I just follow the material and incorporate the Twelve Steps as we move through it all: A practice that can be replicated by anyone.

         I know that my behavior is being observed.  Not just whether I can "talk the talk" but more importantly can I "walk the walk".  Am I practicing the principles of AA?  In the forward of The Twelve And Twelve it says, "The twelve steps are a group of principles, spiritual in nature, which if practiced as a way of life can expel the obsession to drink and enable the sufferer to become happily and usefully whole."

         The following is what my sponsees see in me: I am responsible. When asked to take someone through the book of Alcoholics Anonymous, I say yes. I never consider whether I have enough time...  I simply just make it work.  There isn't a greater exercise one can participate in than to help another recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. Nothing. We meet once a week for an hour and I only cancel if I have an urgent family matter or if I am doing step work with another. My emotional state rarely, if ever, changes one week to the next as I am serene and at peace.  I never prepare for a meeting as I am dependent upon and trusting in God.  Again, I never tell another what they must do as it is their recovery. It is their relationship with God.  I am the example, not the taskmaster.

         When we live this life in AA we become happily and usefully whole.  Let us share in this legacy.  

Become The Being That God Created

When I first walked through the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous I had no idea what to expect. Though quickly I was able to see what worked in others -  a belief in and dependence upon God.  As Bill once said "Would I have it? Of course I would."
          The Sixth Step of the program of  Alcoholics Anonymous is "We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character."  We learn through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous that alcohol is but a symptom of our true malady, our true malady is in fact self-centered fear. We are afraid we are not going to get what we want, afraid that we are going to lose what we have.  Once our fears are triggered we reach for our character defects in an attempt to satiate our human instincts.  The dictionary defines defect as, "the lack of something necessary for completion or perfection."
          We learn in the Fourth Step of the program that it is necessary to find out what it is about us that keeps the Grace of God from our lives. It is in doing this that we discover the exact nature of our wrongs, as we make the list of our defects. In the Fifth Step of the program we confess our character defects.  Then, in the Sixth Step, we are entirely ready and willing to have these defects removed.
          It is our character defects that keep us from the perfection of God - from becoming the human being God created each of us to be and not the self-centered people who care only for their human desires and what they think they need in life.  A person who is willing to use almost any means necessary to fulfill their desires is sick.
          With all of our human flaws we can become the being God created us to be when we turn from our human nature and surrender to His will.