In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous it says, "When we encountered A.A., the fallacy of our defiance was revealed. At no time had we asked what God's will was for us; instead we had been telling Him what it ought to be. No man, we saw, could believe in God and defy Him, too. Belief meant RELIANCE, NOT DEFIANCE. In A.A. we saw the fruits of this belief: men and women spared from alcohol's final catastrophe. We saw them meet and transcend their other pains and trials. We saw them calmly accept impossible situations, seeking neither to run nor to recriminate. This was not only faith; it was faith that worked under all conditions. We soon concluded that whatever price in humility we must pay, we would pay."Written by Armand
When I first came to AA in 2007 I had a toxic mixture of ignorance and defiance. I was ignorant of what an alcoholic was and thought I could not possibly be one-- not me, not really. And I was defiant about the "G" word (God) and thought that was the province of superstitious or weak people. After three years of physical sobriety, I had a bad case of untreated alcoholism-- the spiritual malady, the "hole in the soul"-- and I drank again. Upon returning to AA eight years ago, I knew I had to do it AA's way, not my way. This time I walked the spiritual path, the path of steps, and I got what we get, which is a spiritual awakening. Today I have a higher power in my life and as I "grow in understanding and effectiveness," I find that life is more and more a process of turning things over to God. When I am in pain or confusion, it is almost always because I am trying to run some part of my life with self-will. God will do for me what I can't do for myself-- as long as I let Him.
ReplyDeleteDan one can not drink and still suffer from untreated alcoholism. The solution to alcoholism and any challenge in our life is a "vital spiritual experience". We must give life to our relationship with God. We do that by surrendering our human nature and living in the will of God. We then manifest love in our behavior and a connection at a deep level with others.
DeleteIf I may Dan, you articulated the problem and the solution in a powerful way...Thank you...Armando
Michael C.
ReplyDeleteDefiance was nothing more than a protective mechanism from doing the work necessary to find and love myself. In order to finally strike that gold I had to integrate all Twelve Steps into my life in such a way that I understand and love reliance as integral to my daily existence. I’ve discovered that it is the natural state of the person I was born to be instead of the unnatural state of the person I was afraid of being. My experience has taken me from being to being lost to being found through the program of recovery to being the person I was born to be. Recovery and discovery.
Michael love when you wrote "from being lost to being found."...Thank you...Armand
ReplyDeleteWrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy and but not least, gluttony. Each represents the essence of unrestrained human nature. All find their foundation in a self-worship that perverts the otherwise healthy instincts that God has provided for us to survive and flourish in this world. None can be completely abandoned by anything short of a miracle for what is impossible for mankind is remarkably easy for God. This was the bucket of muddy water I carried through the doors of AA, and were it not for a crippling and overwhelming sense of desperation I would never have crouched to enter through that low and narrow 12 Step gate.
ReplyDeleteTruly, God Himself had been walking beside me all along, even during the most depraved events of my prodigal journey. Loving and reaching out past my every act of unwavering defiance. His only one desire for me? That I surrender to His unspeakable love, accept the price he paid for me and invite Him to dwell within my heart. The 12 Steps and fellowship of AA brought into crystal clarity the faith hope and charity that is the grace of the Eternal Author's gift, freely offered to all who would receive it.
And having received Him, I have been invited to be a partaker in all that His Presence provides; true love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. I am yet no perfect practitioner or receiver of these virtues that are the essence of the serenity He provides… But just for today, I continue to pray that I will more clearly see His Presence in this world, in circumstances, in people, in the new person He is creating in me and celebrate the new life He is creating in others! Lord, I want to start this day with a pure heart so that I will experience more of the wonder of Your grace and goodness.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic..
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic a life lived in the presence of God is not a life devoid of challenges but a life with a solution to them as "joy is not the absence of sorrow but the presence of God.'...Thank you...Armand
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