While assembling my 4th step resentment list I found that the best way to cope with the resentments was to first pray for and forgive those that were on my list. In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous in the chapter "How It Works" it states, "...we realize that the people who had wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick. Though we did not like their symptoms and the way they disturbed us they, like ourselves, were sick too. We ask God to help us grant them the same tolerance, pity and patience we would grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, 'Perhaps this is a sick person, how can I be helpful to them? God save me from being angry, Thy will be done.' God will show us how to take a kind and tolerant view of each and everyone." As I drew closer to God this began to happen naturally, as it can as well for you.
As an alcoholic I do find that resentment is the number one malfeasance to a serene and peaceful life. If we are to have a clear state of consciousness that is free of conflict; if we are to lead an addiction-free life - a life in which resentment doesn't cause such conflict in our mind then manifest in our behavior - then we must let go of all of our human resentments. There is often no way possible to do this without the aid of the Highest Power. "That One is God may you find Him now."
Written by Armand
Written by Armand
No question that resentments cause problems far greater than discomfort, avoidance, and isolation. It's the emotional scars that lie deep beneath the surface, however, that cause the biggest and bitterest problems in alcoholics and, perhaps, in everyone. Thus, plain and simple, I cannot live with deep-seeded resentments which, upon investigation, are almost always fear-propelled. In The Fourth Step, I came face-to-face with my resentments but it was in The Sixth and Seventh Steps where I had to learn to let go. Once that process occurs in alcoholics, our next action is to replace those resentments and our other character defects with those qualities which we earnestly want but simply can't find. For me, it was/is by integrating all Twelve Steps into my life that I found The Power Within me which, in turn, enabled me to find me. To complete the gift, I must simply give it away.
ReplyDeleteMichael as the Big Book says, we go from go getters to go givers...Thank you...Armand
DeleteArmand,
ReplyDeleteLets continue to contemplate the "The Lords Prayer," specifically, how many times our hearts have stumbled over those words " as we forgive others" and the glorious freedom contained within, not only for my own life but the lives of those still living in the bondage of self. The Author of this prayer has called each of us to the awesome opportunity of intercessory prayer. And so I pray, Dear Lord God, today I want to pray for all those You have placed on my heart who are in distress because of the guilt and shame of unforgiven sin in their lives. I know from my own life the pain and anguish my sins have caused me and those around me and now out of gratitude and praise for Your forgiveness I want to pray for those people whom have harmed me and that I need to learn to love and forgive just as You have loved me.
Lord, I desire that I become a willing instrument of Your love and yet I confess it's difficult to love others as You have loved me. Lord, please heal those memories that act as a barrier to Your grace. As I continue my prayer my mind is flooded by people I have used for my own purposes with little or no thought of what was best for them yet I am eternally comforted that You have completely forgiven me. Please, help me to make amends to them and forgive them for any imagined slight I may have used to justify my former selfish attitudes and actions . Lord, open their hearts to Your love through me. Show me how I can be a partaker of your pursuit of them. Enable me to fully apprehend that to truly love my enemies is to will the ultimate good of another by my every thought act and deed so that I may be able to "comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passes all understanding and be filled with the fullness of God."
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic.
A Gratefully recovering alcoholic one of the blessings of the 4th Step is that we begin to pray for and forgive those on our lists. We must bring the Spirit of love into our 9th Step amends. Prayer and forgiveness in the 4th is necessary to do so...Thank you...Armand
ReplyDeletePraying for others that I have resented or become resentful of has been extremely helpful. I can’t change the other person however I can try and change my attitude around how I think or feel about another. I need to ask God for help and to please change me and remove my resentment. When I hang onto the resentment and stay angry I am blocked, I am putting up a wall and hurting myself.
ReplyDeleteI know that resentment is the number one offender and that I have to be free of anger to live happily. I can do my best to forgive and move forward, letting go of the resentment as it doesn’t serve me or anyone else. I can pray for forgiveness.