Alcoholics Anonymous, what a ride! Early on I heard, "I wouldn't trade my worst day in AA for my best day when I was out there." I was skeptical of these proclamations, but the sincerity of those members' claims could not be questioned, as those people were just like me in that they suffered from an illness (yet they no longer had the struggle). More importantly they seemed to be living enjoyable and fulfilling lives. I discovered the similar characteristics of openness and a willingness to give among many of them as they seemed to have found a purpose beyond themselves in Alcoholics Anonymous and needed to disclose the full truth of themselves in order to grow in their purpose. Now please understand, all of the above was difficult for me to accept because I came from an environment and a lifestyle where cynicism and skepticism were king and queen. The only purpose I had in life was to satiate my instincts and my own selfish desires.I learned in Alcoholics Anonymous that alcohol is only a symptom of my true malady - self centered fear: afraid that I am not going to get what I want, afraid that I am going to lose what I have. This fear propels us in our efforts to satiate our instincts and to provide for and meet the demands of our own selfish desires. Integrating the program of Alcoholics Anonymous into our lives in such a way that it becomes our life takes us out of ourselves thence we are given the power to help others. That we become capable of putting others' needs before our own is a direct result of the healing that occurs for us - this is a miracle. We know when we have extracted a purpose (helping others who are just like us to recover from their alcoholism) from our problem we are indeed fulfilling A PURPOSE BEYOND OURSELVES.
Written by Armand
The program of recovery took me out of myself in such a way that I was able to find my way back to the self I was born to be - through The Power Within me. Is that not a miraculous process! To go from self-loathing to self-loving by locating and then incorporating The Steps of Recovery into my life in a way that changed my life. And the lives of others, which is our highest calling and purpose. It took a ferocious beating by alcohol to find the joy and peace I possess today. That Gift is available to all who seize the opportunity! I've witnessed it in a way that The Truth has been delivered.
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Michael love your comment "self loathing to self loving." You are not a miracle but what has occurred for you is...Thank you...Armand
DeleteI wish I could tell you that my sobriety is mature enough so that I am over living in my self centered fear. I still fight it. Daily. The difference is that when I finally come to my senses, I know God will put me in a position I should be in. Its up to me to recognize what His will is for me. My experience so far for me is the quicker I recognize His will for me, the less painful the change I need to make. In myself I am a flailing blind man. In the Lord I have purpose and direction.
ReplyDeleteJim anyone who says time doesn't matter in AA doesn't have any time as it takes time to fully understand the pervasiveness of the human nature and how exhaustively complete the surrender must be...Thank you...Armand
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