After sharing the fifth step with myself and another human being, after exhibiting a sense of humility, after acquiring a clarity of mind and a sense of peace I braced myself for the final piece of the step - to admit to God the exact nature of my wrongs. I met my sponsor outside a small chapel on a day just like any other, I thought ... until he swung open the chapel doors. I looked down the center isle to the alter and became immediately aware of the quietness and state of holiness that existed. I froze and swallowed hard, realizing that the next few moments were going to be as profound as any other in all of my life. In that time, that place, and in that moment I was to seek the forgiveness of God for all I had done wrong in the past. Together, my sponsor and I slowly knelt down and he prayed for us in a way that only he would do. When he was finished I shared the exact nature of my wrongs with God - I had then completed the fifth step.Since then I have participated in many fifth steps with alcoholics and addicts that I have read the Big Book with. It is altogether a very humbling experience to be a part of - making me feel the utmost of helpful as a human being and supplying a sense of wholeness to lives. Once I did a fifth step with someone and as we were leaving the Church he said, "I know that for centuries people like you have helped people like me do exactly what we did today... but today was the day that I had the opportunity to be a part of it."
Yes, it is a remarkable experience to feel the nearness of God and to share that with another. It is an experience that is not meant to be missed. It is a complete cleansing of the past and, in turn, a receiving of the gift of forgiveness and a clean slate - all built upon a new relationship with God.
Written by Armand
I know that the absolute apex of my life in recovery has come about through my helping another alcoholic to find the same peace of mind that I've found. The Fifth Step requires a deep level of humility for both participants. In an absolute way, this Step signifies the commitment to completely let go of my human nature in order to find and know my higher, deeper, divine nature. Like you, taking The Fifth Step was the seminal moment in my return to the person I was born to be. The preceding and following Steps have become the basis for my rich, full life. My ultimate joy is in giving it all away. Just as it was so freely given to me.
ReplyDeleteMichael peace of mind is so wonderful to have and is the result of a personal relationship with God forged through living the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous...Thank you...Armand
ReplyDeleteThis is why discovering and accepting OUR Disease is the best life to have because through our acceptance in This LifeStyle, & CHANGE I am somewhat forced into looking into My own mirror accepting what "is" real and looking to make changes because without change "I" will Stay just The Same person; once we accept change and take the action to change ,that change will allow us to venture into a spiritual life that's more pure and deep, enabling us to find that same PEACE We seek to Move forward & HELP others
ReplyDeleteAnonymous the gratitude elicited from The Fifth Step experience propels us to help others experience the same...Thank you...Armand
DeleteArmand,
ReplyDeleteBless you for sharing your personal experience of that miraculous event. Especially the all too real feelings of impending doom that precede this most holy conversation. But the floor beneath doesn't droop away, nor do we plunge head first into some fiery pit of self imposed eternal damnation. Remarkably, as Michael C. has implied, we are met instead by a tidal wave of limitless Mercy, and Love beyond speaking. We discover that the very God of eternity, the One whom we had cursed, rejected and at times despised has been all the while; patiently, watchfully and yes joyfully waiting in that very place to reunite with His errant child.
Before we utter a word we discover He envelops the humble attitude of our hearts with a Love and Compassion beyond telling. But, like the "Prodigal" written of in Luke 15:11-32 we continue our "confession" anyway, even as waves of forgiveness wash away every remaining spec of gilt and shame associated with our past. And as we receive Him in our hearts we discover He has already received us in His, as our only Savior and Lord. In that eternal instant we become, literally... A new creation.
But the encounter isn't finished... It's only just begun, for He imparts to us not only Peace in His presence but an unquenchable desire to encounter Him more completely, and to exercise the power contained in the newly discovered gifts He has bestowed as fully embraced and lovingly cherished members of His eternal family. We discover that the heretofore insurmountable and mysterious wall that once concealed the "Simple" in the "Program of AA" has been removed, completely swept away by the unseen Hand of God who created us to experience this very moment and many more yet to be discovered. "Praise be to Him who's mercies endure forever" and thank you Armand, and everyone who has come after, for you're unbending desire, no matter the cost, to become His humble servant and a partaker of His ministry through the 12 Steps of AA that are inarguably grounded in the immutable Word of God.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic the forgiveness received in the Fifth Step experience is so vast that it equips us to go forward doing the same in all our encounters...Thank you..thank you...Armand
DeleteI remember my 5th, 6th, and 7th step vividly. I went to St. Thomas of Villanova Church on Villanova University's campus, the same place I did my 3rd Step with my sponsor. The church was being used and we moved over to the chapel. As we walked into the chapel, the sun shown brightly through the stained glass window. I remember the chapel was very cool and the spooky quiet. My sponsor gently took my through my story and face the truth about my life and behavior. And the end of my 5th step, we did our 6th step and I declared I was ready to turn my character defects over to God. Now I am a practicing Catholic and have given maybe hundreds of confessions to priest. None had never had the impact of this day. I felt for the first time my heart soften and it was a relief. I cried on my way home. I was born again.
ReplyDeleteJim thank you so much for sharing your beautiful experience with us...Armand
ReplyDelete