The day I stood in the parking lot drunk such a long time ago a most fortunate event occurred. I bumped into the only person I knew who was in AA. Such kindness he showed me - by speaking with me and taking me to my first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting that very night. It was there at that meeting that I raised my hand and said "my name is Armand and I am an alcoholic." Some seven years passed from that first night until I admitted complete defeat. Those seven intervening years proved difficult ones in my life as a direct result of alcohol. Fortunately, I did survive a bottom those seven years produced from which I could push up from.Since admitting complete defeat I have been blessed with a passion for the program of Alcoholics Anonymous which has given me a life, - a REAL life. I know that in order to keep that life I must give it away. In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous it says, "the entire load must be given away." It also states, "Our very lives as ex problem drinkers depends upon our constant thought of others." In the rooms, when I see a newcomer or someone there for their first time to my home group I will walk up to them, shake their hand and introduce myself. When anyone in AA asks for help of any kind, and certainly when I am asked by someone to take them through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous by reading the Big Book together, I say "Yes" - as perhaps that is the day they receive their KERNEL of faith, as I once did when I was blessed by another's kindness. Through just a KERNEL of faith, maybe, just maybe, they will be on their way to recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body.
Written by Armand
I celebrated my 11th anniversary yesterday. So far, I have received my coin at the very first meeting I attended. I can't speak for anyone but myself when I say I believe I was led to AA by God when I was ready to embrace the program. And it has been through AA that God has given me my purpose in life. And guess what? It has nothing to do with me.
ReplyDeleteI celebrated my 11th anniversary yesterday. So far, I have received my coin at the very first meeting I attended. I can't speak for anyone but myself when I say I believe I was led to AA by God when I was ready to embrace the program. And it has been through AA that God has given me my purpose in life. And guess what? It has nothing to do with me.
ReplyDeleteJim Happy Anniversary. You are a great voice in Early Birds...Thank you...Armand
DeleteYour post on the kernel is vitally appropriate to the events of recovery in my life. My first-ever AA contact - a stranger - exhibited a type of kindness I'd never felt before. He touched, revealed and identified that kernel. My experience that the kernel continues to grow as I incorporate The Steps into my life each and every day in ways that are limitlessly available through the presence of The Power Within me. We all have a kernel within us. Some have never known what the kernel was. But it was and is there - deep within all of us. It took deadly alcohol to awaken me to the certainty of something I couldn't.describe but I can now name - the kernel. The gift that keeps on growing.
ReplyDeleteMichael Gratitude for the life given us through a personal relationship with God delivered to us by the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous is exhibited in our willingness to help others...Thank you... Armand
DeleteArmand,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing.
The "kernel" that first comes to my mind is humility... Without it, any exercise of faith by this alcoholic is a very harmful proposition indeed. On the one hand I think of Moses, who believing he was born for a "special purpose" misappropriated his appointment with divine destiny, killed an Egyptian, fled to the desert, was mercifully reduced to a shepherd for 40 years. Until, it is written, he "became the humblest man on the earth." It was only after he had learned to be gentle and caring with a flock of sheep in the wilderness that he was deemed fit to be used by the Lord to lead Gods people to the promised land. And with a patience and love for them that rivaled God Himself.
Then I ponder Saul of Tarsus, otherwise known as St. Paul, who acting out with self confessed rage and misplaced religious zeal, "persecuted the church of God and tried to destroy it."... That is, until his Damascus Road experience and instantaneous conversion which resulted in the rebirth of arguably the greatest messenger of the gospel the world has ever known. In each of these examples although a heart was broken and pride was crushed; the talents, personality, culture and even passions that formed their unique identity were preserved and even enhanced as their faith now possessed the right disposition to be used by God.
So wether my willingness to follow the Master takes forty years (it almost did), or occurs in an instant in time, it was that first kernel of humility that opened the door to a faith that has lead to an ocean of Living Water and fathomless love, and like you, an almost indescribable empathy and deep desire that all who are seeking recoveries greatest gift humbly reach out and receive what is so freely given and can never be taken away.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic
A Gratefully Recovery Alcoholic. Humility is the key that unlocks the door to the grace of God...Thank you...Armand
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