Today I was reminded of the work of Dr. Tiebout, a pioneering figure in the treatment of alcoholism and early supporter of Alcoholics Anonymous. He concurred that "the characteristics of the so-called typical alcoholic are one who is narcissistic with an egocentric core, dominated by feelings of omnipotence and intent in maintaining, at all costs, their inner integrity." In a careful study of a series of cases regarding the alcoholic by Sillman, Dr. Tiebout reported that Sillman felt he could discern the outlines of a common character structure among problem drinkers and that the best terms he could find to describe said group were, "defiant individuality and grandiosity." Tiebout concurs with Sillman and states, "...inwardly the alcoholic brooks no control from God or man. The alcoholic is and must be the master of their destiny." Tiebout continues, "...granted the more or less constant presence of these character traits, it is easy to see how the person possessing them has difficulty in accepting spirituality and God. Spirituality, by its demand that the individual acknowledge the presence of God, changes the very nature of the alcoholic. So, if the alcoholic can use the spiritual tools of recovery and accept the concept of the presence of a power greater than themselves, then he or she by that very step modifies presently and possibly permanently his or her deepest inner structure and when done so without resentment or struggle then they are no longer typically alcoholic."In my own experience with the disease of alcoholism, the belief in God in and of itself is not enough, as I had always had a belief in God. That belief must also carry with it the component of TRUSTING in God to the point of making a decision to turn my will and my life over to His care. All we have today is contingent upon our relationship with God - in this day and in this moment.
Written by Armand
I am a not-so-proud possessor of the primary characteristics. Defiant in my fear, grandiose in my pride, superficial in my search for purpose. Alcohol took immediate care of all those defeciencies and more. As a result, I became the staggering embodiment of a bliwhard drunk, crying out for help through my self-centered isolation. The help came in the form of hope, first rendered by the fellowship of AA. But it took a far deeper leveling of my ego to face the exact nature of my wrongs. I had to learn The Big Book program of recovery through the incorporation of all Twelve Steps into my life in an essential life-changing way. Within that process I found A Power Within me for which I had yearned and whom I had always felt even in my darkest moments. Today, reliance has displaced defiance and a genuine desire to share The Gift with others has filled me in a visceral way. A indescribable certainty envelops my spirit. I know ii is Trust. I know it is Truth.
ReplyDeleteMichael well said 'reliance has repaced defiance."..Thank you...Armand
DeleteYes, I lived out that hyper exaggerated delusional belief in my own importance justifying every unrestrained journey into my God given appetites with unholy zeal that deliberately left God out of the equation. I became a bottomless layer of gilt and shame terrified by the ever-present fear of having my true self discovered and inner "daemons" exposed. There was... no good in me to be found. To be honest, there was no me at all. Just a self created caricature, a mere bundle of personas alternately exercised to gain acceptance and ultimate possession of the person, place or thing I craved.
ReplyDeleteYet, the effects of God's presence were everywhere and all about me. In overheard conversations, the random kindness of a stranger, witnessed displays of true love and affection, a baby's furtive glance. That was the life I craved in fleeting moments of sanity. But I knew it would only came about if I could summon the courage to completely surrender to His simple plan. A courage I simply didn't possess. A courage that could only be given by a Devine hand.
Gods gift of faith was finally given and as it drove me to my knees and the Ultimate Author of that vision I finally began to apprehend the radical change encountered in "How it Works." I asked for His protection and care with complete abandon and as I laid that wretched life before Him all the accumulated gilt and shame of 37 years fled into infinity... And miraculously, in its place, now resides the very Holy Spirit of God. The memory of that first encounter is as fresh in my mind as it was some 30 years ago. Today, I'm strangely thankful I discovered alcohol and the inevitable misery it brings. Without it, I would never have walked through the doors and into the fellowship of AA. I would have never encountered the Steps that lead to the "Peace of God that surpasses all understanding." (Philippians 4:7) I would never have come to know my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. And my beloved brother, neither would you.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic the defiance that is a part of my human nature cannot and will not be manifested in my behavior once I have incorporated the 12 Steps into my life in such a way that they become my life. Forever renewing my relationship with God through Daily prayer and meditation...Thank you...Armand
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