Thereafter having admitted that I was alcoholic I soon found out that alcohol in and of itself was not my problem, but was the manifestation of my problem. The true problem was self-centered fear - afraid that I was not going to get what I want and afraid that I was going to lose what I had.In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous it says, "When dealing with the fear problem, or any other problem, perhaps there is a better way as we are now on a different basis, the basis of trusting and relying upon God. We trust infinite God rather than finite self. We are in the world to play the role God assigns. Just to the extent we do as we think God would have us do and humbly rely on God, does God enable us to match calamity with serenity. We never apologize to anyone for depending on our creator. We can laugh at those who think spirituality is the way of weakness. The verdict of the ages is that faith means courage. All possessors of faith have courage. They trust their God. We let God demonstrate through us what God can do. We ask God to remove our fear and direct our attention to what we should be doing. At once, we commence to outgrow fear."
The integration of the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous into our lives leads to a personal relationship with God. Prior to that occurring, fear haunted all of our being, was in all of our moments, driving all of our decisions in an attempt to satiate our instincts. We were afraid that we were not going to get what we wanted and afraid that we were going to lose what we had. Today, in this moment, that can change. That will change for all of us if we are in alignment with God's will for us. We will then know a peace we have never before experienced.
Written by Armand
I have come to know and believe that fear, the most negative and pervasive part of my human nature, emanated from a total lack of trust in anyone or anything. I was an army of one in constant combat with a force far greater than anything I could muster. I lived a scared, defensive, faithless existence. It is no wonder that prodigious amounts of vodka came to the rescue, until King Alcohol ultimately sank me with a deadly force. On my knees and beaten into a state of reasonableness - a defeated drinker - I found AA and my first-ever experience with Trust. Enough Trust to follow the suggestions of a knowing sponsor and the clearly iterated Big Book program of recovery. And to then incorporate The Twelve Steps into my life until they became my life. No longer scared and surprisingly unscarred - the miraculous transformative power of AA - I began to think and act in accordance with my divine higher nature, although my human nature was not and is still not going anywhere. As a result, the fear-less question must be not necessarily how I live but where I live. Confined to my human nature only, I am destined for who knows what. Limitlessly free in my divine nature, I am destined to become and be me. The gift of me through The Power Within me.
ReplyDeleteMichael your writing of an army of one succinctly defines our illness of self centered fear...Thank you...Armand
DeleteThis Comment Is From A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic
ReplyDeleteArmand,
Without God I wandered as a lost child through "a house of mirrors" only to eventually become the distorted image reflected in the wavy glass. The very instant I surrendered to God I passed not into a new world but an entirely new dimension. Prayerfully, In His presence, is an instantaneous awareness that the old familiar self taught survival skills and situational ethics once relied upon, and the false flag of two dimensional living must be forever abandoned. It is now my willingness to accept His divinely inspired seeds of faith that casts out fear. In it's place grows an ever expanding understanding that the Ultimate Designer Of All is the absolute solution to all of life's blessings as well as it's challenges through His perfect guidance and eternal love.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic trusting in God and living in his will is the solution to our fear ...Thank you do much...Armand
DeleteFear is the evil and corroding thread and was the basis of everything in my step 4 inventory. It can still paralyze me today and only prayer and working the steps can remove It. We ask God to remove our fear and direct our attention to what he will have us be. At once we begin to outgrow fear. I choose to Face Everything and Reciver today rather than run away. I can only do this with my higher power who gives me the courage and strength to continue every day.
ReplyDeleteAnne very powerful but simple prayer to outgrow fear...Thank you...Armand
DeleteI agree fear is not my problem. Fear is an instinct that God gave me to protect myself. How I handle, or react to fear is my problem. The program of AA gave me a way for me to learn how to react to fear. While elements of AA are taught through the Big Book and my sponsor, much of it has to be experienced or learned. Sponsorship and fellowship provides me with a cushion of safety once I learned to trust others who love me just because I am an alcoholic. No agenda other than for both people in the relationship to serve God and each other just because...
ReplyDeleteJim yes in the will of God we do not over react to circumstances in our lives...Thanks...Armand
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