When I become angry or resentful, it is in that moment that I manifest my human SELF-CENTEREDNESS. In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous it says "that we think is the root of our troubles." It also goes on to say "It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise point that we permit these do we squander the hours that might have been worthwhile. But with the alcoholic whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found it fatal! For when harboring such thoughts we cut ourselves off from the sunlight of the spirit."
The solution to our alcoholism is a vital spiritual experience. We must give life to our relationship with God. We accomplish this by turning from our human nature and living in the will of God. We receive God's will through inspiration conditioned by prayer and meditation. We can't possibly be in the will of God when we are manifesting SELF - CENTEREDNESS in our lives , but by sobrogating our human nature to the will of God we cannot possibly manifest the SELF - CENTEREDNESS of our human nature in our behavior.
Written by Armand
I was taught that I was made of three component parts - mind, body and spirit. My greatest problem has always been centered in spirit. Today, I believe that some form of unknown and unwarranted fear was the real root of my problem. That fear shot right through my mind and bulls-eyed into my spirit. I was going to lose what I had, I was not going to get what I wanted. As an adult, I became the personification of His Majesty, The Baby. Self-centeredness was my lone companion, alcohol was my lone solution. What a way to live! Because I thought I resented nothing, I resented everything. I delusioned that because I was a father, I loved my children with purity. That because I was a worker, I was owed a living, that because I was an adult I was concurrently a man. Alcohol took care of patching my miserable life into a life a miseries. Then, Alcoholics Anonymous, then hope, then trust, then choice, then the presence of The Power I had been missing in the last place I ever thought to look - within me. This is the Gift of the Program of Recovery - the love of others, the love for others, the love of myself, the love for myself. Action is what occurred! Incorporating The Steps into my life until they became my life and placed me face-to-face with me and with The Power Within me. I have a sponsor, I have a home group, I have a way to live my life, I have a life beyond my wildest dreams.
ReplyDeleteMichael loved when you wrote "self-centeredness was my lone companion, alcohol was my lone solution." Alcohol is but a symptom of the problem. The true malady is self centered fear. That fear that resides in our human nature can't possibly manifest itself when we surrender our nature and live in the will of God...Thank you...Armand
DeleteMy "experience" with spiritual experience(s) is for some reason are almost always followed by pain and suffering at some level. Coincidence? I don't think so. As I work the spiritual program of AA, I find the source of the pain is my ego. At my last retreat I found a prayer, Litany of Humility, which systematically calls out all the various dimensions of my self centeredness, which spiritual healing requires. The prayer is a great table of contents of my ego. I am so grateful that God has given me the program of Alcoholic Anonymous to make the journey from being a human being with a spiritual experience to becoming a spiritual being with a human experience. I still have a lot of wood to chop!
ReplyDeleteJim our relationship with God is perfect as we have surrendered. The expansion of that relationship is simply a matter of maturity...Thank you...Armand
DeleteThis Comment Is From A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic
ReplyDeleteArmand,
True humility simply cannot exist in the mind and heart of a self-centered thinker. Humility, the state of being a God centered being only occurs as we spend time; serious time, in the presence of the Master, prayerfully communing with Him, seeking out His will and guidance in every moment so that our very lives begin to become the essence of his prayer. Consider Jesus' words recorded in Matthew 11:28 - 30, "Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." It is at this juncture, as we surrender our limited understanding of life on life's terms that we begin to be inspired by the Master, think the Masters thoughts and do the things the Master does as He progressively becomes the only object and destination of our journey.
At first, Gods will appears to be the diametric opposite of my own, inconvenient and out of focus... This well hidden self-centered pride pollutes everything. It stunts my spiritual growth, hobbles my relationships and causes me to miss His blessings. When I allow pride to reign, life becomes bland, truth becomes relative and values become debased. And so I pray:
Lord, You only ask that I believe You and are willing to let You change my life and help me to avoid sin and bear unimpeachable testimony to your intervention into my life. forgive me when I look away from you for even an instant and plummet into the all too imaginary raging waves of life as did Peter in the Sea of Galilee when he took his eyes from you. For only when my mind is firmly planted upon Your Word and gloriously sweet Presence will I have the power to face the ambiguities of today with the absolutes of Your truth, guidance, grace and love with all whom you place upon my path.
Lord, keep me mindful of the eight words of God-centered servanthood: Without You, I can't; without me You won't. Think Your thoughts through me, speak Your truth through my words, and enable Your best for others through what You lead me to do.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic