Primary Characteristics Of An Alcoholic

        Today I was reminded of the work of Dr. Tiebout, a pioneering figure in the treatment of alcoholism and early supporter of Alcoholics Anonymous.  He concurred that "the characteristics of the so-called typical alcoholic are one who is narcissistic with an egocentric core, dominated by feelings of omnipotence and intent in maintaining, at all costs, their inner integrity."  In a careful study of a series of cases regarding the alcoholic by Sillman, Dr. Tiebout reported that Sillman felt he could discern the outlines of a common character structure among problem drinkers and that the best terms he could find to describe said group were, "defiant individuality and grandiosity."  Tiebout concurs with Sillman and states, "...inwardly the alcoholic brooks no control from God or man.  The alcoholic is and must be the master of their destiny."  Tiebout continues, "...granted the more or less constant presence of these character traits, it is easy to see how the person possessing them has difficulty in accepting spirituality and God.  Spirituality, by its demand that the individual acknowledge the presence of God, changes the very nature of the alcoholic.  So, if the alcoholic can use the spiritual tools of recovery and accept the concept of the presence of a power greater than themselves, then he or she by that very step modifies presently and possibly permanently his or her deepest inner structure and when done so without resentment or struggle then they are no longer typically alcoholic."
                 In my own experience with the disease of alcoholism, the belief in God in and of itself is not enough, as I had always had a belief in God.  That belief must also carry with it the component of TRUSTING in God to the point of making a decision to turn my will and my life over to His care.  All we have today is contingent upon our relationship with God - in this day and in this moment.

Written by Arman

A Kernel

            The day I stood in the parking lot drunk such a long time ago a most fortunate event occurred. I bumped into the only person I knew who was in AA. Such kindness he showed me - by speaking with me and taking me to my first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting that very night.  It was there at that meeting that I raised my hand and said "my name is Armand and I am an alcoholic."  Some seven years passed from that first night until I admitted complete defeat.  Those seven intervening years proved difficult ones in my life as a direct result of alcohol.  Fortunately, I did survive a bottom those seven years produced from which I could push up from.
                Since admitting complete defeat I have been blessed with a passion for the program of Alcoholics Anonymous which has given me a life, - a REAL life. I know that in order to keep that life I must give it away.  In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous it says, "the entire load must be given away."  It also states, "Our very lives as ex problem drinkers depends upon our constant thought of others."  In the rooms, when I see a newcomer or someone there for their first time to my home group I will walk up to them, shake their hand and introduce myself.  When anyone in AA asks for help of any kind, and certainly when I am asked by someone to take them through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous by reading the Big Book together, I say "Yes" - as perhaps that is the day they receive their KERNEL of faith, as I once did when I was blessed by another's kindness.  Through just a KERNEL of faith, maybe, just maybe, they will be on their way to recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body.

Written by Armand

A Purpose Beyond Ourselves

        Alcoholics Anonymous, what a ride! Early on I heard, "I wouldn't trade my worst day in AA for my best day when I was out there."  I was skeptical of these proclamations, but the sincerity of those members' claims could not be questioned, as those people were just like me in that they suffered from an illness (yet they no longer had the struggle).  More importantly they seemed to be living enjoyable and fulfilling lives.  I discovered the similar characteristics of openness and a willingness to give among many of them as they seemed to have found a purpose beyond themselves in Alcoholics Anonymous and needed to disclose the full truth of themselves in order to grow in their purpose.  Now please understand, all of the above was difficult for me to accept because I came from an environment and a lifestyle where cynicism and skepticism were king and queen.  The only purpose I had in life was to satiate my instincts and my own selfish desires.
                 I learned in Alcoholics Anonymous that alcohol is only a symptom of my true malady - self centered fear: afraid that I am not going to get what I want, afraid that I am going to lose what I have.  This fear propels us in our efforts to satiate our instincts and to provide for and meet the demands of our own selfish desires.  Integrating the program of Alcoholics Anonymous into our lives in such a way that it becomes our life takes us out of ourselves thence we are given the power to help others.  That we become capable of putting others' needs before our own is a direct result of the healing that occurs for us - this is a miracle.  We know when we have extracted a purpose (helping others who are just like us to recover from their alcoholism) from our problem we are indeed fulfilling A PURPOSE BEYOND OURSELVES.

Written by Armand

"I don't know if it's a good thing, I don't know if it's a bad thing."

        Many centuries ago there was a kingdom and in this kingdom there lived a farmer. The farmer owned a beautiful white stallion.  The king of the kingdom desired the farmer's beautiful white stallion so he sent an emissary to the farmer who offered the farmer a quarter of the king's kingdom for his beautiful white stallion. The farmer said, "No, as I love my beautiful white stallion." The very next day the beautiful white stallion ran away and all of the people from the village came running out to the farmer saying, "What a bad thing that happened to you, you could have had a quarter of the king's kingdom and now your beautiful white stallion has run away."  The farmer said, "I don't know if it's a good thing, I don't know if it's a bad thing, all I know is my beautiful white stallion has run away." 

          The very next day the farmer was in his field when he looked up on the hill beyond and saw his beautiful white stallion.  Behind his beautiful white stallion were four more white stallions just as beautiful as his. All the people from the village came running out to the farmer saying, "It's a good thing you didn't trade your beautiful white stallion for a quarter of the king's kingdom, as now you have FIVE beautiful white stallions. You could probably get half of the king's kingdom now!"  The farmer said, "I don't know if it's a good thing, I don't know if it's a bad thing, all I know is I now have five beautiful white stallions." 

          The very next day the farmer's son was breaking in one of the wild white stallions when he was thrown from the stallion and broke both of his legs.  So now, all the people from the village came running out to the farmer saying, "What a bad thing that has happened to you. You need your son to work in the fields and now he can't as he has two broken legs."  The farmer replied, "I don't know if it's a good thing, I don't know if it's a bad thing, all I know is that my son has two broken legs." 

         The very next day the kingdom goes to war and all the able-bodied men are drafted into the army after which they will go to the front end and they will surely die. The farmer's injured son could not go as he had two broken legs.  So, all the people from the village came running out to the farmer saying, "That is a good thing that your son was thrown from the wild white stallion and broke both his legs, as he would have been drafted into the army, been sent to the front end and would have surely died."  The farmer replied, "I don't know if it's a good thing, I don't know if it's a bad thing, all I know is my son can't go as he has two broken legs."

          The moral of the story is that we are not to judge what is occurring in our life as "good" or "bad", but to have faith and trust in God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

Written by Armand

Conscious Contact

       For me, CONSCIOUS CONTACT is a personal relationship with God in this moment and at this time.  I do not look back in regret nor do I look forward in fear. Through the grace of God in this moment I have relinquished my human nature. My human instincts are no longer propelling my thought process, but rather my thought process is propelled by the will of God through inspiration.
   
       The "Big Book" of Alcoholics Anonymous says, "We may face indecision, we might not be able to determine which course to take.  Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or decision. We are often surprised how the right answers will come after we have tried this for awhile.  What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. We find our thinking will be, as time passes, more and more on the plane of inspiration. We come to rely upon it."  The dictionary defines inspiration as, "the thoughts of God implanted upon the mind and soul of man."  I do not need to run the thoughts of God through my intellect - I instantaneously perceive them as truth. The question becomes, will I be obedient?  Is my behavior going to be propelled by the will of God or by my human instincts?  The back half of the Eleventh Step says, "...praying only for the knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out", as my human nature will never do the will of God.
              
          It is here that a recovered alcoholic lives, in the will of God, through CONSCIOUS CONTACT.

Written by Armand

The Real Problem

What a beautiful program Alcoholics Anonymous is. Not only does it relieve our uncontrollable use of alcohol but is applicable to each and every problem in our lives.
         
We come to A A because we desire to stop drinking alcohol and are unable to do so on our own.  Alcohol severely impacts our lives, our minds, and our bodies.  We discover through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous that alcohol, of itself, is not and was not the problem - it is but a symptom of the problem.  The real problem with us as alcoholics (and addicts of any and all types) is self-centered fear. We are afraid we will not get what we want... and afraid to lose what we have.
         
When any of our human instincts are threatened we overreact until we make the decision in the Third Step of the program to turn our thoughts and our actions over to the care of God. Once we do this we are on our way to a serene and peaceful life.  The integration of the remaining steps into our lives leads us to a life in which we are praying and meditating on a daily basis.  When praying we ask only for the knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out. Remaining in that present state of mind, in the will of God, we do not drink. In God's hands all of our problems are solved.

God is the solution to the real problem. Once we are in His will we do not overreact when we think that our human instincts are threatened as we are trusting in His safety and serenity. May you find Him and his comfort now.

Trust - The Key Component Of Belief

To believe, we have to trust.  Trust is the key component of belief.  When I was a teenager I broke my relationship with God. It was a relationship that had developed through the early religious training I received in Catholic grade school.  The fact that I broke my relationship with God did not change that I had always believed in God.  I believed in God even while I was living the life of an alcoholic -- in utter pandemonium. My behaviors had nothing to do with my belief in Him.  It was my lack of trust in Him which led me astray from a relationship with Him for so long. Trust, according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, is "assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something". 

To have such certainty for the Supreme Power requires humility, exactly that which the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous gives us.  The incorporation of the steps of such a program into our lives begins the break down of our egos, so that humility (and all the many benefits from it) can seep into our lives. After some time we actually develop a hunger for it.  I have learned in my experience with the program of Alcoholics Anonymous that humility is the key which unlocks the door to the grace of God.  It is only through this grace that we remain sober and recovered from our addictions and the manifestation of our character defects.  Our egos must be deflated and our human desires subrogated to the will of God.  Belief is necessary but trust is essential.  

TRUST IS THE KEY COMPONENT OF BELIEF.    

Serenity

           Serenity is the absence of conflict in our thoughts.  We who have committed ourselves to the program (the Twelve Steps) of Alcoholics Anonymous have deemed that it is the program itself which must come first in our lives. Alongside such a commitment comes a personal relationship with a supreme power, such as God. Living by these honorable ideals ushers the blessings of serenity into the stream of our lives - no matter what transpires.

              

              In the Alcoholics Anonymous literature, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, such a paragon way of living is elucidated:  "We are no longer frightened and purposeless.  The moment we catch even a glimpse of God's will, the moment we begin to see truth, justice and love as the real and eternal things in life, we are no longer deeply disturbed by all the seeming evidence to the contrary that surrounds us in purely human affairs.  We know that God lovingly watches over us."

             

             By integrating the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous into our lives in such a way that they become our lives, and by manifesting the principles of those steps in our behavior, we have the opportunity to have safe and serene lives. Remembering that joy is not the absence of sorrow, but the presence of God … experience serenity we will.