Alcoholics Anonymous, what a ride! Early on I heard, "I wouldn't trade my worst day in AA for my best day when I was out there." I was skeptical of these proclamations, but the sincerity of those members' claims could not be questioned, as those people were just like me in that they suffered from an illness (yet they no longer had the struggle). More importantly they seemed to be living enjoyable and fulfilling lives. I discovered the similar characteristics of openness and a willingness to give among many of them as they seemed to have found a purpose beyond themselves in Alcoholics Anonymous and needed to disclose the full truth of themselves in order to grow in their purpose. Now please understand, all of the above was difficult for me to accept because I came from an environment and a lifestyle where cynicism and skepticism were king and queen. The only purpose I had in life was to satiate my instincts and my own selfish desires.I learned in Alcoholics Anonymous that alcohol is only a symptom of my true malady - self centered fear: afraid that I am not going to get what I want, afraid that I am going to lose what I have. This fear propels us in our efforts to satiate our instincts and to provide for and meet the demands of our own selfish desires. Integrating the program of Alcoholics Anonymous into our lives in such a way that it becomes our life takes us out of ourselves thence we are given the power to help others. That we become capable of putting others' needs before our own is a direct result of the healing that occurs for us - this is a miracle. We know when we have extracted a purpose (helping others who are just like us to recover from their alcoholism) from our problem we are indeed fulfilling A PURPOSE BEYOND OURSELVES.
Written by Armand
As both The Big Book and your writing so clearly delineate, fear was the underlying cause of my complete selfishness. Regardless of the masquerade, my life was contaminated with a sense of purposelessness. For I had no sense of self. In order to find myself and The Power Within me (which one day became the strongest sense I have ever known, I first had to locate an honest, legitimate purpose by which to lead my life, or I would fall further into the abyss of darkened self. Alcohol brought me to AA on my knees, and AA endowed me with two primary purposes: to stay sober, and to help another alcoholic to achieve sobriety. From that combined purpose, I first found hope, followed by trust, belief, energy and excitement. In the most complete way, I found my sense of self far beyond the limitations of my human nature. I have found the limitlessness life that I was born to live, enjoy, and give away.
ReplyDeleteMichael living in the will of God brings us to our true self thereby maximizing our nature as we become the being God created us to be...Thank you...Armand
DeleteThis Comment Is From A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic
ReplyDelete11. "Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out." Every step is in the order it is for a reason and Step 11 is no exception. All are written in the past perfect tense in the form of a testimony and as such forms a collective a deposition and map of a journey on the road less traveled with a simple clarity seldom encountered in secular writings.
For in AA we do not "work" Step 11 as though it were a point on the great "check list to recovery" as some may suppose or propose. The journey itself is the destination inspired and ultimately, through Gods grace fervently desired. It is; in its entirety, God's gift to everyone who is willing to embrace the immutable truth of His Word and undeniable Presence of His Person the moment "We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him."
This "Fruit of the Spirit" is a never ending story and manifestation of the divinely desired relationship, once locked in eternity and now inspired into our consciousness moment by moment, day by day as we pass through this life called space and time. And although it was always a part of His great plan I know now that my personal epiphany began the instant I "Admitted I was an alcoholic and that my life had become unmanageable" and that, as the poet has written, "has made all the difference", for I am convinced that the Creator of All continues to lovingly conform every aspect of life into His personal prayer and vision.
12. "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs". As the old desires are being systematically swept away, I'm compelled to inwardly nurture and surrender to this ongoing and ever broadening relationship with the Creator, Maintainer and Lover of my soul. I have, become a new creation.
Just as the 11th step bears witness to my understanding that it is God Alone who is the instigation and inspiration for my desire to commune with and please Him in all that He has called me to accomplish, any personal confusion over the principal priority for my life dissolves as His ultimate plan and purpose is made immediately clear in the very core of my being. Having once and forever been saved we're now called to be an "evangelist", that is, a witness to the Source of Eternal Truth.
And so, as this once desperately lived life begins to bear the unmistakable witness of Gods presence in the purpose for which I have eternally been created. The Holy Spirit who now resides within me is the magnet of promise that draws those still trapped inside the insatiable, desperate loneliness of a life without hope, to the Source of eternal serenity, peace and rest. "That one is God, may you find him now".
A Grateful Recovering Alcoholic
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic the purpose of the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous is to surrender our nature to the will of God. Difficult to do without helping others and placing their needs above our own...Thank you...Armand
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