The day I stood in the parking lot drunk such a long time ago a most fortunate event occurred. I bumped into the only person I knew who was in AA. Such kindness he showed me - by speaking with me and taking me to my first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting that very night. It was there at that meeting that I raised my hand and said "my name is Armand and I am an alcoholic." Some seven years passed from that first night until I admitted complete defeat. Those seven intervening years proved difficult ones in my life as a direct result of alcohol. Fortunately, I did survive a bottom those seven years produced from which I could push up from.Since admitting complete defeat I have been blessed with a passion for the program of Alcoholics Anonymous which has given me a life, - a REAL life. I know that in order to keep that life I must give it away. In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous it says, "the entire load must be given away." It also states, "Our very lives as ex problem drinkers depends upon our constant thought of others." In the rooms, when I see a newcomer or someone there for their first time to my home group I will walk up to them, shake their hand and introduce myself. When anyone in AA asks for help of any kind, and certainly when I am asked by someone to take them through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous by reading the Big Book together, I say "Yes" - as perhaps that is the day they receive their KERNEL of faith, as I once did when I was blessed by another's kindness. Through just a KERNEL of faith, maybe, just maybe, they will be on their way to recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body.
Written by Armand
Like you, I had my kernel too, thinking at first that it was somewhat corny. "Beyond your wildest dreams," they promised. "One day at a time," and "easy does it," they counseled. "Don't get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired" (to which I added another "T," Thirsty), they suggested. These were corny people, no doubt. But they were also we'll-meaning and gentle and funny and kind. They told me that "I was one of them." That I belonged with them - in meetings, in smoke-filled rooms with sometimes-stale cookies, in Big Book and Step studies. They told me to get a sponsor, a home group, and to help "that guy over there, shaking with two days off the sauce." They loved the bejabbers out of me. And I loved them. Still do. I was lucky I fell in love with AA, all of it. But the ultimate gift would come in learning that the real kernel was to be found in the program of Recovery available to me by incorporating all Twelve Steps into my life until they became my life. Today I know the kernel. And the program has advised me that I should give the kernel away. Every day in every way. That's what keeps the kernel strong, and keeps our ranks of Recovery growing. The mighty kernel.
ReplyDeleteMichael the message that we carry to other alcoholics is the love we have received and are compelled to give away.. Thank you...Armand
DeleteI too received the kernel from another AA person who passed on what they had to me when I arrived in AA for the last time. It was a daunting prospect that in their words 'I would be able to do the same for someone one day' as I stood shivering and hating myself at that meeting where I met my sponsor. The Best was yet to come as someone wrote in my Big Book and how true that turned out to be. What a gift I have been given and can only keep if I mine the limitless load and give it all away. Those words from my early days came true and the gift of recovery and the spiritual journey is one I would not miss.
ReplyDeleteAnne to be Blessed by the love of another is a wonderful gift to receive. To pass that love on is an even greater gift...Thank you... Armand
DeleteI like the analogy of "kernel of faith". It reminds me of the Lord's parable of the mustard seed. Two people were examples to me about the AA journey of being born again. The first was my sister, who never mentioned to me that I should go to an AA meeting. She shares my genes and grew up like I did in a "normal" alcoholic home. She did show me the benefits of the spiritual life that AA introduces to us. The second was my sponsor who patiently walked me through the program helping me be born again into a new way of living and how to cope with the challenges I typically face in everyday living. B okith my sister and sponsor offered me the kindness that only the spiritual way of living can give.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
Deletejim the love that is shared has its genesis in our relationship with the Lord. Thank you for contributing to A Ladder To Above and please continue to do so....Armand
DeleteYes. You welcomed and helped/help me immensely. Generosity like this is a reflection of something. Reminds me of waves going in and out, we crash - hit the sand, something greater pulls us back to the ocean - to Life. Surrendering routinely, going with flow, is more energy efficient than fighting the waves. Thank you for all your leadership by example, generosity and prayers.
ReplyDeleteSpiritual Being You are welcome...Armand
Delete